Joined: 12 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 6441 Gender: Female
Posted: 05 September 2005 at 6:59am | IP Logged
Just trying 2 weigh up the odds of having another baby anytime in the future.
Thought it would b good if every1 (whether u already hav more than 1, r thinking about having a 2nd lo or never want more) could list reasons for &/or against having more than 1
Joined: 12 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 6441 Gender: Female
Posted: 05 September 2005 at 8:26am | IP Logged
Wenever i think about it i seem 2 come up with more reasons against but the few good points seem 2 outweigh the bad (maybe?)
Pros - A playmate for lo, u'll know wot works for u (although new lo might hav different ideas), if 1st los still young u might not need 2 buy everything again, u'll know wot things u really can live without, labour might b easier/faster...
Cons - U'll hav 2 share ur love between both los, u might hav 2 deal with jealousy, any pg probs u had 1st time could come back worse, tbh most of the cons seem 2 involve pain 2 urself during pg, labour & afterwards. Everything will b more expensive, chances of getting ur figure back r even less than 1st time round...
Joined: 11 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 5766 Gender: Female
Posted: 05 September 2005 at 8:29am | IP Logged
I have 3 children. Hayley and Fran live with their father during the week in Gloucester as that is where they go to school and all their freinds were so I didn't want to move them when I moved. They stay with us alternate weekends.
I think I would like another baby then on other days I think not. It's a tough decision.
Pro's: Ollie will have a playmate, I would like another baby before I am 38, I am enjoying Ollie so much another one would be nice, it would feel like our family was complete.
Con's: Financially not sure we can afford it at the moment, would have a seating problem in the car, Hayley and Fran may feel like they have been pushed out, health wise not sure my body will appreciate another pregnancy, need to get my crohns into remission before I can get pregnant.
Joined: 12 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 5851 Gender: Female
Posted: 07 September 2005 at 9:51pm | IP Logged
I always wanted 2, until I had Ella!! Her birth wasn't exactly straight forward and the 1st 8 weeks were horrid. I have PND too and really didn't know if I could go through it again.
But then again, I'd love her to have a brother or sister. I know what I'd do differently next time so I think we will have another - but not for a few years.
Although at 4 this morning, I decided there was no way I'd have another incase they were as bad a sleeper as Ella!!!
Joined: 17 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 3600 Gender: Female
Posted: 07 September 2005 at 10:17pm | IP Logged
I'll start with the cons first!
My labour/ birth was definitely harder and longer than the first time,
sorry!
You have another load of washing & ironing.
Pros-
Before they come along you worry about the first and how on earth
you'll love someone else as much as them. Then the second one
comes along and it's like they are a wee stranger at first. Then your
heart grows a bit bigger every day and soon you have enough room
to love them as much as the other.
You realise that you spent alot of time entertaining and pandering to
the first. The second one needs less of your attention because they
love to watch the first! Emilie watches her big brother all the time.
When he does acknowledge her she is so thrilled. (He is oblivious to
her a lot of the time!)
You relax a lot more with no.2! But that also means that they seem
to grow too fast. It seemed to take an age for Alex to reach certain
milestones; like laughing, rolling over, weaning etc- Emilie has just
gone from newborn to 5 month old in nannoseconds!
The more children you have the more Christmas and Birthday
presents you'll get in the future!
Joined: 12 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 8737 Gender: Female
Posted: 07 September 2005 at 10:22pm | IP Logged
I have two wee boys under the age of two years old.
Pros-close in age may mean a stronger bond than a larger age gap
Get each stage over and done with more or less at the same time
Cons-bloody knackering
There is a certain amount of jealously from the older one
It doesn't have to be much more expensive having more than one child. We have used all of Max's big baby items for Tom such as the cot, walker, sling, clothes etc. We were lucky that my parents bought us a tandem buggy, but he has hardly accumulated alot of money being spent on him!!
Joined: 17 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 3600 Gender: Female
Posted: 07 September 2005 at 10:30pm | IP Logged
I also think it's good for no. 1 as they realise the hard lesson in life that
they can't be the centre of the universe all the time and that it's
important to consider others and share. Obviously these lessons will
take a few years to come to fruition!
Alex was so jealous at first (Check out the "It's not fair" pic on page 2
of my gallery!) But now he's beginning to kiss Em on the head from
time to time and say "I love you Emilie!" v. cute!
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Topic: pros & cons on 2nd lo?
. Everything will b more expensive, chances of getting ur figure back r even less than 1st time round...
