Parenting Forums

Posted: 19 August 2007 at 4:00pm | IP Logged

Sorry, bit of a moan.

The boys' father dropped them off at 9pm Thursday night.  All was well until Max showed me the back of his sun-kissed legs where he got severely burned.  So bad, in fact, that the skin had blistered.  Apparently, Daddy had forgotten to rub sun screen in and allowed Max to bodysurf all day unprotected.

So my little boy is nearly in tears with pain, refuses to let me wash him because it hurts so much.  I'm livid at 'him' for being so bloomin incompetent.

Furthermore, our youngest is fast asleep in a sopping wet nappy.  He's soaking all the way through his clothes and his dad was quite happy to put him to bed like that.  Over my dead body.  So I change my toddler while he's still fast asleep and put him to bed.

I know for a fact that he's been in the UK with his 'new family' waiting for a flight to Trinidad, but has he phoned the boys once to speak to them?  Nooooo, of course not.  Instead he's managed two texts.

On the plus side, Max had a little cry when his daddy left the Thursday night, but apart from that he has been perfectly happy, same as always.  Tom as always is unaffected.

In fact, they talk about the lovely time they had on holiday (which I know they've had cos I rang Tenerife nearly everyday to speak to them...see, spot the difference), but they're not cut up about daddy.

I'm so proud of them.  It's so lovely having them home where they belong.

Posted: 19 August 2007 at 4:09pm | IP Logged

Awww poor Max, bless him. Surely your ex must've noticed his little legs going red ?

What about having a word with your ex and see if you can set down some firm ground rules for parenting ?

Posted: 19 August 2007 at 4:28pm | IP Logged

I've tried all that, Hazy, right from the start but he doesn't take any notice.  It was much the same through our marriage really, he did it his way without thinking about the consequences to anyone else, not even his children.  He's extremely selfish.

I've even emailed him with updates of the children, for example I told him that Max has been completely dry at night for several months now and what does he do but puts him back into pull-ups.  Fortunately Max is back to not wearing them again now, but it's like his dad is hell bent on spoiling all my hard work.

I just feel whenever the children go away, 'he' always does something to wind me up.  Sure he does it on purpose.  Either that or he's just completely hopeless.

Posted: 19 August 2007 at 5:05pm | IP Logged

Id go with hopeless chica....the guys a prat..and thats me being tame.

For max..put shedloads of baby oil in his bath to help soothe his skin, gets some moisture back in there.

For tom...well hes just a little thug and hard as nails bless him.

Its tough going chica..ben does the same sort of thing to me..however I get a spoilt brat when she comes home..and it takes a week to re-train that i wants just dont work with me.  Ben overcompensates and cant see that what hes doing makes our life a bit tougher..the rest of his family stick to my rules.

There is only one thing that you can do chica where iiiijit is concerned..he either works with the boys the way you have..or he just doesnt see them simple as that.  Why should you have all your work undone just cos he cant be bothered.  Takes 2 seconds  put sun cream on..ben has had that lecture to..same as antihistimine medicine..takes 2 seconds to change a nappy...its not hard is it.  Tough love time chica..only thing you can do.

Posted: 19 August 2007 at 9:04pm | IP Logged

I suppose most men dont realise what a massive responsibility goes into parenting full stop. 

My df only puts suncream on my two when prompted or when i've instructed him to do so.

He still asks sometimes if Harry needs a nappy on for bed, bearing in mind he is 5 and has only ever had 1 accident in the whole 1.5 yrs he's been out of bed nappies

I'm sure he tried his best.  Was that the first time he had both boys for that amount of time alone? That could've been the answer.  I think you need to make him fully aware of what your routine with the boys is and if he isnt prepared to stick to it and is to continually undo all your hard work and effort then....

I agree leaving poor Tom is a soaking nappy is irrisponsible - poor boy.

Posted: 19 August 2007 at 9:29pm | IP Logged

Awww hun its things like this that wind me up. I mean they might do it to wind you up but what about poor Max hes the one who is suffering surely he should take that into consideration.

Kev's mum and Dad do this with me and i tell them they can wind me up as much as they like but its the kids that suffer.

Well if you ask me he is a prat and needs to learn what a real parent does. Make sure you send him lots of pics aswell. xxxxxxxx

Posted: 20 August 2007 at 9:36am | IP Logged

What a shame for wee Max. My ex did exactly the same last year when he took the girls to Tenerife. Rebecca's face was so badly burnt it had blisters and peeling skin all over it, and was so swollen I hardly recognised her when she got out of the car. I got a terrible shock. I gave them factor 50 suncream away with them this year and gave strict instructions to them about reapplying frequently - but then that's ok with older kids, unfortunately with younger ones it's down to the adults. I hope he's not in too much pain now. I kept putting cream on Becca's face all day and night for days, and gave her paracetamol to help with the heat/pain.

I was tempted to stop him taking them abroad this year, but made it clear that if they came back to me even slightly burnt this year, it would be the last time he got to take them on holiday.xxx