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Posted: 11 September 2007 at 12:50pm | IP Logged

Hmmm remember a while ago we sort of made bets on wether or not the tamoxifen would stop my af...well....finally after 2 and a bit months of it being MIA..and me starting to go through the menopause..well guess what decided to turn up this morning with a vengence..thats right my af.  Im not impressed at all.  I see the oncologist before I finish my rads so will be having a major one way chat with him..as obviously the tamoxifen is not doing what its supposed to be doing properly..so might need a stronger dosage..or the guy will tell me i need my ovaries removed which will push me into the menopause immediately.

If he tells me i need my ovaries removed..then he can do a full hysterectomy while hes there!

Other than that..saw the nurse today who examined me and nearly got punched cos she prodded a bit to hard.  Ive got a lot of internal inflammation (well durr your cooking me from the inside out) still pinking up nicely..oh yeah and suffering with a nice dose of radiation sickness (even worse than morning sickness I can tell you). 

Still 14 more days to go so wooohoooo

Posted: 11 September 2007 at 1:13pm | IP Logged

LOL, ive just phoned my Booby nurse up at the hospital to get some info on tamoxifen and she said that it disrupts and can stop periods..and im one of the unlucky ones with a hard as nails system!  My nurse is ace..a spades a spade with her lol.

Anyway she said have a chat with poison doc about it cos she thinks i should get my ovaries zapped..ive said i dont want that as its instant menopause and ill be in a wheelchair by the time im 45.  Ive told them ive been referred for sterilisation and gave her my appt date and time..and shes going to give them a ring and see what she can do to get me in for the op asap..as well as ask them (or knowing corinne tell them point blank) to agree to it lol.

So there we go..all the fun in the fair

Posted: 11 September 2007 at 1:27pm | IP Logged

Sorry things not going quite as you hoped. Fingers crossed your nurse gets things moving along asap for you.

Hope the next 14 days go as quickly and easily as possible.

xxx

Posted: 11 September 2007 at 4:56pm | IP Logged

Im reaching the end of even my limits though.  Ive had enough now, im sick of hospitals (ah well unlucky), sick of appointments, sick of being poked and prodded, sick of rads, sick of treatment, sick of the whole flamming thing.

I know ive only got days to do now, but ive just had enough.  Im thoroughly exhausted by the whole thing.  Sick of not being able to plan anything, sick of my body being a complete pain, sick of not being able to do stuff that I really want to do...cant go swimming, cant manage long walks, cant have bubble baths, cant have deodorant or perfumes, cant wear my necklaces (i know petty but its winding me up). Fed up of running around getting here there and everywhere to get ouched up again.  Sick of hearing..oh isnt your hair growing well..dont you look well..have you finished now..just plain old fed up with the whole blooming thing.  Its been to long of a year..but still...the end is almost in sight. 

I just want my life back.

Posted: 11 September 2007 at 9:23pm | IP Logged

Oh hun!! I know its been a horrible year,but its nearly over now! Hang on in there, we're all there with you x

As for the menopause thing, I know, normally that sometimes your af can come and go before dissappearing completely. i've started having these brief periods of no af ( 10 wks being the longest) then normal af for a while. I don't know if this is the case with tamoxifen though, sorry not much help.

Sory to say this but you'll probably always be know as 'the one who had cancer'. i still am, although I'm not the 'twin' who had cancer now as sis has had it too lol. Some people don't realise that you just want to be plain, normal Steph!! Just try and laugh it off, as only you can xx