Joined: 29 August 2007 United Kingdom Posts: 85 Gender: Female
Posted: 06 September 2007 at 4:03pm | IP Logged
Hi, you probably know my story, I had "a missed-miscarriage" (see topic).
I took my LO back to nursery yesterday, which is attached to the school. I found myself suddenly all sad to see all the happily pregnant mums, newborn babies & children running around. This had surprised me I thought I was over 'it'.
I felt very uncomfortable, because the last time I was there; it was the last day of the Summer School Term dropping off & picking up my LO. I was 12 wks pregnant then, I was 'showing' & blooming. And, I was about to step into my small old maternity clothes! Now, I am suddenly not. I had wondered what everyone thought of me. And, I had also already told one of the other mums about the news of my pregnancy & gossip spreads! I thought I was safe to tell having made it to the 12 wks of my pregnancy.
I always 'show' early all in my pregnancies & I tend to bloom early too. My skin & hair get all fantastic & I normally have oily spot prone skin.
My consultant who had discovered my MMC, said the dead baby's sac had still been growing making me look pregnant & my placenta had still been releasing the pregnancy hormones.
Joined: 08 February 2007 United Kingdom Posts: 160 Gender: Female
Posted: 06 September 2007 at 4:11pm | IP Logged
im sorry to hear you are feeling low at the moment, it must be very difficult. i cant offer any advice really as ive not been in your situation just wanted to send you hugs and that even though your last pg didnt work out you should be very proud of your other children and yourself
Joined: 12 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 7912 Gender: Female
Posted: 06 September 2007 at 4:54pm | IP Logged
just thinking of you
a mum at school was in a similar situation at the end of term, she found that most of the mums were upset for her and not gossipy-it often just feels like that with so many women in grps around
can you go along with someone else next time, another mum just so you feel you have moral support?
Joined: 05 July 2006 United Kingdom Posts: 2389 Gender: Female
Posted: 06 September 2007 at 5:44pm | IP Logged
I dont think the other mum's at school would be gossiping about you at all. I found that people didnt know what to say to me, and so didnt say anything at all... which for me felt worse than them perhaps saying the wrong thing. I think they might not know weather to say anything or not, because some people feel comfortable about talking about it, and other's would prefer not too!
It may take a while for you to be 'over it' as you say, so dont be suprised by sudden strong emotions emerging every now and then. If you feel comfortable talking it over with a friend or another mum at school, then do so, if you dont... you dont have to explain anything to anyone.
Joined: 11 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 6070 Gender: Female
Posted: 06 September 2007 at 9:23pm | IP Logged
You will feel sad for quite a while to come I am afraid. I lost my babies in December and May and still think about them every day and the what ifs and they whys. I see people that weren't even pregnant when I first was with their babies. It is unfair, it is sad.
Joined: 29 August 2007 United Kingdom Posts: 85 Gender: Female
Posted: 07 September 2007 at 9:42am | IP Logged
You all are lovely! Thanks for 'listening in' & I finding that I am still needing to talk about it.
Sometimes I wished that my MMC happened spontaneously at 9 wks, like it was supposed too, it would have been perhaps easier to deal with. But then again, I am comforted by the thought that my baby wanted to be with me for an extra month, even though it's seemed that my body was just tormenting me.
I have been thinking about what you all said; yes, you are right. I think the mums are probably sorry for me & are afraid to say anything incase of upsetting me. Although I do perfer them to say something. And, I bet there's quite a few of them are probably victims of MC themselves! In the same position as me & only I don't know about it.
I took my LO to nursery again this morning, she goes 3 x weekly. I caught my neighbour going pass my house, she was taking her 5 yr girl to school, so I walked with her. That felt much better, my neighbour knew about my MMC.
Joined: 29 August 2007 United Kingdom Posts: 85 Gender: Female
Posted: 07 September 2007 at 10:07am | IP Logged
When my MMC happened, I hadn't really found that many people supportive as I had thought they'll be. You certainly find who your friends are when this kind of thing happens!
I couldn't talk to my mother, because she died 7 yrs ago. My sister was so wrapped up in her busy own life to even bother popping in to see me! My auntie & cousin had been great senting me cards. And, a friend sent me some beautiful lily flowers. The people I was very disappointed with was my DH's family. I had no phone calls at all! My DH had phoned my MIL bearing the sad news, whilst I was in hospital waiting to have my ERPC done. And, my MIL didn't even ring back to see how I was after the operation, she rang 9 days later! I won't bother making such an effort with her now!
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Topic: Feeling blue
