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Posted: 14 September 2007 at 7:51pm | IP Logged

Harry has got his paediatric psychology follow up appointment on Monday with regards to possible adhd/add.

I'm not really expecting too much from this appointment.  His first consultation was about half an hour of us explaining our probs with him and that was that we were sent on our way and was told they would be writing to the school, speech therapist and GP for info and they'd see us in 6 months. 9 months and about 20 phone calls from us later we are due back.

I'm expecting to be fobbed off tbh, im not really sure what we are going to get from this visit.  I feel like we are getting nowhere whilst Harry is getting progressively worse and his 'out lashes' are getting stronger and more frequent. Which as a mother is heart breaking and down right frustrating to see.  Not to mention exhausting.

I kind of feel like we are having to defend ourselves and explain ourselves to the pead, and i often feel when talking about Harry to a professional that they judge me on how Ive raised him and they make me feel that its my fault.  Even though i know (or hope)that its not.

Sorry for the ramble, but i just want someone to take us seriously because its doing none of us any good.

Posted: 14 September 2007 at 8:10pm | IP Logged

That must be really frustrating for you. I hope this appointment is useful, and you manage to get some proper help for Harry - for his sake and yours.

I'm sorry - I haven't personally had any experience with adhd/add, so can't give any useful advice to you - but just wanted to say good luck for Monday.

xxx

Posted: 14 September 2007 at 8:55pm | IP Logged

Rin this is categorically NOT your fault. You love that child and would do anything for him. How can it be your fault? I'm completely aware of the way doctors can make you feel, believe me, but you must believe that it isn't down to you.

Try and make a list of all the things that you want to say before you go, and then take it with you. That way, you know that you won't forget anything that you want to say. Make sure you ask, and if you don't get a proper answer then ask again. Like I said in the other post, the more persistent you are, the more help you are likely to get. And if you know all the things that you want to ask, having a list can give you more confidence to ask them.

Also make a list of the things that you generally want to discuss, like maybe his speech therapy, to remind you of those too.

At the end of the day, try and remember that doctors are not better people than you, or demigods (as much as some of them might behave as such) and they are really only providing a service that you are paying for! And you're entitled to get a service, they're doing their job, not doing you a favour. It is hard to remember, I know, I tend to lose any confidence when faced with a beligerent doctor, but it does help if you look at it like that. They have all the info they could possibly need by now, and should therefore be able to give you a plan of action to help Harry. I really hope they do. Good luck again, Rin. Will be thinking of you on monday x

Posted: 14 September 2007 at 8:57pm | IP Logged

I hope it all goes better than the first time round. You are doing very well calling them non stop, puting your foot down and fighting for Harry's right to have the best help available. All my best wishes.

Posted: 14 September 2007 at 10:27pm | IP Logged

Hi

I have got a 6 year old son who has only recently been diagonsed with add and adhd with motor problems as well. (march) This only came about as his school teacher got the school pediatrician involved.

I am only now this week recieving information on what his condition is in full and have started getting minimal help and coping stratagies.

I've been asked to attend a parent group to discuss problems and behaviour management techniques. (mid sept), but as you can imagine i am apprehensive of being judged and made to feel small.

I know how you feel about people looking at you judging you just because they haven't got an obvious thing wrong with them like a broken arm people just don't understand, but do not think you are a bad mum hun. (highlighted to make sure you know i mean it not meant to be shouting or anything) If anything your a strong person, yes its hurtful and hard. I often find myself saying to myself that i will always love him but i may not always like him.

He recently acted on impulse and he hit me and hurt my hips by shoving me. What makes it hard is they say ignore the bad, over praise the good.  What makes it worse is he knows whats right and wrong but its part of his add on to add and adhd which makes his behaviour bad and punishment difficult as he knows its wrong but doesn't know, why or any form of reasoning...

Sorry i've rambled on a bit there.... stay strong and pm me if you wanna chat or ask about anything. I'll help you where i can. X