Pregnancy Forums

Posted: 19 August 2007 at 4:19pm | IP Logged

I'm in a loving, secure relationship with a fantastic man. 

However, for a few weeks now I've been feeling really broody.  My partner doesn't have children, and he would like to be a father, but obviously not yet.

Now I agree with everything he says.  We've only been together 9 months.  We've both come out of long term marriages (technically, he's still married, but is thinking about pursuing a divorce), we've both just bought our own homes so you can see the timing is all wrong.

But still my hormones persist.

It wouldn't be such an issue for me, but Kev is already 35.  By the time we've established our relationship and the logistics of being together will he be too old to be a dad?

I mean old in the sense will he want to get up in the middle of the night to feed and change his baby.  Be 60 when the child turns 20 etc.

Has anyone got advice on older dads and they parent?  Just a theoretical question really.

Post edit:  Apologies, just realised I've posted in the wrong forum. Is it possible to move it?

Posted: 19 August 2007 at 4:22pm | IP Logged

I wouldn't like a really old Dad as I don't think it's fair for kids to end up taking care of their parents while the kids are still young.

However, I do feel that there is no reason why a guy can't be a wonderful, loving father at an older age, more life experience etc.

Posted: 19 August 2007 at 4:35pm | IP Logged

He's 35, Becky.

I know he really wants children too as his ex very sadly miscarried at 20 weeks and he's never gotten over that.  We've obviously discussed this, and agreed to wait but I have been stewing on this and would like to hear some other opinions.

He's fantastic with my children and they adore him.  I think he'll make a super father.  I love him very much.

I guess many men become fathers in their late 30s and early 40s right?

Posted: 19 August 2007 at 4:43pm | IP Logged

i think it will be when your both super ready maybe your feeling broody because its a chat you've had ? he is still young (well younger than my hubby) so i really shouldnt worry i bet he will make a great dad when the times right.

Anyway back to the point no i dont think he will be too old and anyhow sometimes the 'oldies' are the better parents (no offence to young mums and dads)

Posted: 19 August 2007 at 5:01pm | IP Logged

my partner is 39 tomorrow and abi is nearly 16 months and we would like another one soon not in the to distant future. i believe age is just a number paul is very young at heart, he plays with her and gets up in the night at the weekend and the early mornings.

when the time is right for you both go for it if that is what you both want. can i ask if you are the same age as him? i only ask cos i am 25 so i dont know if that makes a difference but i dont feel as if does. hth.

Posted: 19 August 2007 at 5:10pm | IP Logged

I reckon...he should sell his pad...move into yours...you get your extension done ahem..ooooooor you both sell up..get a huuuuuge house...and jobs done live happily ever after time.

I dont think it makes much difference how old 'dad' is..love is love end of methinks.

Mind you...give him a chance to get used to being a step-dad first..ok im jumping the gun here..but I know you lol.  Take it from there..but ive got a book running with joe now..and i dont like to lose my bets young lady..and no im not telling you