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Posted: 15 November 2007 at 1:49pm | IP Logged

Hi all i'm not sure if i've posted this in the right section, but i need to get something off my chest,

My dp and i used to be at it constantly and even now he's like a dog on heat.... I can't seem to get him to understand that i'm feeling low and unattractive as my hips are bad and i don't want to start something which i can't finish... well since he's come back from the sleep clinic i've not recognised him, he's kissing my neck (which is annoying and tickles) when i'm trying to wash up or do his lunch etc..... and last night i thought ok i'll try but we tried every postion we couldn't get comfy every thing hurt, from touching to the intermate things..... he knows and is scared of hurting me but we both get so frustrated that i'm failing him in the bed room (he hasn't said i am but i feel like it big time), we talk and are really open and frank but i don't know what to do as he's a man and needs/deserves to be freed to some extent.

Please don't get me wrong the sex isn't the be all and end all of our relationship, i'm just so fed up of not being able to make love and have special cuddles etc.... I'm pinning all my hopes on a pain doctor but i really have great resivations as to wether it'll work, if i could face the procedure (hate any sort i get so worked up) and if it's really worth it in the long run.... i'm fed up to the eye balls of taking meds that do naff all and i want to have sex in my life, i want a normal life with passion and romance not it ending as soon as he tries to touch me due to pain or him getting so nervous and scared of hurting me that he's shaking!

It's all doing my head in, sorry all i just needed to vent as this all doing my nut in.

Posted: 15 November 2007 at 2:27pm | IP Logged

Awww, I'm so sorry this is going on for you both. He sounds like a great dp, but there are other sides to sex other than the actual intercourse act.

Don't beat yourself up about it, try and have a very honest chat with your dp and see what ideas you can both come up with. Good luck, xxx.

Posted: 16 November 2007 at 12:34pm | IP Logged

Sounds like hes an understanding bloke...which is great..there isnt to many of them out there.

Have a chat..see your doc...itll take time chica you know that but eventually someone will find something that will help you out.

I do know how you feel though..at times i feel like a complete freak of nature...there was us at it all the time...then that was curtailed by first set of surgery...then seriously put a stop to with chemo..was dodgy for him and i was to 'fragile' to cope with it..then burned really badly...and now this...i give up...i think i can vaguely remember what normal is lol.  Its tough and its rough going and it really winds you up, am about if you need a chat chica