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OMG, night from hell - long, sorry Topic: OMG, night from hell - long, sorry

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offline MrGreedylookalike
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Posted: 08 September 2005 at 8:04am | IP Logged Quote MrGreedylookalike

AAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!

Had a terrible night last night with Ellie last night - we had to put her to bed at 6.30pm becuase she was so knackered - she woke up 3 times before 9.30pm and we managed to get her back to sleep.. she woke at 11.30pm so I fed her and she slept till 1am and then wouldn't go back to sleep till 3.30am!!  she was spitting and pulling her dummy out and then crying -  we tried everything, ignoring her, sitting with her, DH was pushing her round in the pram downstairs, bonjela - the worst thing is is that I don't think there was anything wrong with her (not that I wish there was), she just can't settle herself back to sleep - I eventually bf'd her and she went to sleep but I'm certain she wasn't hungry so I hate doing that...

do you think maybe I'm not feeding her enough?  during the day she has 3 bfs and one bottle of formula before bed (only drinks 4oz tops) and either half rusk or veg at dinner time and baby rice for tea... then she has either 2 or 3 bfs in the night.  Altho when she woke in the night, she didn't seem hungry, just awake! 

I don't think she's teething or in pain but she does move round the cot quite a bit and I don't know if this wakes her?  She also trumps a lot...

She's only been doing this waking/unsettled thing for a few nights - of course, she's always woken in the night but only for a feed and I would just feed her and she'd go straight back down..

She doesn't go to sleep easily in the day and is so knackered by 6.30pm, she usually falls asleep with her bottle and doesn't drink much - altho maybe that is because it is only a couple of hours after her tea - but can't keep her up any later!!!!

Sorry it's so long but I'm totally fed up and feel clueless at all this.....I just want some sleep - even if we could go back to the 2 or 3 night feeds, I'd be grateful!!  ANY IDEAS?????

 

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offline MrGreedylookalike
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Posted: 08 September 2005 at 8:07am | IP Logged Quote MrGreedylookalike

AAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!

Had a terrible night last night with Ellie last night - we had to put her to bed at 6.30pm becuase she was so knackered - she woke up 3 times before 9.30pm and we managed to get her back to sleep.. she woke at 11.30pm so I fed her and she slept till 1am and then wouldn't go back to sleep till 3.30am!!  she was spitting and pulling her dummy out and then crying -  we tried everything, ignoring her, sitting with her, changed bum, gave water, took her sheet off her (it was hot), DH was pushing her round in the pram downstairs, bonjela - the worst thing is is that I don't think there was anything wrong with her (not that I wish there was), she just can't settle herself back to sleep - I eventually bf'd her and she went to sleep but I'm certain she wasn't hungry so I hate doing that...

do you think maybe I'm not feeding her enough?  during the day she has 3 bfs and one bottle of formula before bed (only drinks 4oz tops) and either half rusk or veg at dinner time and baby rice for tea... then she has either 2 or 3 bfs in the night.  Altho when she woke in the night, she didn't seem hungry, just awake! 

I don't think she's teething or in pain but she does move round the cot quite a bit and I don't know if this wakes her?  She also trumps a lot...

She's only been doing this waking/unsettled thing for a few nights - of course, she's always woken in the night but only for a feed and I would just feed her and she'd go straight back down..

She doesn't go to sleep easily in the day and is so knackered by 6.30pm, she usually falls asleep with her bottle and doesn't drink much - altho maybe that is because it is only a couple of hours after her tea - but can't keep her up any later!!!!

Sorry it's so long but I'm totally fed up and feel clueless at all this.....I just want some sleep - even if we could go back to the 2 or 3 night feeds, I'd be grateful!!  ANY IDEAS?????

 

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offline Vickimom
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Posted: 08 September 2005 at 8:15am | IP Logged Quote Vickimom

Have you got a spare bedroom, that way baby and dh could be in one room and you in another, that way you get rest, and he can bring her through when she is hungry!  and he can have his sleep the next day, if this is possible.  Also just becaise she trumps alot doesn't mean that she doean't have trapped wind.  Of course the other option is she might be too full.  I know i can't sleep with a bloated belly!  I have no idea really, but it's just thigs to try and when you are desperate you'll try anything!  HTH and if they do't work, with loads of love!
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offline MrGreedylookalike
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Posted: 08 September 2005 at 8:22am | IP Logged Quote MrGreedylookalike

ooops, posted this twice for some reason!!!  (I edited the first one!)

thanks vicki but ellie is in her own room and our house isn't huge so I can still hear her!! - and dh has to get up for work so I can't ask him really....

