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Posted: 30 January 2008 at 4:01pm | IP Logged

Hey All,

This is a long rant- sorry Well I'm currently back in the role of Action Woman amongst the parent's up at school. Basically since September, our Jessica has been plagued on and off by the emotional and physical torment of a little git up at school. His name is Ryan and he's in Jessie's class (he's a year older than her, but she's in a year 3/4 class so he's ended up with her) It started off with just name calling, but over the last month or so it's got progressively worse. He's had her in tears by mocking her in front of her other classmates because her Mum (ie Me) is 'big,fat and ugly'. I told her to ignore him, so he's then progressed to calling her names and taking the mick out of the fact her Dad is Scottish (why that's a big deal, is beyond me) As well as the tormenting and mocking, hes kicked her, elbowed her and pushed her on the floor (once resulting in her dropping her lunch tray all over the floor, another time resulting in hr falling into the metal lunch box rack and bruising her arm) DH raised the subject of this little *swear word* when we went to the parent's evening before Christmas and Jessie's tutor teacher said he would sort it out. Ryan did seem to leave her alone for a couple of weeks after that, however over the last month it's all kicked off again and we've gone back to conversations about school that result in Jess saying "Yes Mum, schools been OK. I had chicken and veg for lunch, I got 8/10 in my spellings... oh and Ryan's pushed/kicked/ me" or "Ryan's said *this* to me and upset me again"

Anyhow, after the conversation arising again last night, DH was absolutely furious. He waited til Jess had gone to bed then informed me he was off up to school today to wait outside the school gates and "sort the little *bleep* out!" I managed to calm him down and told him, I'd go see the school teacher again. I couldn't get hold of the Headmaster this morning, so instead spoke to the Deputy Head who was on the school gate welcoming the kids in. I told him what had been going on and also that we'd previously had to speak to school about the same thing. He said he'd "Have a word himself"- so I decided to leave it at that for now. As I was walking away from the school gate, one of the other Mum's I know asked me what was wrong, so I told her. It turned out she'd also been to school recently about Ryan bullying her son. Apparently Ryan has some behavioural problems, and his Mum and Dad and basically 24 hour workaholics that are not really that interested in what he's doing at school.

Gradually (between a combination of other Mum's arriving and overhearing, and some Mum's arriving who I already know personally) a rather large group of us ended up stood talking in the school yard. It turns out at least three other Mum's have been and complained about this boy and a total of eleven parents have admitted to having concerns about how this boy's behaviour is affecting their child at school) After spending half an hour listening to some of these Mum's talking about their Husbands threatening to slap the little so-and-so, and then others talking about their kids not wanting to go to school because of Ryan, I came home absolutely gobsmacked.

I've spent all afternoon dwelling on what to do, and in the end I've typed up a letter to the Headmaster stating the severity of the problem and my concerns, and adding to it a list for parent's to sign to say that they agree with what I'm saying and feel that action needs to be taken by the school to stop this boy continuing to have such a negetive effect on their kids. I took it up to school and so far have five signatures, plus my own. It's also been taken home by one Mum who is going to sign it herself and then pass it on to the other parents who she knows to have children that have been bullied by this boy.

I don't like having to take such formal action, but unfortunately the school just don't seem to be taking the situation serious enough. It's all well and good sympathising with a child with learning difficulties (I do myself) but the overall welfare of the rest of the kids also has to be taken into consideration. I'm sure the school must be sick of hearing me cos I always end up being the ringleader if petitions/group complaints become necessary (I lead a group of us that got an article published in the paper about the local theatre cancelling our kids Christmas pantomime three times, each time at just a few minutes notice) What can I say... I tend to be inclined to action as well as talk lol

Posted: 30 January 2008 at 4:06pm | IP Logged

Good for you ! What a good relationship you have that she felt happy to come to you and say what has been going on.

I think the wee lad must be acting out because it's the only way anyone notices him. Not fair on your DD though. Hope you get this sorted out, xxx.

Posted: 30 January 2008 at 6:36pm | IP Logged

Good for you hunny! I'm like you normally the one who sorts things out! He obviously needs to be sorted out!

Its terrible that he is pushed to one side by his parents it just shows how kids react! But its not just him that suffers its everyone around him!

I hope they take it seriously this time around and get the problem sorted xxxxxxx

Posted: 30 January 2008 at 7:38pm | IP Logged

You sound like me. I dont tend to sit on the sidelines (example - front page of local paper on breastfeeding rights).

I say good for you, this needs to be sorted. I was bullied at school and I know how horrible it is! My school were useless in dealing with it and in the end my parents pulled me out of school and I changed schools.

I have to say though I think the problem lies more with the parents than the child and I really hope that the school can force some change.

Posted: 30 January 2008 at 7:55pm | IP Logged

I agree completely and I have to say I do feel a tad guilty feeling so bloomin angry with this kid cos the situation isn't really his fault- however my own maternal instincts have of course kicked in and my main priority is making sure my Jessie isn't suffering. TBH on thinking about the whole situation more, I don't think it would just be for the benefit of the other kids that this situation gets rectified. At the end of the day this boy is supposed to be at school to learn, and he's obviously not learning very much while he's too preoccupied on bullying other kids and disrupting the classroom. I'm just really hoping that when I hand this letter in, it makes the staff (and his parents) sit up and listen and realise what a huge issue this actually is. I'm also thinking about sending a copy of the letter and signatures to the LEA because from what I've been told, the school has to have their support for any major action to be taken so it would be beneficial to everyone if they were made aware of the situation and how strongly we (the parents) feel about it right from square one.

I'll keep you informed as to the progress of my little protest...