Parenting Forums

Posted: 10 January 2008 at 12:19pm | IP Logged

Hey all

Have been away awhile as put my back out and can't type whilst lying flat on it. Have tried to keep upto date with you all though.

Anyway, I have a story to tell and I'd like any and all info and input anyone else has regarding it.

My dd Kira (6) has behavioural issues at school, I seem to cope fine with her at home, but the classroom environment really doesn't suit her and she HAS to adapt. The school have let the school nurse observe her during class and I should get some feedback next week from her.

The school also want her to undergo psychological evaluation, I agreed to this last year when she was in year one but it appears that it's only now she's getting toward's the top of the list. We live in quite an affluent area and apparently get less funding than inner city area's!

Basically she exhibit's what appear to be classic adhd symptoms and they appear unable to cope with her. She sounds a different child from the one we know but I do accept that she's always been a handful and hard work and is extremely demanding of my time, but hey she's mine and I love her.

So anyway we got a report yesterday that will be used for the educational pyschologist, and reading it was a bit of a shock, Kira pushes and punches, refuses to do work unless it's something she like's has been known to move furniture in the class and has even had an assault report filled in on her regarding kicking a teaching assistant. She's now escalating into running away when in trouble and has left the school building wanting teachers to chase her all for attention.

So hyperactivity has been mentioned a few times by the staff there and after overcoming my initial horror at the thought there was something wrong with her it really does seem to fit. I've also had her diet mentioned to me on numerous occasion's she has school dinner's atm.

Reading around it appears that a wheat and dairy free diet and the removal of the wicked 7 E numbers has had good effects with other's and these children sound so much like Kira I could cry.

Sooooo do I go for it? Do I completely change her diet (not that it's a bad diet) on the hope that it may work? And if so does anyone recommend anywhere to get good wheat and dairy free range's of foods? Am happy to make my own bread etc Anything if it will help her.

And as she love's her dinner's has anyone any experience with getting a special diet put on through the school kitchen?

Many thanks for reading ladies

All replies received with gratitude

Kate

Posted: 10 January 2008 at 12:39pm | IP Logged

Hello hunny, I totally sympathise with you hunny, my step son has severe ADHD and also we are almost certain that Lewis has it.

Firstly though, how about taking Kira to the docs to get a diagnosis.  They, together with the hv, nurse or whoever, will advise on diet and things to suit Kira so that it doesnt just chuck you in at the deep end, if that makes sense.

I would be very interested to hear how Kira goes, as we cant get Lewis formally diagnosed until hes 3 and then we will get advice and everything else that goes with it.

Good luck hunny xxx

Nikki xx

Posted: 10 January 2008 at 12:50pm | IP Logged

Thanks ladies

I'm rather unwilling to go down the GP route tbh, am a little frightened that the first thing they try would be drug's and I don't want that for her at all.

Omega sounds a good idea anything to sort out her brain!

Think I'm decided to give it a whirl if there's no improvement then I guess a doctor it will have to be, would much rather keep natural and use her diet and behaviour therapy.

Which sweetener's do you avoid?

Thanks

Kate

Posted: 10 January 2008 at 9:24pm | IP Logged

Hi hun

My son (6) has D.A.M.P. - deficts in attention, motor and perception (adhd with co-morbid motor problems).... i haven't really changed his diet as i never have given sweets or been big into e numbers.

My son was diagnosed via the school pediatrician and we've or should i say i've put him on omega3 and it does seem to make a difference to his concentration (but it did take a while to build up) but i do see a difference when he's not taken it. They don't like shoving meds down the children now as it seems to be big in the press etc.

I've had to attend parenting workshops, positive parenting groups, etc to try and learn how to engage him at home and at school and i will say it's hard and very difficult i did feel like i'd failed him somehow but he's now getting better and is now doing school work, is less disruptive etc...... he's got a review coming up in the next 3-4mths so it should be intresting but his class has just voted him onto the school council so he's chuffed about it as he now realises that all his hard work is paying off.

