Joined: 12 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 5857 Gender: Female
Posted: 16 September 2007 at 9:16pm | IP Logged
Over a 2 week period, how often would you say you put your child to bed and then hear NOTHING from them until morning? Please answer this honestly because I genuinely do want to know. When I say hear nothing, I mean not a peep or squeak.
The reason I ask is because as ever, Little Miss No Sleep is displaying a new range of tricks. First off, she's dropped her day time nap, which is fine except for most nights shes knackered and like tonight, is completely over tired and so can't seem to sleep. At about 1.30pm today she was rubbing her eyes and looked wasted, so I took her upstairs - but she wouldn't sleep and then was miserable and stoppy all afternoon. Grrrr.
She's also started to wake up having been to sleep for however long and be absolutely hysterical - and I mean the kind of screams where you expect to walk in and find blood everywhere or a limb hanging off. Sometimes shes not fully awake, sometimes she's awake and distressed. I'm wondering if its a kind of night terror thing. Its not every night though so am seeing what happens.
We also have the I'm just going to wake up and winge type behaviour, but the thing is, this is every night to some extent. She's nearly 2 and half now and so is able to understand that we're here and that she's not on her own, and also that its bed time and she should just go to sleep... I don't go into her unless she's hysterical, so a controlled crying response isn't going to work because like right now, she's been crying/winging for 45 mins. I've not been into her, I've spoken to her through the door and I'll be honest, I've just yelled at her that its time to sleep - ok bad move I know and I don't feel good about it
Seriously, I don't expect her to go to bed and just sleep soundlessly all night, for 1 she snores like a bear, but this is EVERY NIGHT, and its not just early evening it can happen at 1, 2, 3 whenever in the morning too.
Anyone any ideas? Seriously, I don't know what to do and its driving me slightly insane. I love her to bits and am wondering if its something I've done, do I not spend enough time with her? Is it attention seeking? I just don't know what to do for the best. HELP!
Joined: 14 October 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 3398 Gender: Female
Posted: 16 September 2007 at 9:25pm | IP Logged
In all honesty out of 14 nights I would say we probably have 2 or 3
nights when we have to settle Lily again after putting her down - but
even at that all it usually takes is a wee cuddle.
Sorry I know thats probably not what you want to hear
Whats the latest on her ear problems? Is she still having bother with
them?
Is she giving you any indication that shes having bad dreams?
I find Lily crys out if she has finished her water - do you leave a cup
of water for her?
I wish I could be of more help hun - you must be shattered!
xx
Joined: 11 September 2007 United Kingdom Posts: 3057 Gender: Female
Posted: 16 September 2007 at 9:35pm | IP Logged
Hi
Ok ds number 1 (ds1) is 6 and out of 7 days we hear from him twice, normally loo but max of 4 if he's had nightmares normally 2 every 2 weeks.
ds2 (17mths) out of 7 nights minimum 3, maximum 9 thats not counting the lenght of time which can be anywhere from 20 mins to 1 hr 30 mins max.
Ds2 does wake up screaming sometimes, no reason, not hunger not cuddles etc this lasts for over 2 hrs and is almost impossible to comfort (this turned out to be trapped wind), other times its tooth ache or a bad dream where a cuddle with a thin t-shirt on so he doesn't sweat and stick to me will be enough to comfort him but if this is the case i have to be very careful as if i move he wakes!
Joined: 17 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 5013 Gender: Female
Posted: 16 September 2007 at 9:49pm | IP Logged
Out of 14 nights IF we put Louis to bed first without Harry then we would proberbly have about 4 nights of him waking for no reason.
we lost the dummy about 2 weeks or so ago and since then he has chose to drop his nap. He wakes every other night crying saying 'sore' but when you go to him nothing is wrong.
we can put him to bed at 6/6.30pm and some nights he's still throwing toys round the room whinging at 8 o'clock. I think he is still adapting to not having a nap and trying to re adjust his sleep and wake pattern becuase like Ella, Louis is a beast when he is overtired
Joined: 11 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 6070 Gender: Female
Posted: 16 September 2007 at 9:53pm | IP Logged
Are we talking from the time you put them to bed until it should be time to get up in the morning? Hmmm let me think out of 14 nights I hear Ollie hmmm for 14 nights...
He either won't go to sleep so ends up vomiting if we do the controlled crying, we have even tried not responding to that other than to pick him up as he heaves and hold him over the bath and then put him back to bed, that doesn't work. Have tried sitting with him not saying anything and gradually withdrawing, he finds this hysterical and no I can't keep a straight face so that doesn't work.
