Joined: 02 August 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 1069 Gender: Female
Posted: 10 April 2007 at 5:09pm | IP Logged
I agree with you kim
I think if i saw a child really getting hammered then i would say
something but if it was a smack on the bum/hand whatever then i
wouldn't interfere, in fact i would probably sympathise with the parent !.
Sometimes a smack on the bum is the only way i can get through to
thomas. He has three warnings 1st, then a threat (take away a toy etc)
and if that doesn't work a smack is the only thing that will work and
then he knows he's pushed me to far.
I think unless the child is in danger, you should reserve judgement -
you can't be sure what goes on or what has happened before the
smack.
Joined: 30 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 6849 Gender: Female
Posted: 10 April 2007 at 6:05pm | IP Logged
Smacking a child and leaving a mark is in fact illegal.
I do not like the idea of children being smacked, I dont think it is the way to reach children. i find it much more effective to bend down to Joshua's level and tell him what he has done wrong. Smacking and screaming at children only gets the parents high wired, and the children making more disturbance.
Although I do agree that smacking children in public shouldnt happen Im not so sure how the supermarkets wioll be able to control a ban. As already stated, if the supermarket is going to enforce this staff will need disclosure checks and child handling. Where will they be drawing the line and who will be doing the monitoring?
I think in principle the idea is fine and all well and good, in practice I dont think it will have any effect.
Joined: 12 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 8789 Gender: Not Specified
Posted: 10 April 2007 at 7:15pm | IP Logged
There is a big difference between abusing (be it psychological, physical, sexual or emotional) and smacking a child, but somehow amongst the wonder institution that is our media it has been distorted yet again.
I smack my children and I've done it in public (with no shame) and no-one has ever interfered nor are my children traumatised by the whole experience. Like Steph, I would DARE anyone to try and tell me how to bring my children up.
In fact, I got a rather sarky comment from an old man in a restaurant for allowing my child to squeal. My mum explained that he was only 20 months old. But in retrospect that man probably would have welcomed my child to be smacked (I didn't in that instance)!
I think it depends on the circumstance. Generally you use your common sense. If you see a child in an obvious abuse situation you act, if not then you mind your own business.
PS Shop assistants should not be involved unless duly warranted
Joined: 27 October 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 1657 Gender: Female
Posted: 10 April 2007 at 7:38pm | IP Logged
No way has a shop assistant the right to tell me how to discipline my children. I was smacked as a child and I don't think it has harmed me. Harry is given a small slap on his hand, if he is really misbehaving and this is as a last resort. The other 2 were treated the same and know how to behaviour and what is expected of them.
Joined: 04 October 2006 United Kingdom Posts: 881 Gender: Female
Posted: 10 April 2007 at 8:10pm | IP Logged
Whatever you think of smacking, I don't think that shop assistants should be given any legal powers to get involved, unless a clear boundary is overstepped and you'd hope that many people would get involved if that was the case. Personally, I have got involved in Basingstoke WHSmith when I saw a lady actually kick her child over because she dropped something when the queue was moving and she didn't move quickly enough for her mum. The little girl hit her head hard on the queue railings, cut it, and was crying quite a bit in obvious distress, and her mum just tutted at her, then shoved her out of the way again to move forward in the queue. I just checked the girl was OK and helped her off the floor (where her mum had physically kicked/shoved her for the second time in seconds) and when her mum told me to keep my hands off her daughter, I told her that if she kept her feet off her daughter then I wouldn't have had any cause to go near her in the first place, and she should really get that nasty gash looked at as blood was running down her face. The mum seemed to deflate a little at the sight of the blood and she hug her daughter and clean her up, though presumably the fact that she'd probably caused a lot of bruising with her behaviour didn't bother her at all.
The major point the government appears to have missed is that there is a whole WORLD of difference between an occasional smack given by a loving parent as a last disciplining resort, and regularly beating the crap out of your child or physically abusing them. Physical abuse is clearly illegal, and yet it still goes on. It just isn't done in public where shop assistants can make it stop. This kind of legislation will just put extra pressure on law-abiding parents, making them feel as though they're being watched all the time, but those parents who regularly hurt their children will just go right on doing it at home.
Joined: 15 December 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 4410 Gender: Female
Posted: 10 April 2007 at 8:20pm | IP Logged
Well myself personally think this is stupid. If someone tried to tell me whats right or wrong with my child i would tell em where to get off. I do smack my girls but only when its really nessasary and they know it. At the end of the day my girls are very well behaved and have little slip ups. I say its down to how you bring them up. Also its weather they have it in them or not. My girls stated having one or two tantrems while we were out on holiday. I took them away from the situation and calmed them then took them back. They were fine then. Its how you deal with it. But i think its wrong anyone can tell me whats right or wrong. Ppl will eventually be able to tell ppl what they can and can't do its getting ridiculous.
Joined: 24 March 2007 United Kingdom Posts: 60 Gender: Female
Posted: 10 April 2007 at 8:56pm | IP Logged
Like many of you I was smacked as a child and although I don't intend to smack my dd I don't think that one person should tell another how to handle their child. It does go on different situations and I think that it is wrong to suggest that shop assistants should have the say over what a parent does.
Joined: 14 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 2421 Gender: Female
Posted: 10 April 2007 at 9:34pm | IP Logged
Just thinkin, if there are these added "responsibilities" to the shop assistants job, surely that would mean a pay rise...potentially a rise in minimum wage as the bulk of jobs are shop work? There would be many people striking and leaving their jobs because they dont agree with it, or cant handle it which would mean the gvt have to pay more money out as they will probably have to claim benefits!
The raise in wage would mean the companies "rethink" their employee's and possibly lay them off, and of course then there's inflation because of the labour costs!! Its a cascade event!! It will cost more money than its worth!
Joined: 13 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 341 Gender: Female
Posted: 10 April 2007 at 9:55pm | IP Logged
I think that in extreme circumstances such as your child doing something which will endanger theirs or others lives then we must have the ability to discipline them appropriately but this in no way includes beating them or lashing out through our own frustrations.
I agree that too many people stand by as some children are genuinly mistreated however it takes a degree of training to be able to intervene and mediate and it is unfair to put the onus on an assistant who has been been thrust into the position of mediator and potentially can make a situation worse or become the focus of anger themselves. I don't think that phsycologically it can be of benefit.
I didn't see the articfle on the television so am adding my twopenneth without the basis of the report but think that some initiatives are misguided and rushed in without proper thought being given to the parties who will be involved on either side.
Joined: 12 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 3467 Gender: Female
Posted: 11 April 2007 at 9:19am | IP Logged
i am a shop assistant and theres no way i would tell anyone what they should and shouldnt do with there children !!! i never seen this but wish i had,
i as a child if i needed it got the odd smack and it didnt do me any harm (never had many as i would a good girl pmsl) - i dont like it but if needed i do give molly a tap to be fair she knows as well and it does work she will get warnings first - there is no way i would smack her enough to mark her or know that any serious harm will come to her but an odd slap on the hand bum in my eyes is fine and if i or carl wanna do it we shall !!! jue xx
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Topic: on GMTV this morning hitting kids
My mum explained that he was only 20 months old. But in retrospect that man probably would have welcomed my child to be smacked (I didn't in that instance)!