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offline Dizie
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Posted: 08 September 2005 at 8:24am | IP Logged Quote Dizie

Greedy - I'm having the exact same problem with Ella. She's never slept for longer than 3.5 to 4 hours at a time, but has always gone back to sleep quite quickly - until monday night!!!

She too used to have 2 or 3 feeds in a night so I dropped her lunch time fruit and started to give her supper at about 6pm. Just a few spoons of baby cereal. This has stopped the hunger, but now she's waking up and not going back off again - its doing my head in!!

Last night, I put her in bed with me - I just couldn't cope anymore.. And she slept until 6!!! Little troll...

I just don't know what to suggest... Just want you to know that you're not alone and I'm sharing your pain!!!

Tonight, I'm going to leave some music on in Ella's room all night. She has piano music to go to sleep (v relaxing) and I'm wondering if the familer sound might help her sooth back to sleep.

I'll try anything!!! If I have a break through, I'll let you know... Good luck hun....

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offline MrGreedylookalike
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Posted: 08 September 2005 at 8:44am | IP Logged Quote MrGreedylookalike

aw thanks dizie...

god it's such a nightmare!!!!  are you bf?  does ella have a dummy? 

WHY WON'T THEY SLEEP???????? 

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offline Lynie
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Posted: 08 September 2005 at 8:55am | IP Logged Quote Lynie

Oh!

Em is the same- and I must admit during the night tthe only thing that
gets her back is to give her a wee comfort feed for 5 mins and don't
talk to her or change her nappy.

With Alex I tried to get him to put himself back to sleep- but after him
really waking up and then not being able to get back to sleep myself
I've realised this time a wee 5 min breastfeed works better.

They are still to small for controlled crying- and when you bf during the
night those lovely sleep hormones are released enabling you to get
right back into the second stage of sleep... does that help any?
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offline Lynie
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Posted: 08 September 2005 at 8:58am | IP Logged Quote Lynie

Could be teeth too- or perhaps you should up her solids?
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offline MumSam
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Posted: 08 September 2005 at 9:00am | IP Logged Quote MumSam

Hi Greedy, I can't offer you any solutions I am afraid, as you know we are pretty much in the same boat.  You are so not clueless though, this is my third and I am having the same problems as you, so please don't feel it's because Ellie is your first baby.

I have to say we had our best nights last night ever.  Not sure if it's because we are being really strict on routine at the moment in the build up for me returning to work or if it's because I took Ols swimming yesterday which always seems to chill him out.  All I can do is tell you what I have read in my attempt to get some sleep and what is slowly working for us.

Having read numerous articles on sleep and night wakings for babies it seems that the amount of sleep a baby will have at night is directly linked to the amount they have during the day too (I certainly found with Fran if she didn't have 2 good sleeps during the day then she would be dreadful at night).  If a baby doesn't have between 2 and 3 naps during the day they become over stimulated and wake at night as their brains don't switch off.  Not sure where you are meant to get in a third nap apart from maybe in the back of the car on the way to the supermarket but we do manage at least 2 now.  Also, most articles say do not expect a breastfed baby to sleep threw before 6mnths old (we still have a few weeks until this magic age, but as all babies develop differently some may do it at 5mnths others not until 8mnths).  There are a number of reasons for this; we produce the most prolactin at night (yes bloody annoying) so breastfed babies feed at night to keep your milk supply up.  Babies digest breastmilk more efficently than they do formula milk so need more to stop them being hungry.  So even if you mix feed (add in a formula feed) they will still wake to breastfeed because they still need your milk supply to be kept up.  After having considered all that I decided that the best I could hope for was 2 4hr blocks of sleep which for me would be a great improvement as I normally get a 2hr sleep if I am lucky and maybe another one or two 2hr sleeps if I am really really lucky.

This is what I do with Ols, I am not suggesting you follow what I do or feed Ellie the same amount as Ols has been on solids for a month now since I was ill and my milk supply dropped.  But it might help to see what someone else does.

Ollie wakes up between 7 and 8am in the morning.  Sometimes he will lay and play for at least half an hour.  When he first wakes up I don't rush in there until he starts complaining I leave him to play and wake up ( I let him lay and play after every nap if he is happy so he sees his cot as a safe happy place).  I then take him back to bed with me and feed him.

