Health Forums

Posted: 17 March 2007 at 6:10pm | IP Logged

Im with you on that one.

It is your choice and it is a hard decision to make, there is no ifs and or buts about it.

Ive never been put in your position, so havent got any experience.  Im a neurotic mess when it comes to periods at the moment.  Im having chemotherapy, and been taken off the pill etc cos its bad for me.  So that doesnt leave a lot of options I can tell you!  Mine hasnt turned up for a loooong time now, however all the signs and symptoms of either about to start period..or newly pg are floating round, which doesnt help.  So much so, that i sent hubby out to get me a test, just in case.  Before i was diagnosed we were going to have another baby..however on diagnosis..my life is more important.  If I get pg, then I will have to make the decision on what to do.  Ive already said to hubby that if it does happen then i will be having a termination, as I want to be around for my girls for a long time, rather than play the odds and run the risk of not being around for a newborn for very long.  As the treatment progresses, with pills and potions etc, having more children becomes null and void..so its a hard thing to weigh up.

You know in your own mind what is right for you, and I dont envy you at all in the making of your decision

Posted: 17 March 2007 at 9:30pm | IP Logged

Thank you for all of the replies. I can assure you that this is the hardest decision of my life and not 1 that i would wish on anyone. I thas made me realise that people have to make sometimes decision that they dont want to and that its not an easy decision to make.

This is the 2nd time i have got pg on the pill. I fit wasnt for my health then i know that we would overcome the other problems as with money and time you do have to just manage although its not easy.

But my health was so bad with my last pg that my uc consultant advise that i didnt have anymore. I was so poorly and was no good to my family for months i dont think i left the house for months except appointments and towards the end i lost lots of weight luckily my dd dint suffer and had to be induced early. With my pg before that i was actually better and my uc seemed to go but already this time its begining to flair up and i know it will get worse i have had to higher my medication.

I know i have to make the right decision for my whole family and i know whatever decision i make will be the right 1 as we are a strong family and will get through whichever and it wont be a decision that we make lightly.

Thanks again for listening it really helps to get my feelings out xxx

Steph huge hugs for you xxx Did your hubby get you your pg test? Hope you get the outcome you want xxx

Posted: 17 March 2007 at 9:52pm | IP Logged

Like the others, I wish that I had something more constructive that I could say, but wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you. This really is a tough one, and I can see the different ways that you're being pulled. Have you made an appointment with your GP to discuss things?

Like Sam said, you are the one who has to live with whichever decision you make. It's good that your dh is being supportive, and I can understand that he doesn't want to pressure you, but has he given you any indication of what he'd like to do?

Children are very resiliant, and also like earlier said, I think every mum worries about not giving their child(ren) enough one to one time. Part of being a mum of any number of kids is mind-boggling guilt about whatever decision we make! But you have to offset the fact they'd have to share you a little more with the fact that they'd have a close support network in the form of their brothers and sisters, and I'm sure that they wouldn't feel they've suffered or missed out on anything if you do decide to continue with the pregnancy.

Your health seems to be the really decisive issue, and obviously it's an incredibly important one. I don't have UC and have to admit to being fairly ignorant about it. Is it a certainty that it will get worse if your pregnancy progresses, or is there a chance it will become more managable again?

Do you see your UC consultant regularly anyway? If not, could you arrange another appointment to see him to talk this through with him?

If you do decide to terminate, no-one here will judge you, just as they wouldn't if you decide to go ahead. Plenty of women have more than 5 kids, there are three at our school with 7! The decision is yours and your dhs alone, but whenever you want to weigh things up, go over it, ramble, or anything, we'll all be here to support you in whatever 'virtual' way we can. Big hugs

Rachel xxx

Posted: 18 March 2007 at 1:09am | IP Logged

I think that you have recieved the greatest opinions and supportive consultation on here...here's a big hug to help you feel better on whatever decision you decide to take..I think if you have tried to manage your Uc during preganancy..you  have tried so not lose giving up not trying if you know what i mean. I had vomitted til 9 months and have just managed what i could with medications that were not safe for the baby but she appeared healthy as ever..if you really believe.

Take care of yourself and your spirit upmost!!

Posted: 18 March 2007 at 2:51pm | IP Logged

Yes mate, hubby got me the test...i expected a bog standard cheapie test..but no he got the digital ones cos its a 'gadget'.  Did the test and it came back with a big fat NOT PREGNANT, which was a relief.  Its annoying having all the signs and symptoms of one or the other..with nothing turning up..which is tough going psychologically.  I know its part and parcel of the chemo..but when you get used to things 'turning up' when they are supposed to its hard going being in limbo land as the days tick by and nothing turns up.  I dont know if its an early menopause thats starting to kick in, or if my af is going to turn up as and when it can be bothered, or if I could be pg, or if it could be something more sinister. 

All I can say is its bleeding annoying lol!  Typical though I got all the stuff in just after my last one cos I was running low...and the sodding thing decides its not going to turn up!

Youll be fine with whatever decision you make.  Nobody here will judge you or anything.  We all have to make tough judgement calls along the way, and some are harder than others.  But then how would we learn anything if everything was easy!

My philosophy: You live, you learn, you get on with it, no matter what!

Posted: 19 March 2007 at 1:27pm | IP Logged

Steph im glad you got the result you wanted. Periods are just a nightmare, we hate it when we have them but we stress when we dont! Men dont know how lucky they are. all they moan about is pmt and not being able to get any action (well my dh does).

I have done a lot of thinking all weekend gone round in circles and keep coming up with the same argument. I know that it would be best for ME to terminate this pg what with my health, children and finances taken into consideration but i dont know if i could actually go through with it i cant get an appointment with my gp till thurs and even going there and saying what i want makes me feel sick but i think its probably best that  i have a few more days to decide 100% either way. I know my dh deep down would keep the it but it is alot easier for him to say. He loves the kids to bits but has no real idea how tough it is. He took ds2 to a party sat pm and thought that was a big deal. Dont get me wrong he does do what he can but because he works so much its all down to me to make sure homework is done, things are sorted for school like money for trips or organising costumes for plays, cooking cleaning ironing trips to drs etc Making sure the kids are happy with friends arranging who needs pciking up from afterschoolclubs and going to mates and vice versa. Im sure he thinks i sit at home and watch tv allday. Know dont get me wrong its not that hard and i dont mind it but i just wish he knew what i have to remember and do in a week. he would fail on the second day and thats what worries me about my health, if it does go downhil how will we cope before and after.

Im still rambling. i watched comic relief and i realise how lucky we are and my problems are really problems.

thanks for listening again xxx

Posted: 19 March 2007 at 1:42pm | IP Logged

ive been sitting here thinking of what to say to you but cant think of anything i can say, ive never been in your position so i dont know how you feel but can only imagine how hard it is for you and your dp.

hope things work out for you hun and let us know how it goes at the docs on thursday,

hugeto you.

luv bev.