Pregnancy Forums

Posted: 13 April 2007 at 10:08pm | IP Logged

Has anyone whos had a missed miscarriage been in the position where they've had to wait to have it confirmed?

Yes, you can see where I'm coming from and I'm just curious if anyone else has experienced this and what they did.

I've been doing a bit of reading and can understand why the guidelines say that the sac has to measure 20mm and there be no evidence of a baby, but I'm stuggling to accept that I have to stay "pregnant" for another week when there's nothing there.

I'm thinking of ringing the hospital to chat it through as when they told us yesterday, I wasn't really in the right frame of mind to ask questions as I'd not really taken on board what was being said. I know when I ovulated as I was potting my BBT so I know when conception would have occured. Giving up to a week of error, I would be at least 8 weeks pg (LMP 9 today) so there would be something there.

If its something that you'd rather not post on here, I'd be grateful if you would PM me. I'd really like to know if anyone else has experienced this.

I just feel that having bled for the past 3 weeks, I've been through enough and to wait another week, and then possibly longer to get the op is just rubbing salt in the wound.

Thanks in advance.

Posted: 13 April 2007 at 10:14pm | IP Logged

I wish I had the answers for you. I think you would be wise to call the hospital and talk it through, I'm sure they'll understand.

All I can say is I had a scan at 8+4 weeks pg and the baby was obvious. I'm sorry if thats not what you want to hear and all pregnancys are different so I cannot comment on yours.

I hope you can get this sorted soon and move on.

Have a lovely day tomorrow for Ella birthday.

Posted: 13 April 2007 at 10:19pm | IP Logged

Thats exactly it Madz - at 8 weeks, then a baby would be visable. That's the bit that I just can't get my head round why I've got to wait.

Its catch 22, I'm sure there is no answer. Maybe I'm just too impatient but although I'm devastated, it wasn't to be and I accept that but in order to get the closure, I need to know when its going to end so that I can say goodbye to what could have been, and then grieve and start to find some normality again. At the moment, I'm just in this false pregnancy bubble with the distorted taste, nausia, sore boobs and bloated stomach.

Arse cow fish as they say.

On the plus side, I'm surounded by balloons, presents, banners and a rather splendid Bob birthday cake in the other room!

Posted: 13 April 2007 at 10:20pm | IP Logged

No I wasn't in this position as I was 11wks and 4days but I know people who have been.  For them the hospital wouldn't budge on waiting another week for a scan and I think looking back afterwards you might be able to understand in hindsight but it won't make it any easier whilst you are waiting.

On the day I went for my D&C I had doubts, what if they just missed the baby, what if it was really there and they made a mistake, I wanted to see the pictures of what wasn't there so that I could know 100% that what I was doing was right.  If after having the D&C you started to doubt your decision that would be the hardest thing to live with.  I know it's hard, I know it's not fair but I think you need the week to wait and see so that in your heart in the future you know without a doubt what you decided was the right thing. 

The need for closure I understand totally and wanting to move on but for the future you need to do it in the right way so you do not toture yourself further along the line with guilt or doubts.

Be strong x

Posted: 13 April 2007 at 10:23pm | IP Logged

I want to see the picture too, morbid as it may sound but for that exact reason. I saw it empty at 6 weeks, I'd like to see it again.

Maybe the best I can hope for is for then to say they can pencil me in. But then, I don't know if they'll do that. I suppose it doesn't hurt to ask.

Posted: 13 April 2007 at 10:37pm | IP Logged

Im sorry i dont have any experience of this either but like madz i had a scan at 8 weeks and baby was visible...but all pregnancy are different and i cant either comment.

 Afriend of mine has jsut had an ectopic pregnancy and had her falopian tube removed - it was the "good" one as well as she has something wrong with the other...not quite sure what - i know this prob doesnt help or make u feel any better but things will get better once u have some closure - i hope you get to know whats happening soon :)

Posted: 14 April 2007 at 7:58am | IP Logged

Diz, When I was pg with Harrison i suffered terrible cramping pains and had to go for a scan at 8+2 weeks, on the actual scan you couldn't see a thing and I thought i had mc, although i did not bleed.

They gave me an internal scan and all they could see was an empty sac. I had to go back a week later and I was 9+3 and had another internal scan that just showed the tiny flicker of a baby in a sac

They could not give any explanation as to why it wasnt picked up at 8 weeks even though i knew for definate my dates, it was just one of those things.

I agree with Sam on waiting another week because even thought it feels like torture to wait even longer you have to be certain.  When I had my D&C even though I knew I had lost my baby and the scan showed nothing at all I still though about the fact they might have missed something or got it wrong.

Its not uncommon these days as you hear about it.

I'm not exactly sure what im trying to say, I just know that the wait to 'get it done with' is the hardest as like you say you want to move on.

 x xx