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Posted: 26 June 2007 at 11:27am | IP Logged

I went through a really bad time with my ex. He was abusive.

Now Im with my new partner Im really struggling to get close to him. Things were fantastic in the begining. The past never bothered me, I thought I was getting on with my life but now Im strugglin.

I cant lie in bed with him and the second he starts touching me or kissing me I panic. I hate feeling like this. I love him to bits.

Could it just be the hormones that are making me feel this way.

I am seeing a counseller at the min and its not helping the nightmears have started up again. I just want to put it behind me and move on.

Posted: 26 June 2007 at 12:04pm | IP Logged

Im not sure if she specialises in abused women but she said she was physically abused by her husband so she can symapthise.

I have talked to mark about what is happening and he knows how I feel. I dont know how he feels because he doesnt tell me. I try to get him to talk because it cant be easy for him to but he just says he is ok with everything.

I hope I feel better soon.

Posted: 19 July 2007 at 10:03am | IP Logged

aww huni i dont know what to say  i hope things get easier for you, i agree with madz, talking is the best way to deal with things, not to block them out! i think you need to have a chat with mark, and try and get him to open up a little more, so that you both know where you stand with what happened, (if you know what i mean). also i think you need to be sure that the specialist that is working with you is the right one, she may of been abused herself, but the things that happened to you may not of happened to her. i would look into this kirsty hun

if you ever want to talk just let me know.

i hope this helps a little

thinking of you hun xxxx

Posted: 19 July 2007 at 10:42am | IP Logged

The trick is chick, talk and keep talking.  It will take time to recover from something like that, mine was mental cruelty rather than physical abuse.  Took me years to get over it..i still have the odd moment but nothing major that I cant handle.

It does get better, but its a case of learning to trust again, which is a major issue especially if you have been hurt before.  Not all men are evil swines that need locking up, there are a few good eggs out there (but dont tell them that cos their egos get big).  Give yourself time, talk it through not only with your counsellor but with your blokey chap, get him to open up.  Keep stressing that its not him that you are afraid of, which its not, its just in your brain locked up in a corner there is still the thoughts there chica, they will fade in time, but it takes time and a lot of trust, love and work to get through it.

Your hormones wont help cos they send you doolally tap at the best of times, and the increased surges of them will make you feel more sensitive to everything, i dont mean that in a wimpy way or a patronising way or anything..but hormones are a real pain in the bum.

Keep your chin up chick youll be fine