Parenting Forums

Posted: 16 July 2007 at 2:07pm | IP Logged

I was just wondering when you think is the right time to talk with your child about safe sex, and reproduction? How much information is necessary? Should a parent show a child how to use a condom, if so, at what age?

I always thought when a child showed an interest in the opposite sex then that would be an appropriate time, or when they were showing signs of puberty. I remember my mum gave me a book to read when I started asking where babies came from. I don't ever recall actually been sat down and had this discussed with me. As I went to a Catholic school, we also didn't practice sex eduacation. I was never shown how to put a condom on, I didn't even know what one looked or felt like.

I was just thinking this this morning because Joshua asked me why he was a boy. When I explained that it just depended which way they were made, he asked me if boys were made in a different factory. I responded by telling Joshua that boys and girls were made in mummy's tummys, but they couldn't chose which they were making. He was ok with that explanation, and I had no intent of going into loads of detail with him, but it did make me think should I try to explain this in as simple the truth as I can, or should I go along with the factory story he had? I personally feel, keeping the truth very basic and simple is better for little ones, opposed to feeding them a complete lie and then having to start from scratch when the times comes to talk about it.

Posted: 16 July 2007 at 3:31pm | IP Logged

Both my husband and I have discussed this in depth. What we have decided that is right for us (others may disagree) is to be honest and factual. All our children 2 boys and a 2 year old girl call there bits by there proper name.

We  reinforce to them that mummy and daddy loved each other so much that we wanted to have children. The baby grew inside mummies tummy and came out of the proper named place! That satisfies them at present.

When they start asking more intimate questions we will incorporate the emotional side of relationships as well as the physical (fun) stuff. We have agreed  that when they are teenagers we will discuss emotions more than "the act" but also drill into them that we love them and we do not want them to hide problems  from us, we will not judge them we just want to help them and for them to be safe.  . Our door will be open to them. I hate the thought of any of my children going through a termination or a STI on there own, and then thinking that there parents will judge them, if they find out.

I could never show them how to use a condom, I think it would make there skin crawl thinking there parents still did it! However I would discuss contraception with them

Posted: 16 July 2007 at 4:21pm | IP Logged

I agree a lot with Sunny. Have always been open with the girls about it all - don't see any point in making things up when they are wee, just telling them as little as possible until they questioned me more.  My mum and dad were always very  open about everything with me and I've always been able to discuss anything with them - I'd like to think my kids will feel the same with me. I would hate to think they were confused or worried about anything, but felt they couldn't discuss it with me or dh.

Cameron isn't asking for any details at mo (long may that last!), but he does know that he was in my tummy, and that's about it just now. He's very aware that he and daddy have different 'bits' from mummy and his sisters, but hasn't wondered any further yet. I will just keep it simple when he does ask.

My girls talk to me about all sorts nowadays - I hope to keep that relationship with them as they get older (fingers crossed!)I am trying to press home to the girls about the importance of loving relationships and sex - it's a difficult time, hitting the teen years! ( I now understand how my mum and dad felt when me and my sister were growing up!lol!)xxx

Posted: 16 July 2007 at 5:05pm | IP Logged

Dh's parents just left a book hanging around so he could read it himself. dh's parents would have been old fashioned (no sex before marraige, lol).

I think I would give rachel a book and tell have a read and if she had any queations to come and ask me. I also think if I had a son I would get John to talk to him.

I know myself that i would feel better talking to woman about the birds and the bees.

p.s. If I didn't have a partner I would get my brother or a male friend, some one who he would trust. I know I probably have opened a can of worms here but I don't have a son so i can only summize what I might do !!!!