Joined: 07 June 2006 United Kingdom Posts: 4165 Gender: Female
Posted: 13 October 2007 at 9:53am | IP Logged
erm...ex was there when i had tasja...kept trying to be bossy..which doesnt work with me...
joe was there when i had isla...was more amusing for me than anything. Was a full 28 hours and he stayed the full time..bless him. When he started to wind me up id send him outside to have a ciggie and make phonecalls lol.
He erm went pale when invited to see the business end...all i could hear was omg omg omg its got hair omg omg...
Mind you i was off my face and thought the cat was in the room with us..and god knows how many hours he tried to convince me that the cat wasnt in the room...the gas and air coming through sounded like the cat purring...most disturbing lol.
Joe cut the cord, held his brand new baby girl...while they were sorting me out...and promptly fell asleep..was very funny.
Joined: 05 July 2006 United Kingdom Posts: 2389 Gender: Female
Posted: 13 October 2007 at 12:09pm | IP Logged
My dh was there with me throughout all 5 of my labours! He didnt really do anything much.. but just him being there made me feel less stressed out and relaxed especially during the last birth, which i couldnt have got through if he wasnt with me. He also has a needle phobia, and cant stand blood so with me being Rhesus negative blood group.. i had to have a fair amount of blood taken at most mv appointments and in hospital sooooo he spent most of the time on the loo with his head between his legs and nurses fussing over him more than me He did have a quick peep just as they were being born (very brave of him) lol and he cut the cord with Mia before nearly passing out! So i give him his due's... he tryed to be involved, but was there mainly for the hand squeezing and abuse taking pretty much. But i couldn't have done it without him. x-x-x
Joined: 22 November 2006 United Kingdom Posts: 1595 Gender: Female
Posted: 13 October 2007 at 4:45pm | IP Logged
Dh was with me for mine, although during the early stages spent most of the time getting stuff from car, seeing to my dad who had arrived from Bradford and needed to go to our house. When I was pushing he gave me a running commentary on the progress! After swearing blind he'd NOT be at that end lol. It was great habving him there, but I know he didn't know what to do for the best, and I think if he'd been all hand holding and back rubbing I'd have told him where to go! He cut the cord and held him whilst I had a bath. It was hard seeing him go when I got to the post natal ward, as I was scared about being all alone with my new baby and not having a clue what I was supposedto do! Wouldn't have missed him being there for the world. Its a good job he was ok, coz my back up birth partner, my mum, was still on the M62 when I had Ben!
Joined: 24 April 2007 United Kingdom Posts: 1937 Gender: Female
Posted: 14 October 2007 at 10:57am | IP Logged
My ex-hubby was with me for both the girls' births - was really supportive - very laid back about the whole thing!
Dh with me for Cameron's birth - when my waters broke he had just finished a nightshift up in Lossiemouth, and had to jump in the car and drive 3 hours down to Fife! He was quite apprehensive about it all - he's squeamish - but ended up down the other end having a good look while Cameron was born. He did drive me mad for the first couple of hours, following me round the room while I paced, trying to mop my forehead with a cold flannel - til I eventually told him to get lost! lol
Joined: 27 February 2006 United Kingdom Posts: 2259 Gender: Female
Posted: 14 October 2007 at 2:12pm | IP Logged
Dp was there for my labour with ds but after 72 hours he couldn't do the emergency c-section so my mum came in, while my dad tried to console dp as we thought we were going to lose ds at one point, but he managed to do the first feed after the c-section though.
Dp was there the whole way through with dd and couldn't have been better, apart from saying "can't you feel their hands in there" , i was having a planned c-section at the time. He even managed to go and pick up our new car that day too and return to visit after, and when the next day dd was found to be really poorly he would visit nearly all day everyday and manage to get the other 3 kids sorted too, and when he wasn't there he would phone me to see if we were alright.
Joined: 18 April 2007 Canada Posts: 290 Gender: Female
Posted: 14 October 2007 at 4:17pm | IP Logged
Dh was with me for our first. I was induced so he stayed all day. Never went down the business end. Was kind of encouraging but really didn't have a clue what to do with himself.
My 2nd was born in Dubai, men were not allowed in until you were a good 4 cm... I found this very difficult and called my doctor out of prayer to break my waters She was not happy but I had not progressed in 12 hours and I had had enough. David was allowed in to the deliver suite thourgh a seperate mans door. He was a great help as when I wanted more pain relief and I was told to prayer to allah and that I had a low pain threshold ( I was 9cm He told the doctor he would punch her in the face and we will see what kind of threshold she had
With my 3rd I started on my own during the night,,, and given that the other two were long labours I told David to drop me off at 8am and stay with the kids and to get our friends round at 4pm to watch the 2 wee ones. At 10 am the midwife asked were Dh was I told her he was returning at 4...quite frankly I was pleased of the peace and quiet! She got on the phone and told him to get here ASAP. Holls was born at 1pm.
Even though David wasn't particularly useful (He made me laugh all the time when I was in labour) I am pleased we have the memories of the labour and our babies first few moments.
Joined: 15 December 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 4410 Gender: Female
Posted: 14 October 2007 at 4:48pm | IP Logged
Well i had a c/section no real labour. Kev was useless even in the theatre. He sat behind me as he is really sqeamish so my community m/w came along and sat and held my hand while they did the op. xxx
Joined: 17 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 5013 Gender: Female
Posted: 14 October 2007 at 5:55pm | IP Logged
Df was with me both times.
With Harrison he kept making ladish remarks about me dilating but then got serious when he saw the head and was like OMG OMG lol, I was more relaxed than him.
Second time round i was in agony but my labour was rapid so he just kept saying to the midwives it's alright she's done it before it'll just spit right out Which he got an almighty thump for.
So to answer your question he did help a little as i got something to focus my pain on and to inflict my pain to him
Joined: 04 October 2006 United Kingdom Posts: 881 Gender: Female
Posted: 14 October 2007 at 7:18pm | IP Logged
My DH was mostly excellent. I certainly wouldn't have liked to have done it without him, and I wouldn't have wanted anyone else there.
His finest moment was when we were going to the hospital when I was in labour with Joe (about 3:30 am), and I had a mini panic attack in the car park about having to go through it again, and said that I just couldn't go in and I sat on the floor! He was so worried that he was almost crying, poor love, but really reassured me that he'd be there and I could inflict as much pain on him as I needed, but I really must go inside. Now. Please?
His worst moment was when I was in labour with Ethan (no 1), and the only thing that helped at all with the pain of each contraction was when he rubbed my lower back really hard. After a couple of hours of doing this every few minutes, he says "blimey, my hand really hurts, I don't think I can do this much longer!". I nearly asked for a divorce right there and then!
Joined: 12 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 8789 Gender: Not Specified
Posted: 02 December 2007 at 10:03pm | IP Logged
My ex husband was there for both labours. He was calm and supportive. Cut the cord both times and after me was the first to cuddle and weep with joy over his little boys.
He may not have been the best hubby, but he's always been a brilliant father.
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Topic: Was your birth partner a help or not
She was not happy but I had not progressed in 12 hours and I had had enough. David was allowed in to the deliver suite thourgh a seperate mans door. He was a great help as when I wanted more pain relief and I was told to prayer to allah and that I had a low pain threshold ( I was 9cm
Which he got an almighty thump for.
