| Posted: 19 April 2007 at 6:50pm | IP Logged
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I had my hospital appointment this morning, and the scan confirmed a missed miscarriage. The sac hadn't developed since last week, and was starting to collapse. The sonographer showed me and talked through exactly what was happening, and showed where it had started to bleed around the sac.
The nurse was brilliant, and after I'd explained that I needed this to be done and over, she moved heaven and earth for me to get me into theatre today. I had my scan appointment at 10, and I was in theatre at 12. I'd decided to take the surgical route as I felt as if I'd been through enough having bled for 4 weeks - the other 2 options didn't appeal at all.
The surgical team were fantastic, and I was only under for 40 mins. They've been able to completely clear the uterous, so its all done. They kept me in until they were happy that I had eaten, drank and wandered about, and let me go at about 4.30.
Physically, I feel very out of it and quite sore, mentally - relieved that its done, glad that the hospital were so helpful, numb and completely drained.
So there you go. I know that there was no baby, not even a sign that one started to develop. The bleeding I had at 5 + 4 was the start of my body realising that all was not well, and my hormones did everything in their power to protect the pregnancy and keep it where it was - which is why its taken so long and I haven't miscarried myself. Knowing there was no baby is a big help, but the loss of the potential of what could have been is another thing. This baby was wanted, and we're both devastated that things have happened this way. But at least now, i feel as though I can cry and grieve and start to get my head around whats happened.
Game over - I'm not pregnant anymore. If there was a soul, then I know that its now at peace.
Thanks everyone.
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