Sexual Health Forum

Posted: 16 July 2007 at 5:18pm | IP Logged

Not a snow balls chance in hell is what my answer to that would be, pmsl.

We all have some fantasy.....ask him would he have a 3 some with another man ??? I would love to see his reaction.

I think if my dh was with another woman (even with me there) its cheating.

May-be he was only chancing his arm, I don't believe for one second it's you.

I really wouldn't worry.

Posted: 16 July 2007 at 5:44pm | IP Logged

Bringing another person into the bedroom is a very big thing in a relationship. Does not mean that anyone is cheating, nor should it be viewed that way. It can be a very exciting and loving experience, but can only work if trust is there, and the relationship is strong. It would also be important to chose the other person together, and to make sure before anything happens the guidelines are clear for all (ie who can kiss who.. touch who.. etc)

I have in the past brought females into a past relationship, because Im greedy ha ha I wanted it and he'd have been mad to refuse lol It was made clear what they could do together and what they couldnt, and they both stuck by that. I found the experience to be extremely fun, so much so that one lass was a big part of my life for 2 years and would on occassion join us.

However, after me and my ex split up (I continued to see this lass for a further 6 months ha ha) he admitted tome that he felt really jealous when we were in bed together, all of us. He said that I seemed to relax more with her, and find her more pleasing. This was not true, it was just a highly different kind of experience, and I was very satisfied by him. I also admitted that on occassions I worried that he found her more attractive than me. he said this was never the case, he did not feel at all attracted to her. We both confided and said had either of us had known this at the time we'd have stopped what we were doing. It is so easy for something like this to drive a wedge into the strongest of relationships.

If you were to try it, you must be at all times happy, and must be confident enough to stop something your not happy with. You must also be able to trust your partner and be able to talk about exactly how you felt afterwards. Letting something happen you didnt like couldnt really damage the relationship. Like say if he was to stroke her leg and at the time you were uncomfortable, but let it continue. It could afterwards course problems.

Anyway, my initial response is, if you are wondering if you are not good enough, then it isnt the right thing for you both to do. You should be thinking of it as exciting.. not a top up for him!

Posted: 18 February 2008 at 3:05pm | IP Logged

I also agree that a lot of men fantasise about this. I think you must need to have an incredibly strong heart to even consider doing this. I'm not saying it's wrong, takes all kinds to make the world go round, but I for one couldn't stomach the thought of my hubby making love to anyone else but me.

If you aren't comfortable with his suggestion, DON'T do it.