Thinking of seeing a sex therapist

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mum2joshua
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Posted: 29 November 2007 at 7:00pm \| IP Logged

For a long time I have experienced pain when I have any form of sexual activity. If I have intercourse then I even experience bleeding and immense discomfort. My consultant has told me this is due to my PCOS, and once those symptoms start to subside then sexual activity will be more comfortable. I've had a full check to make sure that its nothing more sinister so I know that its nothing major.

My PCOS symptoms have this month been much better, to the extent I dont remember when I last had bad pain! Thing is, I still cant bring myself to have any sexual contact with my ahem 'friend' lol If things get 'comfortable' I have started to make excuses to stop it, or I will just pleasure him and not him let near me. I think I have become scared incase it hurts, and even though I have tried to put it out of my mind and relax I still clam up. I get myself worked up, and last few times I have even snapped at him and started an arguement so that he'd not want it anyway. Im seriously wondering if I need to see a sex therapist to help me more relaxed to try. Ive no idea what sex therapists do, nor how I would contact one. I assume they help people who have developed phobias of sex, and I really think thats what Ive started to develop. Where do I start? I think I'd feel like a right plank going to my GP, should I wait a few months till I see my consultant again? Sorry ladies I know this is a bit tmi, but Im starting to get myself worked up over this and its really not helping the situation.

doubletroublewitty
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Posted: 29 November 2007 at 7:09pm \| IP Logged

Have you not looked on the web? Try and get the ones that have reviews and things. Hun if you are uncomfortable you need to tell your friend so he will know what is happening. He will start to feel like he isn't enough or hes doing something wrong and it will all break down. Try and do things slow and relax. I know its easier said than done. Try and have a small drink to relax the nerves and have plenty of foreplay. Then try and move on. If its still not working i would def look into it. But you have to be honest with your friend babe. With him there to help you can get through this but if you keep pushing him away your just going to have this problem until you do tell someone. Goodluck hunny and you know where i am if you need to chat. xxx

Edited by doubletroublewitty on 29 November 2007 at 7:11pm

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mum2joshua
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Posted: 29 November 2007 at 7:16pm \| IP Logged

He is well aware of the problems, and to be fair to him he gets really nervous too as he knows how much I can hurt afterwards. I just dont know how to tell him, 'its not hurting but Im scared to be with you' it just doesn't sound fair he's already put up with so much and now Im medically getting better he's still missing out :o(

Foreplay is just as bad as the intercourse, just normally doesnt result in bleeding.Even getting myself mentally geared up can hurt, but I think thats a lot to do with the phobia I have started to develop. Its inside that hurts not any particular muscle or area just like really horrible dull pains, sometimes they are sharp, and sometimes I get sore and achey nether regions but normally its just horrible :o(

doubletroublewitty
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Posted: 29 November 2007 at 7:22pm \| IP Logged

I do believe alot of it is physchological (SP?) so i think it will help seeing someone. I think alot do breathing excercises and look into why you have the problems in the first place. I would look into it and i would look on the net. Maybe even talk to someone who has been through a similar things. I'm sure there are websites you can have a look at! xxxxxxxxx

Edited by doubletroublewitty on 29 November 2007 at 7:22pm

Vickimom
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Posted: 29 November 2007 at 8:03pm \| IP Logged

A sex therapist will just chat through basically what you already know! I know the one I saw a few years was very good, but didn't tell me anything I didn't already know and it didn't really help me. Having said that it could be just what you need to sort it out in head. I was referred by my gp.

MumSam
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Posted: 30 November 2007 at 9:01am \| IP Logged

Relate the marriage guiadance organisation have sex therapists you could try contacting them I think they have a website too. You do need to speak to your consultant too though because there is obviously a physical problem that needs resolving too. Have you tried having a few drinks before hand to try and relax. Also try using some lubricants. You really do need to keep communication open with your other half too so he knows what is going on and doesn't feel rejected.

MUM2MAXTOM
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Posted: 02 December 2007 at 9:58pm \| IP Logged

Awww mate, I'm sorry you're going through this.

Like Mumsam says you really need to speak to a medical doctor first, but I can't see any harm with pursuing sex therapy.

Hope you get it sorted soon.

Zo [sending huggles]

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