Pregnancy Forums

Posted: June 27 2007 at 7:57pm | IP Logged

Don't think I ever saw the same midwife twice for any of my pregnancies. They all pretty much treated me OK while I wasn't presenting any problems for them to deal with.

When I was pregnant with Joe I was given a very high risk of having a baby with Down's syndrome, and the scan showed 'potential serious abnormalities' (whatever that is supposed to mean) with concerns about his heart and bowel. I was told that I would have an amniocentisis. It was presented as though that was what needed to happen, no-one told me that I actually had a choice as to whether to have the test. When dh and I got home and discussed it, and looked in to what was invloved, we decided that we didn't want it, and that was when the midwives stopped being so supportive. I was made to feel like a completely irresponsible mother for even considering not having the test. They said that I was selfish for not considering the needs of my two existing children, and how would they cope with a disabled sibling? It would affect the rest of their lives as well as mine and a disabled child is a huge responsibility for the whole family to bear. I was also told that the consultants recommend these things for a reason and I could not be guaranteed good care if I went against their advice! As far as we were concerned though, I personally couldn't have an abortion, so what was the point in having the test? Apparently, I was told that we needed to be prepared for what we were facing. It was never presented that a risk factor is just that, a risk. It's not a certainty, and while the factor may have been quite high, it had a corresponding factor that the baby would be fine. I stuck to my guns and didn't have the test, so was then told that I needed extra scans, and was told how much extra money I was costing by having these. I also had a very black picture painted about Joe's future at just about every appointment and scan. One woman might as well have just come out and said "why on earth didn't you just have an abortion?" as that was clearly what she was thinking. The only supportive health professional I had was the gp after we moved (when I was 5 months pg) and from moving, I had all my appointments (except scans) just with him. He sent me to a physio for the spd, and was sympathetic to my discomfort (although a consultant referral never came through in time so I never got any actual help with this). The midwives in the hospital were ok, but I did get tutted at when I explained what postition I wanted to give birth in due to the spd, and I was home again 5 hours after he was born (perfectly healthy, incidentally), so they didn't have much time to annoy me!

Sorry, rambled there! But to summarise, midwives were fine while I fitted into their day with relatively routine pregnancies, but as soon as I did what I wanted to do, rather than what I was told, it was a different matter.

Posted: June 27 2007 at 8:11pm | IP Logged

Not a good quetsion for me!  I don't remember my ones with the first 3 kids except for the fact that they were here every day until 10-14 days and then I never saw much of my hv! lol

However my named midwife for these last 2 was excellent, my problem was taht she broke her arm and I ended up with chaotic treatment.  As for supportive, while breast feeding my last one, due to lack of mw's turning up at my door, I ended up taking Winston off teh breast as the mw that came up to help me made me feel so useless and spoke to me like a 5 yr old!  Without explaining anything that could help.  All I had asked about was giving Winston a test weigh, so that I knew he was having enough milk.  If i had been re-advised about the quality of milk, then I wold have been able to feed him longer.  So in a way I resent the mw's I had, but wish I had been able to access the computer much better as the support on here would have helped me keep going!  The hospital mw's on the other hand were fantastic, even if you could see they were overworked!

Posted: June 27 2007 at 8:24pm | IP Logged

The MWs with my first two pregnancies were really good - very supportive. Infact, the midwife who was giving me acupuncture for my SPD actually came to my house a few times on her way home from work, and did extra acupuncture sessions.

With Cameron, the community mws were fantastic - couldn't fault them. Unfortunately, Cameron decided to come at 37 weeks, so I couldn't have the home birth I was hoping for - and got made to go into hosp as my waters broke. Everything went downhill from there. The first mw was really good, and let me stay on my feet all the time and do whatever I wanted. Unfortunately, there was a shift change two hours before he made his entrance, and there was a student with her. I felt a lot of pressure, and asked to be checked to see how much further dilated I was - big mistake! I was 8cm - the midwife refused to let me back off the bed again. I wanted to give birth standing up so repeatedly asked to get back off, but was told I couldn't. My labour was in my back but they made me stay on my back - I was literally begging to get up and they wouldn't let me. A totally positive experience was wrecked. They they told me to push - and although I told them I wasn't ready, they insisted I should. I said to dh things weren't ready, tried one push (it was total agony) so I refused. They then said "Oh sorry Kim - thought you were dilated and we could see babys head, but it was the lip of your cervix!" I was furious!

Anyway - sorry to rattle on. The care I received straight after left a lot to be desired too. Makes me really angry when I think back - there is no excuse for it.

Posted: June 27 2007 at 9:34pm | IP Logged

With my first I had so many different midwives and I was so disappointed with my care, it was terrible, I had other complications and nobody seemed to understand what I was saying. Much less how to treat it.

With my second PG I got SPD really badly, and was on crutches towards the end along with a pelvic support belt and a tubigrip, my midwife wasn't any good, and had very little knowledge of SPD but sent me to a physio anyway, My physio wanted me to go in a wheelchair at the end, but that just wasn't an option for me, I was pretty much on bed rest anyway, but I had stairgates on practically every door and a chair would never go through, so in the end they induced me because I couldn't walk and take care of my toddler.

I am already starting to feel the pressure of the SPD returning, and am scheduled to start physio again soon, I have a wonderful midwife this time who knows what she is doing, and I will have her all the way through. And the hospital I am at have speciualists in SPD and treatments as well as a very good knowledge of Hyperemesis (As I have already been admitted for this once this PG) So I am totally confident (so far) that this time will be different.

Posted: June 28 2007 at 12:13pm | IP Logged

I had no complications and had a very straight forward birth (I was induced but it was grand).

My doctor was the nicest man you could ever meet, he made me feel special considering her meets loads of women every day in the same condition. He made me feel like I was his most important patient.

The MW was very nice too, they knew I was a first time mum and gave loads of information.

The only thing is that I was left to my own devices and I hadn't a clue what I was doing, but in saying that they had other women to be looking after.

All in all it was a very nice experience and the next time I go tru it I hope every thing goes as well.