How do I tell him - School Aged Children - Parenting Forums - Madmums

Author

Message

Prev Topic | Next Topic

3smallboys
Looney Tune

Medals:

Joined: 04 October 2006

United Kingdom
Posts: 881
Gender: Female

Posted: 30 August 2007 at 8:45pm \| IP Logged

Well, the boys went back to school today, which they weren't looking forward to. Noah (just 5) was quite nervous and I had to take him into the class to line up as he wouldn't leave me. He came out and said his day had been 'alright', but he's obviously exhausted and was really grouchy and emotional at home, getting upset over everything, which isn't like him at all, and literally fell into bed and was asleep in seconds. I'm hoping that he just needs to get back into the routine of school.

Anyway... after tea, I went out to feed the guinea pigs, and Noah's was dead! I don't know why, they've been fine (the other two still are), it hasn't got any obvious injuries, it was just dead. I couldn't bring myself to tell him. I think it would have finished him off today. I know I have to tell him, but I don't know when and how. As the weather isn't good at the mo, I know I could get away with it for a few days as he isn't outside wanting to play with it, but what do I tell him? Help!

MrGreedylookalike
Insane
Avatar

Medals:

Joined: 12 June 2005

United Kingdom
Posts: 2625
Gender: Not Specified

Posted: 30 August 2007 at 8:47pm \| IP Logged

oh crikey, sorry I've no idea...is there no way that you can replace him or would he be able to tell?

Search for other posts by MrGreedylookalike

3smallboys
Looney Tune

Medals:

Joined: 04 October 2006

United Kingdom
Posts: 881
Gender: Female

Posted: 30 August 2007 at 8:52pm \| IP Logged

I wish it were possible! He called it "Funny", for a very good reason! I've never seen another that looked ANYTHING like it...

Vickimom
Manager
Avatar

Miscarriage Buddy

Medals:

More Awards: 5

Joined: 11 June 2005

United Kingdom
Posts: 8635
Gender: Female

Posted: 30 August 2007 at 9:03pm \| IP Logged

Not a good day hun! Not sure what to say when my boys' rabbits died it was always the one that belonged to ds2! Hope you think of something soon!

mamma2bronze
Looney Tune
Avatar

Medals:

More Awards: 2

Joined: 29 June 2005

United Kingdom
Posts: 2366
Gender: Female

Posted: 30 August 2007 at 9:12pm \| IP Logged

oh dear,i have no idea really,maybe you could tell him it must have been poorly and its gone to special guinea pig heaven and it will be better there and play with the other lil pigs...???!! sorry thats the best i can come up with,do you think he might like to bury it and say goodbye..? try save it untill friday after school to tell him then he has the weekend to deal with it...??

sorry hun i dunno what else to say,hope he is okay the poor lil lad xxx

Angelica72
Looney Tune
Avatar

Medals:

More Awards: 2

Joined: 24 April 2007

United Kingdom
Posts: 1932
Gender: Female

Posted: 30 August 2007 at 9:27pm \| IP Logged

Oh no - what a shame. Poor Noah. I don't really know what would be best - I think if it was me I'd do what Lauren suggested and wait til after school on Friday - then he's with you for a couple of days, and you can help him deal with it. Poor wee thing. Sorry to hear he wasn't settled after his day at school too.

xxx

mum of 4!
Insane
Avatar

Medals:

More Awards: 1

Joined: 05 July 2006

United Kingdom
Posts: 2338
Gender: Female

Posted: 30 August 2007 at 9:33pm \| IP Logged

Awwww poor guinea pig, and Noah!
If it were me, i'd tell him what has happened and reasure him that it wasnt anybodys fault that Funny died, they just all do at some point and they all go to piggy heaven lol!
I dont really believe in misleading kids as they normally understand far more than we give them credit for anyway.
I'd make it a special trip out to replace Funny... if thats what Noah wants too.
Bless him, thats all he needs now isnt it?
I hope he settles down at school soon as well hun
x-x-x

Madzwalker
Manager
Avatar

SPD Buddy

Medals:

More Awards: 6

Joined: 13 June 2005

United Kingdom
Posts: 8620
Gender: Female

Posted: 30 August 2007 at 9:42pm \| IP Logged

Its a tough one but I agree with amanda that honesty is probably the best policy here. Wait until tomorrow afternoon, not in the morning, then explain that funny has had to go away for a long sleep and that he is ok. Tell him you'll take him out on Saturday to buy a new guinea pig.

You'll know the best way to explain death to your children but I would be as honest as is sensible. If it were me I wouldnt mention any connection to school, even in a positive way (as in 'It wasnt because you were away at school') as he may not even have made that connection himself and it will give him ideas.

Make a little plaque for him in the garden if thats what Noah wants. It will be tough for him but kids are very resilient when it comes to that sort of thing.

Good luck - and I hope school improves for him.

MumSam
Admin Group
Avatar

Miscarriage Buddy

Medals:

More Awards: 1

Joined: 11 June 2005

United Kingdom
Posts: 5991
Gender: Female

Posted: 30 August 2007 at 9:48pm \| IP Logged

I think you have to tell him before he finds out by accident. I found with the girls when their guinea pigs died that a little funeral helped them. They wrapped them up and put them in shoe boxes (we had 16 at one point, alive not dead...) and said a little goodbye. It is sad but kids react in their own way. Sometimes the girls used to get really upset about it other times it didn't seem to bother them as much. I used to buy a new rose bush too and plant that where we buried them I had a lot of roses in my garden when I moved....

steph
Looney Tune
Avatar

Medals:

More Awards: 1

Joined: 07 June 2006

United Kingdom
Posts: 4141
Gender: Female

Posted: 31 August 2007 at 8:45am \| IP Logged

oh dear..

Erm I would say that he wanted to go be with jerry-lee and have fun doing lots of naughty things..rummaging around and running about.

I know its no consoloation, itll be rough for a few days, but he will bounce back

Parenting Forums

School Aged Children

Topic: How do I tell him