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Posted: 07 July 2007 at 1:49am | IP Logged

hey ladies

Its stupid oclock in the morning now and im worried sick.

My mum phoned me just before 11pm to say shed collapsed in the kitchen, cant remember what had happened but she when she came round she was covered in blood and she doesnt know where its coming from...but uncle ron had been over and helped to clean her up.  Now understandably I was livid and said phone an ambulance or get a taxi up to the hospital.  She point blank refused, she was slurring her words and wasnt making a lot of sense.   Now I then said I would phone NHS direct, and whatever they said she would do, of which she agreed.  So I phoned them and they said hospital now go..so I phoned her back and told her that they had said phone an ambulance...of which she point blank refused said she was fine blah di blah.  I phoned my uncle ron, who told me what state she was in when he got there..and she was a mess but refusing to go to hospital.

I gave her three choices, 1. uncle ron takes her to hospital..2. sharon watches the kids for me and i drive over and take her..or 3. i phone an ambulance..whatever way she WAS going to hospital..she went crazy at me called me all the names under the sun and point blank refused to go..so I hung up on her and phoned an ambulance.  Got through and explained everything to ambulance control, even explaining that she is liable to lie and pretend to be fine and to ignore what she says until she is examined etc.  They said duly noted and paramedics will be informed. 

Phoned her back, she said she was going for a shower to clean herself up.  I went nuts at her..FFS mother you were unconscious you are NOT getting into the shower, the ambulance is on its way..leave lights on, front door unlocked do not eat or drink anything.  She went hysterical at me..said i was going to have her put away in a nut house..that they would call her crazy and have her put away.  I did explain to her that they would assess her at home and if needs be they would take her to hospital..if not needed then she would stay home.  Called me all the names under the sun, id opened up a can of worms, and various other not nice things..however as she ranted..blue flashy lights turned up outside her house..in 7mins and 16 seconds to be precise..so they deffo moved.

Ive phoned Joe, and his Sgt is sending him home tomorrow.  Ive emailed my dad to explain my actions so he wont get it all from mum.  I have no idea which hospital shes at..either stafford or the other one the far side of cannock.  Ive phoned the house a few times and there is no answer so Im guessing shes in hospital or casualty as we speak.

Ive phoned my uncle ron and aunt marion to let them know what ive done so they are relieved.  Im a bit shaky, but am fine, I just wish she would do as shes told and not go extreme.  I know I am right and I did the right thing..but still I know right now she hates my guts..so next week when or if she comes over could be interesting.

Cheers for this ladies.

Posted: 07 July 2007 at 7:10am | IP Logged

OMG as if you didn't have enough to cope with. You have done everything right...sometimes we have do things people don't want us to do, because it is the best possible outcome for them. I am sure your mum, dad uncle and aunty will thank you for you caring and responsible actions.

Take care and I hope yor mum is on the mend!

But Jeso...families are sent to try us!

Posted: 07 July 2007 at 8:36am | IP Logged

oh god,i know youve been having a tought time with her at yours but this must be so hard for you,especially when she isnt cooperating...

hope you get some news soon and your mum realises you were doing the best for her...

xxxx

Posted: 07 July 2007 at 12:32pm | IP Logged

Well....what a night.

I googled local hospitals and omg loads of them..so phone call after phonecall...finally tracked her down at a and e at stafford..bonus for me.  So that was at about 2am..phoned sharon who was still up and she came over and watched the girls..and i jumped in the car and went up to the hozzie.  Hmm seem to be there a lot lately lol.

Anyway, saw the receptionist..and was allowed straight through.  She was a complete mess.  Covered in blood, and generally kicking off.  I walked in and she launched at me.  She was having a go at everyone saying she was going to walk out she was fine etc etc.  However, she couldnt stand, couldnt stay awake, slurring her words yeah fine my backside. 

I stayed calm and kept telling her to calm down, give over, she wasnt going anywhere until a doctor had seen her..well that just set her off even more.  What sort of parent was I to leave the girls with a stranger...erm known sharon for 5 years..i was ill and unfit to drive and should be at home in bed..mum im fine if I wasnt I wouldnt be here...im not letting you stay here by yourself, just calm down.  Anyway..at 3am she got into a and e properly.  She was kicking off that shed been made to wait in the corridor...they are rebuilding a new a and e so everyone was in the corridor waiting..part and parcel of a and e..that and complaining about having to wait..mum its friday night what do you expect..calm down..she was being downright evil and bolshy, and i was very embarressed.  Anyway the male nurse that wheeled her through, well she was downright sarcastic..about time its disgraceful being made to wait..anyway said male nurse had been walking past us several times through the wait and had obviously heard what id been saying to her.  Anyway, he said, this is a and e, there are elderly patients in tonight, so no swearing, shouting and abusive attitudes please..mum then said..well im not saying anything..and then kicked off again..i told her to calm down and said male nurse said..sometimes we do wonder who is the parent and who is the child..smirked and walked off..i did try really hard not to smirk back. So that set her off, im the mother she has cancer she shouldnt be here..oh FFS mother give it a rest im fine.

