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Posted: 08 September 2007 at 2:09pm | IP Logged

I have just been in Awful from the last too weeks, I feel like I am always * off.

I feel very much taken for granted by both dh and Rachel (who i know isn't possible as she is only 2).

When Dh and I made the decision that I would give up work I really was ok with it BUT He seems to think that I got the easy side of the deal.

When I went on holidays in May, dh took the week off of work and said he had a fantastic with Rachel and she was as good as gold. So I have it easy. I have to deal with Rachel every day and the house work (which does not get done all the time).

He seem to think that he would do a much better job of staying at home and wouldn't be as stressed.

I tell him, its ok for a week but its hard work when you have to do it all the time.

I don't think Dh realises that when I gave up work, I gave up my social circle and for want of a better of a better word my independence.

I don't know, may-be I am just a moody old cow.

Posted: 08 September 2007 at 2:25pm | IP Logged

not at all hun, i fel the same sometimes. i long for adult conversation that doesnt involve screaming toddlers as dh works nights hes in bed all day so i hardly see him.

i know for a fact my dh wouldnt cope with our 2 and he admits that but he still thinks i have an easy life and that really p****s me off.

hugs hun xxxx

Posted: 08 September 2007 at 4:06pm | IP Logged

Scream and shout on here all you want, its not easy looking after the house and raising kid's.. 

I done it for 4 years with Taylor and once Sophie was born i was the one who went back to work as i was sick of the same 4 walls, no adult conversation, taking a year just to get out of the front door.. Simon can now see its not as easy as blokes think.. and at times i would come back from work and the house still be a tip cause Sophie was constantly wanting his attention.

Now he has Jamie to deal with too, so im waiting for the "you don't realise how hard this is " speech from him,... but i do know cause i've been there!!

If you can afford it.. tell him to take a month off work, and only he deals with Rachel.. then see how long it is till he starts complaining or not getting the washing up done!!

Posted: 08 September 2007 at 5:30pm | IP Logged

Ok, you are going to hate me Martha but I think that honesty is best.

You sound very much like I did when I decided I wanted baby number 3. It became an obsession and all I could see was another baby.

I hated being stuck in the house with the 2 of them when Adam came along and I often found myself wishing I had an escape route.

All I really want to say, is please, please think about the post you have made here before keeping on with the ttc.

Posted: 08 September 2007 at 10:10pm | IP Logged

I will talk to him. AS for tcc I am scared of how I will cope but Dh and I both know that it could take longer to concieve.

I will have a chat to dh.

Posted: 09 September 2007 at 2:36pm | IP Logged

dear Martha,  do not get so upset about it. belive me we have these sessions evry week and i tell my Dh i am not going to have one more baby as i have abslutely no help from you and my job is thankless. but the very next day i am all happy and trying for the next one.

all this is part of life. two people will have two opinions. take it easy and try for the next one:)

Posted: 09 September 2007 at 7:01pm | IP Logged

I think that the men who truly understand what it's like to be at home all day are few and far between. My dh is a lot better than he used to be since I spent a week in hospital and had 6 weeks recovery period after, so he had to do a lot more than usual with and for the boys. But even then he had it easier than I would have with my mum and my sister doing the washing, and my mum then his mum moving in for a week each and filling up the freezer while they were here! Having said that, even though he might not understand, since then we've discussed things a lot more fully, and I no longer feel taken for granted. And I can also see his side, which is that actually he would love to be able to do more with the boys, but he has to sacrifice some time with them as he has the responsibility of earning the money and fixing up the house, and in the past I haven't fully understood how hard that is for him.

It might take you longer to conceive, but it might not. And are you sure that having another one is absolutely the right thing if things are strained between you and you dh now? You need to have a real good discussion with him about it all, and make sure that you're both completely honest about how you view things and how you feel about your situations both at the moment, and if another baby comes along. That is hard, but it's definitely the best way to go. Good luck x