| Posted: 01 November 2007 at 2:46pm | IP Logged
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Hi madz, thanks for the offer and i will bear you in mind if i need help. But you have your life to live and a poorly eds. I wounldn't want to take his mummy way from him when he's feeling icky.
Going into the hositpal for my physio appointment this morning i was looking forward xrays so i could find out if it was dsp or spd, as my physio has always speculated its the first one.
As for my fall i'm sure i'll be ok, physio didn't seem to care or want to know and i can't be arsed with gp's at the moment! She checked me out for the first time in 8mths and said that i was extremely tender in my bits (noooo never) and that it was all level which is good, but as soon as i try and move anything i'm screwed!
She then cancelled the xrays as she doesn't think it's important or nessecary as she wants to leave me be till i've seen dr m on the 22nd november and she'll ring me the next week to find out his plans! This was all on top of a very painful and slow walk to the entrance as they've shut the closest car park to them.... mustard!!
So a waist of bloody time she pulled up an old xray and said there was a gap there but couldn't tell me if it was significant as she said it might be a normal size of gap for you but might be huge for someone else.... chicken fudge!
On my way home i don't remember the journey and i know from my feelings i remember driving ahead thinking it would be so eay to crash right now, no kids in the car and i'm sure they'd be better of and have more fun if i wasn't around, staring ahead at the road and not concentrating as i normally do..... Don't panic ladies..... once i realise this is how i was feeling i pulled over and stopped the car got out and got a drink out from the boot and sat there in the grass having a drink and it snapped me back to normal...
My gp knows this is how i feel and she believes that it's all down to my hips and both her and my physio are pinning there hopes for my mental and pyhsical status on Dr M!
I just hope he can do something to help me... I know it's selfish but i can't wait much longer i'm getting so low, worrying and getting so anxious all over being near people and having contact, i want to hide away and let no one close and i know it's silly but i can already feel myself trying to push people away and i do find it difficult to talk on here somedays, as i just want to hide in the back ground etc. But i know it's not good and at least this way i can hide behind the laptop etc.
Sorry i hope i haven't worried you all unduely i just wanted to be honest and i'm really trying not to bottle it all up.
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