Parenting Forums

Posted: 18 February 2008 at 7:35pm | IP Logged

Lewis just seems to be getting naughtier and naughtier.  He has stopped listening to me full stop and just does what he likes and now is starting to disobey Kevin.

We thought that letting him run around the garden, on the trampoline etc would burn him out - wrong!!  He still cant sit still and hes still waking during the night and very early in the morning.  I'm seriously at my wit's end.

However, Kev went to the docs today as his back is severly giving him jip, and Lewis had the tantrum of tantrums in the waiting room and just ran riot despite Kev's attempts to control him.  Kev eventually warmed his backside.

Anyhoo, at teatime Kev gets a call from the doc herself, shes refered him and Lewis to Social Services for assements on their behaviour!  As you can imagine I am beside myself, but I know that something has to be done as its the same all day everyday and as you can imagine, both me and Kev are exhausted as well as in constant pain with our conditions.

Im know hes full of energy, but he has so much that its not normal - even for his age.  Im scared but relieved if that makes sense, and its always at the back of my mind that they are gonna take him away, I don't know if its just me or not.  I love him so much, I would do anything for him, I would die for him - as you would for your lo's.

Plus MIL is here too, which makes it twice as bad because she's always sticking her nose in would relish something juicy to take home and gossip about.  I feel like a complete failure, I wish I wish I wish I could keep up with him and take him places and do stuff.  Its torture.

Well done if you got this far and thanks for listening.  I will keep you all updated during the coming days/weeks.

Posted: 18 February 2008 at 8:07pm | IP Logged

Awww hun when it rains it pours.  I know this may seem like a daft question, but how is Lewis responding to Kev since his bum warming?  It could be that Lewis is just hyperactive and severe restrictions on his food may be all thats needed.  Good luck hun and keep us informed, I am here if you want to chat!

Posted: 18 February 2008 at 8:34pm | IP Logged

    Nikki, you are not a failure, you are a great mum who is doing the best you can.Bringing up children is not easy even when both partners are fit.

     I know it might seem hard just now and of course the phone call from the dr will scare you, but no way will they take Lewis away from a caring loving environment. I really hope that social services will be able to offer you help and advice that you need and deserve.

    Sending you huge hugs and you know where I am if you want to chat,rant etc. Love Nicky xxxxx

Posted: 18 February 2008 at 8:49pm | IP Logged

Hun,

Firstly big hugs..... i think you need one.... misses are not a failure you need some support from the people with the know.... as for mil she'll be gone soon, i know it's not soon enough. I have had social services involved before but it was for behaviour again....

Hopefully they'll be able to see how much pressure your under with yours and kevs health issues and hopefully they will be able to get you some help for lewis and to start the route of getting him diagnosed etc. They won't take him away from you hun but i did worry about this too, if you didn't be worried i would be suprised.... i think it might help but it would have been nice if the doctor had considered that lewis might have a problem other than just pointing the finger.

Good luck hun...... you know where i am if you need me xx

Posted: 18 February 2008 at 11:59pm | IP Logged

Nikki you are not a bad mother. I think its wrong that you cannot disipline your children. This is most of the problem with the population. Theres a difference between a naughty smack and beating.

My girls get a smack if they have been naughty and they have both had a few this week but they are settling down again. Most kids go through this stage they like to test how far they can push you.

They won't take him off you so relax and as for mil tell her to butt out...

Posted: 19 February 2008 at 5:23pm | IP Logged

Thank you everyone for your constant support, I am in a better frame of mind today.  I spoke to someone at work today, who used to be a child behaviourist (sp?) and she reassured me that social services will be there to offer help and support, not to take my son off me.

I have also made an appointment with the doctor for both me and Kev to discuss what is going to happen and also to try and set up a support network, I am also going to request to change my HV, as you know the one I currently have is as much use as a chocolate teapot.

I will, as always, keep you all updated as and when is necessary.

Thank you again for always being there xxxxx

Posted: 19 February 2008 at 8:00pm | IP Logged

Awww hunny hopefully they will sit up and take notice of the daily battles you have with lewis.... i think changing your hv is a good plan too.

Good luck hun

Posted: 19 February 2008 at 8:08pm | IP Logged

Well if giving a kid a smack for being really naughty means they take them off you.... all 3 of mine would be in care! I dont agree with beating them with a big stick, but they certainly feel my hand across their legs if they deserve it! no matter how big they get!!

You have taken the right road in making appoinments at the docs. You need help with managing Lewis s behaviour and any suggestion would be helpfull.

As for mil tell her to go " boil her head in a bucket of......." you know what the rest says!!!

You know where I am chicken if you need me, any time of day or night.

AND IF I HEAR YOU SAY ONCE MORE THAT YOU ARE A BAD MUM, I WILL COME UP THERE AND WARM YOUR BACKSIDE!!

luvya

Jain xxx

Posted: 20 February 2008 at 8:55am | IP Logged

aw babe.. i agree with everyone else, your no bad mum nor is kev a bad father!i really hope your get the support you need from social services and may be this is all a blessng in discise.

xx x