As for the report you've recieved i'd question the school as to why this is the first you've heard about her behaviour being so violent. You need to see what they are doing and how they are disaplining her as it might be a case of why bother i'm only going to fail anyway attitude that my son had. You need to ask about an iep (individual education programme) setting realistic tasks like completing written work, sitting quitely on the mat/carpet and rasing a hand instead of shouting out answers etc......

Have a word with kira about how she finds school, fun, boring etc See if it gives you an idea as to whats going on..... that is if she can stay on topic for long enough as ds can't!!

If you'd like more info or help hun or just have questions please feel free to pm me and i'll get back to you asap.

Take care xxx

Posted: 11 January 2008 at 9:35am | IP Logged

Tsena

Sorry my original post must have been badly worded. This is in no way the first we've heard about her behaviour issues. I dread the phone ringing during school hours incase it's to summon me down there yet again!

Kira doesn't appear as badly affected as your ds she has no motor issues at all apart from an inability to be still. Even when watching TV or reading her legs are never still and she needs constant physical contact, which is lovely from a cuddles point of view but can be an issue when shopping and she waht's to hang off me.

The report shocked me because it put in black and white her issues and her strengths and I had kind of assumed if I wasn't phoned it was a good day....which clearly none of them are, it's the fact they're having to deal with her disruptive and occasionally violent behaviour constantly that really made me get my finger out.

The failure feeling is so true, what did I do wrong etc. Thankfully having another dd with none of these issues reassures me I must have got it right first time and I've done nothing differently so the problem is with her and not me and dh as parent's. The really annoying thing is she doesn't behave like this anywhere but school. My mother thinks the school and teacher's are the one's failing but then grandparent's are biased.

My friend's and family ALL say she's a charming engaging and lively child but she is NEVER violent anywhere but at school, I do get the occasional tantrum but nothing like what they describe to me.

Very interested in this iep would be great to have written down exactly where we're all heading but I guess that will come following our meeting with the school nurse next week. It's going to be April I think before the Ed Psych goes back to her school.

Right am off to tesco's to get some omega 3 it won't hurt and may help.

Thanks very much all

Kate

Posted: 11 January 2008 at 9:50am | IP Logged

Hi hun

It definatly is a shock to get things in black and white..... an iep is set up via the teachers and you can request a meeting to get one set up....it's all about setting realistic goals.

It would be very intresting to be a fly on the wall to see if there is anything triggering her behaviour.... has the school tried giving her a teaching assistant for an hr or 2 to see if it makes a difference....

As for shopping.... can only suggest playing a game like the conga... you push trolley and she pops her hands in your back jeans pockets.... either that or have a game of tieing a scarf round your wrists (one each) and being linked like that and making her feel like she's your hands.....?

Good luck and keep us up dated. xx

Posted: 11 January 2008 at 11:00am | IP Logged

My  7 year old is on the Autistic spectrum. We have seen several specialists (including one at Great Ormond st) and we have now put him on a Gluten and wheat free diet. I have to say after about 2 weeks we saw a difference.

Like you I wanted to try everything before we went down the medications route. Could it be that your daughter has got sensory overload?

My son had this.... and reacted badly to an over stimulating environment. Basically his brain sent signals out to his wee bodies saying where am I, what am I meant to be doing. So he would try and use as many senses to give his  brain the information. Basically he would go mad in a new stimulating  environment, he would start running about,  he would touch anything and everything. He would not just touch the carpet he would roll about on it. He would lash out in fear and frustration.

Now this no longer happens...we  have got him on his wheat and gluten free diet. Evidently both Wheat and Gluten act like morphine in the brain and if you have a wee person who is senisitive, they  can dull there senses sending there brain into overload  

I also use body brushing and joint sensitising activities. I firmly beleive his diet was the main issue. I think certain children have sensitivities to food and I have been blessed with one of them!

Good Luck..need anymore info just shout or PM

Posted: 11 January 2008 at 12:07pm | IP Logged

Feel loads better knowing I'm not alone.

I am going to try making her some bread as the bought is very stodgy, any ideas where I can find gluten free sausages? we have a family film night with hot dogs and popcorn each saturday I can make her rolls but the sausage is a bit beyond me! I really don't want her to feel left out or different.

Seems a huge adaptation to make do you find it easier as time goes on?

Thanks again

Kate