Parenting Forums

Posted: 22 February 2008 at 5:07am | IP Logged

My child won't sleep. Tom has been awake since 3:30pm and won't sleep in his own bed. Since being ill I've been quite naughty and allowed him into my bed, but now he thinks it's the norm but I don't want it to be.

He seems really insecure too, but I don't know why.  Tom gets cuddles and loads of attention, but he always wants more, more, more.  He is so demanding.  I can't do anything without him being there and if he doesn't get attention he makes out he's hurt himself!  I'm not exaggerating about the clingliness either, he literally strangles me his hugs are so tight. 

If he falls asleep in my bed, I'll put back him in his bed but he'd always wake kicking and screaming.  He's always saying he wants me, he wants me, but I need a break.

The boys and I went with my parents to Twycross Zoo at the weekend.  You'd think Tom would love it but all he did was whinge.  If he didn't get to see what he wanted to see then he'd throw the most horrendous tantrum.  It was tiresome, I could see my mum getting narked and poor Max got left out because everyone was trying to contend with Tom.  Mum took Tom off for a chat and apparently he told her he was sad because, "Mummy, smacked my bum".  Well, yes I did, because he was so bloomin naughty!!!

I'm exhausted and stressed.  I'm worried sick about the house and the renovations that need doing.  Money is always on my mind - there's only me.  Mum is great, but even if she'd just offered to have the boys one night so I could sleep would be a help but she hasn't and I don't like asking.  I'm also applying for another job so there's pressure there as well.

But Tom's always been a feisty little sausage so I don't believe for a second that he's picking up on the tension.  However, I do think we've got into a vicious cycle with his behaviour and it's getting me down.  I'm even shouting at him now-he's doing my nut in.

I know there's nothing you guys can do, but it helps just getting it off my chest. 

It's now 5pm.  Don't think there's any point to going to sleep now...

Posted: 22 February 2008 at 10:25am | IP Logged

Aww hunny i know how you feel at times. I have been through something like this recently.

I have now started doing time out when they are naughty and they have a sticker chart for when they are good. When they get 10 stickers they get a treat but when they are naughty i take a sticker away and they sit on the naughty cushion in the kitchen.

Can you not try something like this?

As for the bed thing has he got a fav ted. Tell him Ted is all alone and he wants Tom to be a big boy and sleep with teddy in his own bed. Other than that just try the control crying. Now my girls will get up in the middle of the night and get in our bed for a cuddle but they only stay 10 minutes and then get back in their own bed regardless of the time.

Sorry i'm not much help. But sometimes ignoring him might help. If he sees all the attention hes getting when he is bad, this could be one of the reasons so try and reverse it.

I know you know all this but sometimes you can't think straight, i know i have asked for help on here recently. It was Fee who told me about the sticker chart and cushion.

Anyway i hope you manage to find some middle ground hunny.

P.s ask your mum she can only say no!

Tc thinking of you xxxxxxxx

Posted: 22 February 2008 at 1:37pm | IP Logged

Awww bless you hun, wish I could help, but Louise comes into our bed at about 3.00 am and we don't even try to urge her back into her bed ..........

Posted: 22 February 2008 at 2:01pm | IP Logged

Awww hun, how about giving him something special of yours to cuddle ie a t-shirt to wear? He might be waking up once you put him in his bed as it's cold compared to being next to you..... have you tried laying a blanket on your side of the bed letting him nodd off slightly, wrap him up with it underneath him as well, lie him in his bed and say mummy will be back soon just need to go toilet you stay here and be warm.... pop back in and read a book/ play a game on a mobile phone etc till he nods off fully... if he gets out of bed just keep putting him back in..... mummies here, time to go to sleep.... and just keep going it's hard as they will push you till you want to go and take him to your bed, but stick with it....

The teddy thing worked a bit with mine too..... good luck hun

Posted: 22 February 2008 at 10:30pm | IP Logged

Yay something good to look forward too, hope you both enjoy the flick, sorry the kids .

Hope you get some sleep hun x

Posted: 22 February 2008 at 10:57pm | IP Logged

Zoe what do you need a bed for? lol Calm down dear its only me lol cant wait, and hopefully after a good nights sleep you'll feel great. Ive just printed off my aa route map (via an Argos in the middle of no where to pick up a new Wii control so we have 2 lol) I will be at yours by 1pm! Well your mam's lol

Get a good sleep babe and we'll bang all the boys heads together and get them to sort each other out.

Now very important question... red or white ;o)... wine of course lol Or should I bring both lol