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Posted: 20 May 2007 at 12:08pm | IP Logged

It's so hard to deal with.

My gran died yesterday at 4.30pm.  My Mum phoned in the day to see if I wanted to go up and see her in hospital in the afternoon as she was just admitted to hospital the night before.  I said I couldn't, as I've got a gastric infection just now which is really sore and gran's really vulnerable and prone to any infection going.  I said I'd go up once I was better if she was still in hospital...

Got a call from my wee brother, saying she died at 4.30pm.  My mum was the last person to see her alive.  My Dad and Auntie Renee (grans only son and daughter) are kicking themselves as they were going up at night.  My Papa was bowling, as he'd been looking after gran at home for the past month, and the Dr's advised him to get some fresh air.  So he didn't even know!

Russell my bro asked if I wanted to go up and see her.  I had such a hard think and cry and after a lot of tears I didn't really want to remember gran in that state. 

I love her so much and it was horrible to see her deteriorating after a bad fall in the shower in 2002.  Her diabeties got bad and she found it hard to get words out.  She turned 80 in February.  We got her a photo memory book of photos of her and papa at their wedding, of my mum and dad, auntie and uncle, 2 cousins, me and russell and lots of photos of travis their 1st great grandchild.

My eyes are all puffy today and probably will be tomorrow too, I think I'm allergic to crying! lol.  Her funeral will be on Thursday or Friday.  I have 2 big exams next week and reallly can't seem to focus at all...

R.I.P. Catherine Wilson (nee Paton) You taught me so much and I love you.

Posted: 20 May 2007 at 12:27pm | IP Logged

Aww Lorna im really sorry to hear ur sad news

Will give u a huge hug wen i c u on Saturday (if ur still going out, i understand if not)

U will do great in ur exams but if u feel u cant cope explain to ur tutors, im sure they'll understand - i missed both days in placement this week cause i just couldnt face people after my auntie died

Wish i could take ur pain away

Posted: 20 May 2007 at 12:45pm | IP Logged

Lorna, I can't take your pain away, but at least you have the knowledge taht he went quickly at the end.  Mum at the moment is trying to persuade my gran to come and live up ere where she can take care of her, and she can get to know the great grandchildren.  I really feel like my grandad missed out, as did I.  Which is why I am making the most of the kids wanting to go and visit fil while he is ill!

Posted: 20 May 2007 at 1:07pm | IP Logged

    Lorna, so sorry to hear your news. I still remember the day my nana died and thats 20 years ago. I was a bit older than you and it was my first close relative to die. She was 86. My other nana died 18 months ago. She was 96. I was lucky to have her around for so long.

     Cry as much as you like, you're allowed to. I still have the odd cry for my grandparents as I remember the good times I had with them during my childhood and as I grew older. I regret that my grandad died a few months before Kirstin was born so never met his great grandchild .

     Please make sure you tell college about what has happened. They will make allowances for you. Sending you lots of love and kisses and you know where I am if you need anything Nicky xxxxxx

Posted: 20 May 2007 at 7:59pm | IP Logged

Oh Lorna! I don't have anything else to add, but just wanted to let you know how sorry I am to hear your news. Take care of yourself, and do make sure you talk to your college.

Big hugs, Rachel xxxx