The doc came through and saw her at 4am..had a poke and a prod, and said she just needed her nose needed steristrips put on, not to get them wet, yes she could go home as long as she had someone with her..and off he went.  He went through what happened..all she said was..well obviously i fell over..and that was it, so I then had to tell the doc what had happened.  He also said..well when you sober up in the morning just take it easy for 24 hours any probs and call an ambulance immediately...well red rag to a bull...ive only had two glasses of wine (she was reeking of booze, which is more than 2 glasses).  He pointed out to her, i dont think you have JUST had two glasses..and went off on his way.  So that was it..major kick off time and launching at me..kept my cool but was contemplating where the nearest home was to stick her in.

Anyway, girlie nurse comes through..oh hello steph how are you nice to see you looking better (same nurse as the one i saw when i went up)..well that set her off again..shes not fine, shes ill, seriously ill and shouldnt be here...mum im fine will you just do as your told for once in your life.  So said nurse cleaned her up, steristripped her nose and said right what are you going to do tonight, you need someone with you for the next 24 hours.  I said..shes coming home with me, and she said no im going home, i want to go to bed and talk to your dad, i cant relax at yours and i dont want to be there..so the nurse asked if she had anyone at home..she said yes her cat..of which I then lost it, as the nurse said thats not good enough, what about a neighbour to be with you..i live next door to a doctor so i can always get him..no, you need someone in the house with you.  Theres nothing wrong with me..im going home.  I lost it and said, well how you going to get home you havent got any money and no credit on your phone.  She said ill phone a taxi and they can take me home and then take me to a cash point..i lost it and said dont be daft..come home with me, joe is coming home on saturday now as he told his sgt what had happened and his sgt said, right you are going home tomorrow..so that set her off..who did i think i was for wrecking his career..erm not done that..joe told his snec, didnt ask to get sent home early his boss is sending him back end of. 

Needless to say I lost it at her, gave her 60 quid and told her to do what she effing liked been as though she was going against medical advice and being childish she deserved whatever.  So she gets up, slams out of a and e and stormed off.  Leaving me in a and e apologising to the nurses and the doctors for her behaviour, which they said was fine and was I ok as shed been having a go at me non stop for hours.  I sorted out where her watch was as the ambulance crew had removed it etc, so the receptionist said shed ask the crew and then give me a ring..said i was up at the hozzie on tuesday anyway so if i was handed in id pick it up then.  At this point mum is storming off the wrong way out the hospital, which is like a rabbit warren, but i know the layout like the back of my hand now..cant think why lol

Anyway, finally tracked her down, sat outside having a fag and cursing me being all stroppy.  I said, right have you calmed down now, ready to see sense, the car is over there, come on lets get back and ill put you to bed and joe can take you home in the afternoon once youve had some sleep.  She said ive phoned a taxi..how youve got no credit..you gave me sixty quid..mum how do you put a ten pound note into your phone dont talk rubbish.  Told her to come back and she could talk to dad on her puter which is in her room and I could keep an eye on her..so she kicked off again saying lots of not nice stuff...and thats when i really really really lost it.  Now im normally a very calm person, however, my fuse had been lit..and i just blew up at her.

Told her..you go back to yours, dont bother coming back to mine next week.  You are being childish and pathetic, you are a risk to yourself and you cant see it.  So she then said that obviously i wasnt good enough for her...so I just told her to go eff herself and walked off....shes screaming at me accross the car park saying well phone me when you need me...so i just yelled back saying..right now mother i dont do what you want i dont care....got round the corner phoned sharon to say i was on my way back home and put the kettle on cos i couldnt have a whiskey.

Got home at about half 4, still fuming, told sharon what had happend and she just couldnt believe how i had kept my cool.  Anyway mum phoned just as sharon was about to leave saying she was back at home..shed put what id given her back into my bank account and then started on what I had done to her, what right...click brrrrrrrr i just hung up on her.

I sent a text to my sister and she sent me a text back this morning, mum hasnt phoned her yet..she hasnt phoned here yet and when she does she wont be able to remember anything that she said last night..but im not having it.  Ill tell her to come over wednesday for when i have chemo...and the following wednesday..and then she can just poke it.  Ill sort a van out to take all her stuff back to hers and we will just carry on with treatment without her.  Im NOT going to have her talk to me like that, or deal with all her carry ons..just enough is enough now.

Cheers guys for all your support in your posts, and letting me rant

Posted: 07 July 2007 at 4:09pm | IP Logged

oh steph how awfull for you,sorry your mum is acting like this,i cant understand how she can always be going on about you being ill yet putting you through all this crap,its hardly gona make you any better is it,maybe the drinking is her way of dealing with it and if so she does need to learn that its not the way and is causing you more trouble.

i think you having that talk with her and sending her home etc should hit a nerve and make her realise.

i hope for your sake she has a long hard think about the way shes treating you and things get better soon xxxxx

Posted: 07 July 2007 at 4:32pm | IP Logged

Oh what a thing to have to deal with, and at silly o'clock too! Doesn't matter who it is from, no one should have to listen to that kind of abuse. Im glad the fall wasn't anything serious, but Im sorry for the way she made you feel. Huge hugs coming your way babe xxxxx

Posted: 07 July 2007 at 9:57pm | IP Logged

What a nightmare night you have had, I must admit by the sound of it you are a more patient than I would have been I think.

I hope your Mum rings you... do you think there is any chance of things being resolved between you both, I hope so.