Pregnancy Forums

Posted: 03 March 2008 at 11:02am | IP Logged

Hi all

Not sure why i'm posting this but i feel i need to share it with you.... i have been feeling like i want to hide away, not get out of bed (and no not just because of the pain lol), not wanting to interact, wishing my kids weren't here so i could go back to bed and loss of appetite and bless my family if i was having a hard time concentrating or doing something i used to fly off the handle shouting and asking them to get out of my way etc unless i'm anxious and i don't want dp to be out of arms reach.... want to cuddle up on him like a little kid and not let anyone get close.... panic attacks too..... well a good friend noticed though my everyday happy face and dragged me down the doctors where i admitted to suffering and struggling with day to day life, physically and emotionally.... i have been told i am suffering from depression, i'm going to councelling (not sure it'll work) towards the end of march and am on anti d's.

I tomorrow face my first set of injections in the course of treatment for my spd (prolotherapy) and to say i'm not looking forward to it is an understatement..... i'm so anxious and nervous i'm twittering around worse than when we say kids have ants in there pants and too top it all off dp keeps telling me off for not resting! Argh! i can't win.... anyway i've been trying to rest as i've been taking oramorph daily along with my usual mixture..... cutches are hurting my wrists.....  so i'm hoping there's a light somewhere but i'm sitting here going spare and mental can't concentrate on much etc..... my lip and fingers are taking the brunt of my nerves at the mo.... i have a tendancy to bit my fingers and lips when nervous and i didn't realise how bad i was till i got up this morning (thank god for having to take kids to school) and saw them.... eek.....

So has anyone got any good relaxation exercises that don't include food or drink or bath tubs........ i'm not allowed to eat anything tomorrow apart from a light breakfast (which i shouldn't have but am allowed due to meds i'm taking).

I'm trying to keep busy but not if that makes sense..... i want to be cleaning washing etc but i don't want to be told off by my worrying dp!! Help...... thank god for internet....it's one way to get me off my feet and friends..... i'm going round to madz's later for distraction before school.... then i'll go shopping with my boys and then home..... to my last meal! Roast chick! lol..... then i can busy myself with packing bags etc for school and lo who's going to be at a childminder from 8am tomorrow till whenever i get home!

Sorry this is a long rambling rant and all over the place..... eeeek

Posted: 03 March 2008 at 11:30am | IP Logged

Sorry Tsena - no relaxation tips that don't involve the things you've mentioned - hopefully the other ladies will be of more help to you!

Am glad you've been to the doctor - you've got such a lot to deal with on a daily basis, it's not surprising that you're feeling the strain. I hope your tablets help quickly - I had counselling when I had PND, and found it a huge help - just having time myself to think, and someone to sit and listen (I do have good friends to talk to, but it made a difference it being someone impartial).

Good luck for tomorrow - I'll be thinking about you. Let us know how it goes.

xxx

Posted: 03 March 2008 at 12:24pm | IP Logged

Thanks ladies..... it's wierd it's not just the procedure it's getting there, getting the boys to the childminders, what if something goes wrong and they are poorly, what happens if i have complications, the procedure, the waiting, how i'm going to be afterwards....how i'm going to cope the next few days..... so generally i'm a worry wart but i can't switch off..... Argh i wish i was a man! Oh but then i'd prob be dead! Expecially the way they react a cold etc.

 i also really shouldn't scare myself further by reading back though old posts! Eeek

Posted: 03 March 2008 at 12:46pm | IP Logged

Aww hunny, i wish i could come and give you a cuddle. All the anxietes (sp) are normal and no matter how much you try to forget subconsiously you will still be worrying. Just try and take each minute at a time. I know its easier said than done. Will dp be with you over the next few days if you need him to help with the lo's? If not is there anyone who can be around so you can get the rest you need after the injections?

I really wish i could tell you how to relax but i am much like you, i can never switch off. Once all this is sorted hunny you will think what the hell did i worry so much for! Tc xxxxxx

Posted: 03 March 2008 at 1:01pm | IP Logged

Hmmm i'll prob be going well not having that a  beep again!..... As for dp being around urm nope he's a workaholic, he's got late starts from 8am on site till 8.30 so he can drop eldest at childminders for first few days and he's going to try and be home early but don't see that happening as he's working in london all week.... he left this morning at 6.20 and was only just arriving on site at 10am! so if he leaves at 8.30 he'll get there and it'll be time to come home almost, doesn't seem worth it.... but who am i to complain..... after all leaving a bit early to allow for traffic means.... 'i can get breakfast on the way.' Great with me being nil by mouth he'll sit next to me eating a mac d's breakfast! Urgh men!  not sure if he understands just how anxious and nervous i am about it all and he doesn't think it's possible to take the day after off if i'm bad! Well thanks a bunch hun for making me feel loved and wanted! He'll prob fall asleep whilst waiting tomorrow and not realise how wound up i am.....

The only other person who i know that lives locally is madz and i'm not putting her out and having her weighting on me and my lo it's not fair on her or eddy.  I'll be fine it's a case of having too..... i'll just be fudging my huggies big time in silence!!

Posted: 03 March 2008 at 8:57pm | IP Logged

Ohhun, why did u not let me know b4 how you were feeling???? I really really wish I could do something to help and you know where I am if you need me at all.

Im sure everything will go without a hitch 2moro, its just your anxiety, depression etc setting in and causing you to worry more than you normally would.

Shout me if you need me, love n Hugs, Nat & B xx

Posted: 03 March 2008 at 9:13pm | IP Logged

I just wanted to add -

a) stop reading all my old posts about the injections, it doesnt help.

and b) I am here, all day so call me if u need to talk it through or calm down, and i'll be there to look after you and kristian Wednesday so you dont have to over do it.

Just shout if I can do anything else babes!

I'm holding your hand all the way through it, you know that! x

Posted: 03 March 2008 at 9:14pm | IP Logged

Probably because i was in denile and it took someone who'd been there and has had depression to make me see the truth.... took them a while though bless her (thank you). Posting it seems like the natural step.... admitting it seemed the next logical step.

Your probably right but i'm a natural born worrier and it's hard to to worry about the ones you love and what state you'll be in afterwards to look after them, or if they'll be ok without you for so long.

Thanks hun x I'll let you know how i get on x