Parenting Forums

Posted: 03 September 2007 at 6:09am | IP Logged

My 6 year old was due to go back to school next week, after finishing at his school the first week of August. He has a mild learning delay... he is just slower but he does get there. The last report we got said he was slower but within the parameters of "normal"

He attends the British school here ( a private school due to this being one of only 3 schools that provide the british curricullum) Anyway the rule is all children must attend a new assessment every year before the start date.

We toddle of thinking that this was just a formality. He went of to the assessment ( I wasn't allowed in) he said he did his reading, his maths and had a play. The head of the department said she would call me.

I got the call saying he wasn't up to par to move to year 2. I suggested maybe he could move back a year. I have read alot about this and heard alot of positive things about it. She said bring him back.

So we went back yesterday, we got the call last night to say they are withdrawing him from the school as he was not learning independently enough. Gobsmacked was an understatement. I asked the HOD what we should do, she said she would have him in her class but it was the teacher decision and the teacher had said no..because at 6 he was not learning independently. I offered to come in and be his learning support and with draw him from the class for an hour  or two to recap, I even offered to pay for his own leraning support teacher ...evidently that is not good enough. There are 20 children and 1 teacher and 1 teacher support.

The HOD has said he needs mainstream schooling he is not a specialist child and could not stop apoligising. She said I should discuss with the principal as historically they have only withdrew children with behavioural problems...which he has none. Out of my 3 he is the kindest, most caring and nicest child.

I have been in tears all night slept for about 3 hours and now he is cross with me as I have told him mummy was not quick enoughto get his name down for school so he might not have a place.

I really feel like my life has gone up in smoke. I have phoned the other schools and they are all full...so we are left with nothing.

My husband is tied into his contract till March next year...so we have no idea what to do.

Sorry about the post but I am having a nervous breakdown about it...we are singlehandly ruining his life!

Posted: 03 September 2007 at 8:20am | IP Logged

That's awful Sunny. I'm not really sure where you can go next with this. Will you make an appointment with the principal to fight your case? It just sounds so unfair to the wee boy. Surely they can't just leave you in this position, with no school available. Don't blame yourself - this is not your fault.

xxx

Posted: 03 September 2007 at 8:49am | IP Logged

How awful a situation the school have put you in.

I agree you should definitely discuss this with the principle.  Its unfair to your son for him to be withdrawn from a school due to no fault of his own.  Harrison's work that he does at school is done with the help of a teaching assistant. He is in a class of 28 (or he will be when they go back on weds) there in 1 teacher and 1 T.A.  There are 7 children including Harrison who learn at a much slower pace than the rest of the class. I know its different there as its a private school, but surely they cant discriminate him just because his pace of learning isn't as quick as the rest of the class.

Have you looked into an English home tutor, i dont know how expensive they would be.  Would the school be willing to provide you with school work for you to do with him at home?  This doesn't solve the social side of learning that schools provide though.

I really hope this can be resolved and the school see how utterly selfish they are being.

Posted: 03 September 2007 at 9:27am | IP Logged

im so sorry i dunno what to say i cant imagine how bad you must be feeling but pls try not to blame yourselves,easier said than done i know but this is not your fault by any means,that is v unfair of he school,you should deff arrange a meeting with the principle,i dunno how it works over there but i think that is discrimination i would threaten to tak it further,that might put the wind up them a bit. but then,if he did end up getting in would he be treat the same? is there no way you can have a meeting with any of the other schools and explain your situation and maybe get him on a waiting list and try home tuiton for the time he is not in school?

i think jopsy may be yr best bet on here,she will know more of the ins and outs of the schholing lark,maybe you should pm her hun

hope you get something sorted soon,thinking about you xxxx

Posted: 03 September 2007 at 10:25am | IP Logged

I'm so sorry to hear about this - Could Social Services help at all? I can't imagine not being allowed a school place somewhere.

Thinking of you

crys xxx

Posted: 03 September 2007 at 10:36am | IP Logged

Im sorry to hear about this, its just awful but not ur fault so dont blame urself

U should definately fight ur case but if the outcome isnt good is it posible for u to home school him?Maybe the HOD can give u the work that he should b doing in class then he can learn at his own pace...or if u were willing to pay for him to hav his own support teacher, maybe u could afford a private tutor?

Good luck, hope it all works out for u

Posted: 03 September 2007 at 11:50am | IP Logged

Both my husband and I have spoken to the HOD again, she is going to fight our case to the principal.  As I said previously she would have him in her class, ( however she takes reception for 4 to 5 year olds) and she has proved this by accepting an autistic boy into her class with a shadow support.

When I asked her about the reasoning of the school . She said that they are a selective school and being private they can charge what they want and take who they want. They are selective of there students, so they get higher  SAT results, therefore they can charge parents more.

I told her it was a fundamental right for all children to have education, and the teacher that refused my son his place should be ashamed to call herself a teacher, when she is only picking the top 10 percent of applicants.

The HOD also said that if they do reverse the decison we would have to sign a contract that the school could withdraw him if he doesn't improve fast enough. Not really an option for us...can you imagine the stress on him. Honestly.

I am horrified at the entire situation...so much so my husband is speaking to the powers that be at his work to either transfer or resign

They have said I could buy there curriculum if I paid the full years fees up front. I am not prepared to pay over £3000 for that.

I have searched buying the curriculum and resources elsewhere and it has come in at £600 for the year. I could do some of it and employ a turor for 5 to 10 hours a week...but it is the socialisation that is so important at This stage and he adores his friends.

 I honestly wonder what he or i have done to deserve this treatment. it is descrimination but evidently that is allowed in private education. The thing is his education was no better than what he received in the local village public school  in Scotland. SO WRONG!

So no further forward really anf getting more and more  depressed by the minute. I can handle most things but rejection of your child has been one of the most painful episodes in my life.