Parenting Forums

Posted: 20 September 2007 at 5:18pm | IP Logged

Arrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Give me strength..... i don't know if any of you understand any thing about a condition in kids called D.A.M.P........ well it's adhd, add and motor problems all rolled into one.....

I'm still strugging to get a hold on my sons behaviour 2 weeks ago he hit me and pushed my hips, 2 days ago he pushed his bother off my mobility scooter (luckly onto the grass) just because and he didn't know why....and today he's just gone to kick me whilst giving ds no2 a cuddle as he'd bounced off the table........ all because i asked him to do his homework.

As if my medical conditions didn't upset and make things difficult enough he has to go and do this and now i'm in aggony....... roll on sat when he's off to his dad's.... thats if his dad can be arsed to get off his bum and come and pick him up!!!

Sorry all i just don't know what to do or how to punish him........and to be honest i haven't the strenght at the moment as my hips are now so sore.....

Any suggestions on what to do now would be greatfully recieved.

Sorry to have blurted it all out and i'm sorry to have burdened you all just can't keep going on like this....Hope your evenings going better than mine...

Posted: 20 September 2007 at 5:45pm | IP Logged

I dont know what to say. I assume you have a medical team, OP etc that could offer advice? Is there no restbite he could go to locally to ease some of the strain off you?

Ive worked with children and young adults with a range of learning disabilities, and I found that each one had their own 'off button'. Like one student we had he had PMLD and he would bite really hard on to you if he was frustrated, I remember one time stroking the back of his hands simultaneously relaxed him and calmed him down. This worked then each time he got frustrated and was lashing out. Another student loved the light room. Little lava lamps would distract her lashing out behaviour and she'd watch those. Literally if she was kicking screaming you name it, turn the lights on and she'd turn to them and instantly mellow and watch them. Im trying to think of one of the pupils with ADHD, Im sure the one Im thinking of had this (coupled with other learning disabilities) and his thing was books. To keep him sat at a table or occupied he'd flick through books. Usually the Argos magazine he'd just sit flicking the pages. Does your ds have his likes? Could you not maybe try and focus on those with him? maybe if he has something he likes he could be rewarded with that for good behaviour.

Im sorry thats a lot of waffle and not much use.

Posted: 20 September 2007 at 5:54pm | IP Logged

Yeah i have got a support though huntingdon behavioural sciences (hubs), but they just say ignore the bad praise the good, you can't tell him off if he don't know why as it's part of the impulsivity he just does thing because he can, even though he knows its wrong, he's mortified too at what he did as soon as his leg came down......

He's normally like how you saw yesterday madz 50% of the time the rest is complete lack of attention (the attention span of a nat comes to mind), he's so easily distracted it can take 30mins plus to get some shoes on.

I've tried sticker charts, tried rewards and i've tried to get him to focus but he just does things for no reason. I've done a check list to get ready for school but he get's side tracked with the idea and looking at the chart as sometimes he'll go to the chart and look see what he needs to do walk 5 steps and completely forget! Part of his condition is that he can sometimes do things automatically like cut his food etc but other days i have to teach him all over again how to hold a knife etc.

As for the argos thing thats fine he loves it, often takes it to the loo but then for example he'd forget why he'd gone to the loo and be asking mummy i want this no this etc.....

I'm meant to be attending a mums group to discuss the ways of disapline etc but all i feel like is a bad mum and i don't really want to go and be judged as i can't hide behind kristian as they run a creche for other siblings....

Sorry I'm just upset got him settle upstairs in his room doing homework whilst i try to compose and calm down.