He has started to say everything scares him from ornaments to the dark, etc.
So that's before we even get him to sleep. Do I feel guilty because I work and is this because I work yes and probably. Maybe I am not as strict with him as I was with the girls because I work fulltime and the evenings are the only times I get to see him and I don't want him to be upset all night when I know I have to leave him again to go to work tomorrrow. Equally I know he misses me as he clings to me from the minute I walk in the front door to the minute I wrestle him into bed.
So once asleep I would say at least 5 nights (and that's being under generous) he wakes up. No apparent reason other than he wants to cling to me. If I make him stay in bed then he will scream until he is sick again and you might as well get up and start the day at 3am which I just can't do when I have a 9-10 hr day ahead of me at work. The only way to get some sleep is to put him in our bed. Does this purpetuate his behaviour probably, but it's what I have to do to survive. I can't change the situation that I have to go to work full time, we all need sleep. It comes down to survival most nights.
Joined: 22 November 2006 United Kingdom Posts: 1595 Gender: Female
Posted: 16 September 2007 at 10:02pm | IP Logged
Sounds just lke Ben!!!! Night terrors have been a problem with him recently, but not had one for a while (just tempted fate haven't I). And this week he's woke at least once every night. I think though its because he's had a bit of a cold and cough and has been waking up coughing. Last night he didn't stir, and sometimes he can go a few nights but he's NEVER been a great sleeper.
When he was just doing it forno real reason, we started to give him certificates for stayingin bed all night, and this has really worked! Sounds daft, but he gets excited on a morning that he's going to get a certificate! Dh prints them off comp with a picture of a fav character or object (planes mostly) on it.
Aren't you potty training her? I think Ben's night terrors have something to do with him potty training, but not sure what! I did read read somewhere that peeing at night can disturb them if they are beginning to get used to the sensation.
Hope it gets better soon, but honestly you're NOT alone!! A book called the no cry sleep solution for toddlers and preschoolers by Elizabeth Pantley is a really good book
Joined: 30 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 6849 Gender: Female
Posted: 16 September 2007 at 10:10pm | IP Logged
Well its 14 here as well, although now 4 years later I am learning to ignore him although he disturbs my sleep. He used to wake for long periods, night terrors, screaming. Although technically he wasnt awake he was screaming and I was awake with him. Now some nights its just a few minutes every few hours or so, I dont remember a night ever when I havent heard a peep out of him, although he is a good settler and I have no troubles with him going to bed. Joshua rarely wakes up and plays up, unless he's had a night mare which then he struggles to get back off to sleep. Joshua still has periods of long screaming nights, but there is little I can do. I ignore him if his screams are under 6 minutes, after that I get up. Its just something I have come to live with.
Joined: 17 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 3848 Gender: Female
Posted: 16 September 2007 at 10:19pm | IP Logged
Emilie is up at least once a night too.
She either cries, shouts or toddles through to pop in between mummy and daddy.
I'm hoping she'll be sleeping through by the time the twins appear or I'll be getting no sleep at all. I've heard there's a sleep clinic you can get referred to through your gp, have you got the same sort of thing where you live?
Joined: 13 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 8802 Gender: Female
Posted: 17 September 2007 at 12:27pm | IP Logged
Eds used to sleep through every night and I would have said out of 14 nights I would probably here from him once. Now its probably half the time or more. Normally asking for milk (hes having a growth spurt) or wanting me to lay down with him. Controlled crying works sometimes other times I give in althought its difficult when my hips are bad. I try not to give him milk in the night or he'll expect it every night but I think I am going to have to start giving him supper before bed so he doesnt want extra milk. Good luck!
Joined: 29 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 2422 Gender: Female
Posted: 17 September 2007 at 12:41pm | IP Logged
omg im beggining to see im really lucky...i can put bronia into bed and tell her its bed time and she goes streight off,since moving tho we have had a few bad nights where shes had nightmares but that seems to be getting bk to normal now,she doesnt have a nap in the day anymore. i bath her or whatever,get her jimjams on then bring her downstairs for a bit of telly to settle down,i tell her"after this program its bed time" so as soon as it finishes she knows its bed time,its sorta a comprimise for her so she doesnt argue or kick up a fuss,maybe try this or read a book and say,after this book its sleep time or something? when she has woken up ive just gone in and cuddled her and tried not to talk too much just shush her and then walk out and say good night.
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Topic: Can't sleep won't sleep