We get up and Ols has baby porridge with nectarine or 1 and a half rusks with half a banana mashed in.  He also has some water with a tiny bit of fresh apple juice in a cup.

Between 9am and 10am Ols goes back to bed.  He is always awake when I put him down.  Sometimes he will cry for a few minutes to lodge his complaint but mostly now he will just settle and go to sleep.  He has a mobile with lights and music that he loves to watch.  He will sleep from between 1hr and 1hr 30mins.

He has lunch at 12pm and then I breastfeed him afterwards.

By about 130pm he is ready to go back to bed.  He will sleep again for about an hour to an hour and a half.

At 3pm he has a yoghurt and a drink of water.

5pm is dinner time and he again has a drink with this.  Sometimes he will be really hungry at dinner time and I have found he can't eat the solids quick enough to stop him being hungry so I breastfeed him before giving his solids, if I don't he will get very upset then we end up in a pickle.  It doesn't make any difference to Ols whether I feed before or after his solids, maybe because breastmilk is thinner so doesn't fill him up like a formula feed would.

Ols then has a bath and I breastfeed him then a story.  By 630pm he is drooping and can't stay awake any longer.  This was the worst time for Ollie going to sleep as I always had to feed him to sleep.  I stopped that by gently waking him then reading him a story.  It took 2 days to break the habit.  He loves his story so now doesn't fall asleep after his feed because he knows he is going to have a story.  The first 5 times we put him to bed awake he cried.  Keith went into him ever 5 mins so he didn't feel abandoned.  After watching Ols Keith noticed that he wasn't really crying he was more moaning and trying to get himself to sleep.  I hated this process and couldn't listen to the crying so I went in the garden and did some gardening or I put the radio on out the back and did the ironing, anything to not have to hear it.

Ollie then sometimes wakes after an hour or 2 in bed.  Keith again goes back up and puts on his mobile and settles him back down.  We don't pick him up just reasure him then leave him.  Mostly he will go back to sleep at this point, occasionally he has got upset and I have given in and fed him.

What we have noticed is if I am around he will want more milk, if I go out he isn't at all bothered about not having milk.  If I go into him at night he wants milk if Keith goes he will settle better but if he hears or sees me at all then I have to feed him.  Last night he woke at 830pm and Keith settled him.  He woke then at 11pm I fed him and he went straight back to sleep.  I never talk to him in the night or change a nappy unless I have to.  He then woke at 230am for a feed then 530am and eventually got up at 710am.  For us that is such an improvement.  It has taken us about 3wks to get to this stage, which is a vast improvement on what it was. 

Ols is also in his own room and I put him in a sleeping bag for every nap and sleep as it stops him being so mobile.  Otherwise he rolls around the cot and gets himself stuck.  At night he has a sleep suit on and no vest at the moment as the weather has been so mild and his sleeping bag.  If his hands feel cold when I feed him in the night I put his sheet over him.  He likes to rub his face on his cloth so he always has that in bed with him too.  He also has a little tiny pollar bear he likes to chew and Sulley his disney shop monster he chose himself.  I also put a few drops of Avent sleep drops on his sheet.  Not convinced they do anything to help him sleep but they smell nice.

All I can suggest is that you try and get as much rest as possible when you can Greedy.  I know it's not easy and how crap it feels but this stage doesn't last forever I promise.

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offline MUM2MAXTOM
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Posted: 08 September 2005 at 9:20am | IP Logged Quote MUM2MAXTOM

I feel for you, Greedy as we went through the exact same thing with Max at this age.

The thing that settled him was having a good routine and winding down time near bedtime.  I was adamant that my second child will be in a routine from birth and we've stuck to it.

I admit we also had a night of controlled crying when he was about 1 month old.  I know that not everyone agrees with it, but it worked for us.  We never left him crying for a more than 2 to 3 minutes.  My husband and I took it in turns going into the room and soothing him.  We never spoke to him or took him out of the cot.  We have chosen not to take him into bed at night, only for a cuddle when he wakes up in the morning.

Tom is a fantasic sleeper.  He goes down at 7:30/8pm.  He wakes for an early morning feed around 4am/5am and sleeps again until 7am.  I breastfeed him in bed at night, but never fall asleep with him in my arms.

I hope you find a solution soon as sleep deprivation is soul destroying.

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