Pregnancy Forums

Posted: 29 May 2007 at 1:01pm | IP Logged

Hello, don't know how much of a rarity male members are on here as I've not yet negotiated all of the forum yet but I'll get there eventually.  My name is Barry, I live in Fife and I'm on here because my wife has had SPD/chronic pain since the birth of our last child 4 years ago.

I suspect our story will be very familiar with the majority of SPD sufferers with the now seemingly obligatory amount of ignorance and lack of understanding from practically every medical professional we encountered before, during and immediately after the birth.  My wife's pain, feelings of isolation and frustration with her GP's handling of the situation along with guilt and sadness at how this condition has affected the family and her ability to join in with "normal" mummy things are probably pretty common too.  She can't actually log in here as it upsets her so much to read about other people in similar predicaments. 

Two weeks ago we learned of another lady in the town who has been diagnosed with SPD and who apparently has been told that she MUST have a section. God knows we wish her well but when we discovered that this protocol has come from the same hospital that subjected my wife to such a traumatic labour we decided to confront a part of our past we'd sooner not (I don't like remembering my son's birthdate at all) and she got in touch with a no win no fee medical claims firm.  I'm not sure what the upshot of it will be, and we're not "in it for the money" but feel we stand a better chance of getting answers by using this firm. We'll keep you posted.

Anyway, long story short, I gave up my (reasonably) well paid job to help out at home after losing some time from work with stress and only now feel up to the challenge of a new career. 

This August I go back to college to finish what I started many years ago and gain my HND in TV studies (got my eye on a career in wedding videography) and part of my course involves directing a factual piece.  Providing my tutors agree i'd very much like to film a documentary piece about SPD and would very much appreciate hearing from anyone who'd be willing to appear on camera and tell their story to the world.  Despite this being a college project I will be chasing support (and possibly funding) from a broadcaster.  However, as I'm not gaurunteed financial support I will have to focus on Scottish based sufferers initially but my aim is to reach as wide an audience as possible in an effort to educate the general public about this condition and perhaps galvanise support from relevant authorities to bring about wider recognition of SPD.

If you've managed to stay awake long enough to read this far thankyou, I hope this is something you'd like to be involved with.

Barry

Posted: 29 May 2007 at 1:12pm | IP Logged

YES YES YES

I was diagnosed with SPD at 20 weeks pregnant and used cruthes and later a wheelchair during my pregnancy. I was in constant pain and although my GP was quite understanding the consultants I was under were useless to put it mildly.

I was hospitalised from 37 weeks, bed bound and on morphine and had an emergancy c section at 38 weeks.

My SPD went straight away but then returned when my son was 5 months. It got back to the stage that I required a walking stick and I missed out on a lot of fun with my young child.

I tried all sorts but have now found a chiropractor who has given me my life back and I can do most of what I could do before (although I do still have pain over 2 years after the birth of my son).

I am trying to do all I can to raise awareness of SPD so I'd be happy to help.

I have written 2 articles for madmums on this - see here and here

Posted: 29 May 2007 at 3:02pm | IP Logged

Hi Barry,

Jen here (Darvel).  Glad you found the site and I promise, I'll try to phone tonight... you'll find that there are quite a few of us on here who are fellow sufferers so hopefully you'll get all the material/info that you need. You're not the only male on here as we have a couple - don't we guys?? (I don't know all of them and it hard to tell from the sign on names)

Will Cherie be coming on? we have a quiz on a Tuesday night that either of you would be welcome to join in with (usually starts about 9ish and decends into chaos about 10mins later). 

Anyway, welcome to this madworld, and again I promise I'll phone tonight..

Jen

Posted: 29 May 2007 at 3:23pm | IP Logged

Hi there Jen, starting to worry that I'll earn myself a reputation for trawling message boards looking for incapacitated women! 

I actually found this site a couple of weeks ago, approached the admin prior to posting and had intended to get on here last week but the lurgy got the better of me. 

Certainly seems to have a bit more life about it than the other forum and I'm interested in learning more about the buddy schemes I see people involved in. Defo something i'd want to look into for the doc.

Not sure if cherie will be coming on or not, she still has difficulty just reading about others in a similar position, although I'm sure she'd benefit from the supportive nature of the site. We've only really started to confront this thing now and she's finding strength thru following up the legal thing (tell you more later) and this would appear to be my way of dealing with it.

madzwalker- thanks for the response, just read thru your story (all seems scarily familiar) and will perhaps pm at some point if that's ok. Still at the early stages with the research and there's so much I want to get across it's a little intimidating. Needs done tho.

Ach well, best go as work beckons  Speak to you this evening Jen

Barry

Posted: 29 May 2007 at 3:46pm | IP Logged

hiya and welcome to madmums,

ive never suffered spd myself but im sure you will get a lot of support here.

Posted: 29 May 2007 at 7:44pm | IP Logged

hi barry and welcome,

what your doing in support of your wife and family is fantastic and im sure you will both have much support here on madmums. i have not suffered with spd myself but would be interested in following your story if you could keep us updated with it. i hope you find the answers you are looking for.

take care,lauren and bronze

Posted: 29 May 2007 at 8:06pm | IP Logged

Thanks for the words of support from you both, just logged in for a wee minute while I hunt down some online facts and figures. Not easy.

Quick update. Had a very encouraging email from two of the country's leading experts on SPD. They are due to release their report into the condition soon, looking forward to reading it and hopefully being able to talk to them about their findings.

Posted: 31 May 2007 at 9:24pm | IP Logged

hi, although i am not in scotland i am more than happy to help. i have a 6 week old daughter and whilst i was pregnant with her i developed spd. i had to fight very hard to get any kind of relief for the pain. i even ended up with having to be helped off the sofa by paramedics administering entonox only to be offered paracetomol by the hospital then nothing! i managed to get sufficient pain relief in the end and am now being told to wean off the drugs which is no easy feat when you are still in pain and have a very demanding life.

i have been treated as nothing any better than a drug abuser and was at the hands of a gp/dr/midwife and their own judgements on such a regular basis that it's very hard to come to terms with the fact that i did get meds in the end. it was that or watch me become a fruit loop and be lost forever. in fact i'm fighting to keep my head above water today.

i do hope that somehow the pain and the cost of that pain resol;ves and improves for you and your family very soon. i am still counting the cost even now. wishing you comfort and cyber hugs to you all

Posted: 31 May 2007 at 10:00pm | IP Logged

chappiesgirl,

sounds like you had a very rough time during and just before delivery. Can't have been at all pleasant. What was the rest of the pre natal care like for you? In terms of advice and support from the mw/gp, did they have any words of wisdom to offer you at all?

Posted: 01 June 2007 at 9:25am | IP Logged

Barry feel free to contact me whenever you want. I'd really love to help.