Health Forums

Posted: 09 June 2007 at 12:48pm | IP Logged

Yep, the inevitable has happened (and as my Counsellor predicted) I had a breakdown at work (of all places) yesterday.  It was horrendous.  My work has been sloppy lately due to a) being clinically depressed, b) feeling emotionally and physically exhausted and c) stopping my medication (unplanned) for a week.

Good points are that now my boss knows (and is shocked and surprised), but is being very supportive, and I feel like a burden has been lifted.  The boss said he'd never have guessed and chose me for the job as I was the best candidate.  It's just lately people have been commenting on my lack of focus.  Well hey, lack of concentration and focus are two symptoms of depression, I held my hands up to that one.

He asked me to talk him through my day so I did:  Get up, rush around getting kids ready, drop them off at nursery, go to work, pick up boys from nursery, feed and bath 'em, clean and tidy the house and in bed by 9pm!  He was flabbergasted and asked how do I cope to which I replied 'evidently not well'.

Got told to take the rest of the day off, but I didn't want to.  Instead I worked the rest of the day, drove home and phoned Kev in floods of tears.  He'd just got back from a course in Leeds and had to sort himself out so I had a quicknap before having to pick the boys up from nursery.  My head hurt.

Went round to mum's who took one look at me and knew something was wrong.  Kev came round, floodgates open again....in fact, I think my tear ducts are dried up! 

Work offered me long term sick to which I said no chance.  All I would do is watch Jeremy Kyle and eat crisps while slowly getting more and more fat and depressed.  How would I benefit from that?  So I've said thanks, but no thanks, I'm seeing a counsellor and am back on the anti-depressants so I will kick this affliction.

Instead I'm taking two weeks leave in August when the boys are away to re-evaluate my life and recharge the ole batteries.

Posted: 09 June 2007 at 1:00pm | IP Logged

numpty...it happens chica.  Only so much you can take, and it is tough going on your own..running around like a blue bummed fly all day everyday with no let up.

Going to bop you on the nose for not taking your meds!  Going to bop you on the nose for not sending me a text, or saying phone me!

Glad youve spoken to your boss..sounds like a good bloke.  They will give you the support you need..and if they are offering you time off..FFS take it chica!  You wont sit around eating crisps and watching the telly..gives you a chance to get your batteries charged up etc.

I know you are taking holiday time..but if work is offering you time off..take it and sort your noggin out.

Youve had a lot on your plate, and still do...it DOES GET EASIER..trust me babes it does.  Right now, you are in the same place I was when I lived in london chica.  Its bloomin hard work, knackering etc..but you will get through it..

Right, lecture over...hmmm how many bops on the nose is that!

Oh yeah...if we get germany...you coming for a visit...only cost you 15squid cos well 'indulge' you over..woohooo

Posted: 09 June 2007 at 1:29pm | IP Logged

Zoe I know exactly what you are going through. I had a breakdown very similar to that when I was 19 and it was awful (and I had much less going on in my life than you have) however once work knew it was much much easier and they really supported me. I did take 2 weeks off on doctors orders which helped me get my head together and sort out my meds.

See your GP and counsellor and let them know what has happened but dont worry, its perfectly normal and you'll be back to yourself in no time.

Allow yourself time to heal and remember I'm here if you need to talk or need a break!

Posted: 09 June 2007 at 1:51pm | IP Logged

True as always, Steph.

It was silly of me to stop, but it was a honest mistake, I had miscalculated my next prescription so there was a gap.  I hit an all time low and felt life couldn't go on again.  Only Kev and two of my work colleagues knew.  All three have been nagging me to death to go back on em (and they say women nag!)

All I want to do is sleep for a looong time.  My back aches, I'm eating for comfort and binge drink too much at the weekends.  I can cry for England.

I snap at the kids but they never let up.  I'm not just saying that for an excuse, but it's constant, made worse by the fact they want to murder each other all the time.

What's worse is just found out that Kev is going to Qatar (middle East) for 4 months next year.

Moan, moan, moan again!  Sorry. x

Posted: 09 June 2007 at 3:26pm | IP Logged

Chica..welcome to the world of a forces relationship.  Joes off to afghan in march, and is basically away every weekend until september!  Hes got a falklands thing to fit in before christmas, as well as shed loads of courses to do starting in september.

Your back is going to ache..cos your doing tooo much.  Kids are going to play up, cos thats what they are trained to do..little monsters.  You are going to be tired..cos there is no time off for good behaviour.

Keep taking your meds..or else ill bop you on the nose.  His det of four months wont be as bad as you think..ill send you the website addy that you will need.  You are ENTITLED to free blueys from the post office..but get him to get shedloads from work just in case the post office gets funny.  Give over on the comfort eating...eat when you are hungry...and no snacking...as for the binge drinking...well blow off steam when you can..but dont go nuts chica..thats probably why you are knackered for the rest of the week!!  As for crying..pull your sox up, wipe your eyes, blow them bogies out...and start living your life babes.

Life is worth living, youve got two gorgeous ratbags, a place of your own, a good job...and im loathe to say it, so dont you dare tell him lol..a nice geezer to snuggle up to...jobs done birdy!  You are doing great..give yourself some credit girlie..dont let it beat you..youve never let anything beat you before so dont start now.

Love you chica your my bestest mate in the whole world..but im still going to bop you on the nose!!

Posted: 09 June 2007 at 6:34pm | IP Logged

   Just wanted to send you big hugs and let you know we are all here for you xxxxxx

Posted: 10 June 2007 at 6:49pm | IP Logged

I haven't any advice I'm afraid, but didn't want to read and run. So sending you big hugs