Joined: 02 April 2008 Singapore Posts: 13 Gender: Male
Posted: 03 April 2008 at 9:14am | IP Logged
Hello to everyone on the forum, I am new to this forum, and was looking
at a section in the forum to introduce myself,
so I thought I'd do it here.
I am a stay at home dad and live in Singapore with my wife and 8 month
old daughter. My wife works for a multinational and is doing well at
her job. When we decided to have our first child we had decided that
either one of us had to stay at home and take care of our baby, and we
were not comfortable leaving her with a maid.
My wife was ready to quit her job and stay home, but she was up for a
promotion and doing really well at work and she loved her job. I
thought it would be selfish to ask her to give up her job and stay at
home, and since my job was not that great, I decided that I would take
a break and stay at home, and take care of our daughter. (I am not to
sure if society has accepted this fact that there can be stay at home
dads taking care of their kids while the wife works) Its definetly not
an easy job at all, and I can appriciate what every stay at home mom
does, I absolutely love taking care of our daughter, and am proud to be
a father.
Even though I am a stay home dad, my wife never makes me feel that I am
sitting at home and she is working, I still make all the decision in
the house in consultation with my wife, and my wife respects everything
I do at home. She takes care of our daughter once she comes from work.
But my friends and family find this really strange. When we go for a
social gathering or party and if anyone asks me where I work and what I
do, and when I tell them I am a stay home dad, I get a weird look. When
I go out with my friends they think i can afford to pay for my drinks
because i am not working. I do work from home I have a small internet
thing going on, but my first priority is taking care of our daughter,
and don’t get enough time doing the internet job.
In fact every parenting forum I go to is full of ladies and moms, and I
wonder how to get in and give my point of view as a dad and a husband,
will I be accepted. Since this forum is full of moms and ladies from
different countries, I wanted to know what you'll think, will it be a
while till people accept this fact, or I need to stay away from these
forums and groups and look for stay at home dad groups.
Joined: 11 September 2007 United Kingdom Posts: 2932 Gender: Female
Posted: 03 April 2008 at 9:33am | IP Logged
Hi herman
Firstly may i welcome you to madmums. As far as i'm aware we do have male members on this site.... We are a very open minded group and we are here to help any member, whether they be male, female or a grandparent.
If you have any questions or worries please don't worry about posting them on here. Also please feel free to share your proud daddy moments.
At the end of the day a family is a unit comprising of any number of people, and which ever one decides to stay home isn't a factor for discrimination but i'm glad you and your wife have found a solution that works for you. There are many mum's on here who if there partner lost their job they would have no problem with swapping roles.... as long as you see each other as a equal and appreciate the part you both play thats all thats important.
I think it's great that you can be there for your daughter, they grow up so quickly that it's nice to cherish them. I think alot of the time when you end up working to pay a stranger to look after your child it's alot better all round to have a health happy family unit where dad or mum stay home.... i'd rather watch the pennies than be way from our child and have a stranger raise them (hope that makes sense)
Take care and i look forward to chatting to you again soon
Joined: 12 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 3441 Gender: Female
Posted: 03 April 2008 at 9:38am | IP Logged
hi there firstly welcome to the site, you will be more than welcome here and im sure you will enjoy it, i think its great what you do for your daughter, as youve already said one of you wanted to be home to care for your her and at that time it made more sence for it to be you, i think years ago a sahd was looked upon differently it was always the man was the bread winner and the mums stayed at home with the kids, but i think its all different now which is great and im glad about, women are alot more career orientated these days and can get really good and high paid jobs i know if i was on better money than my husband then i would have gone back to work and he would of stayed at home (not sure how well he would have coped though lol) even though im a sahm i did work a few hours in the evening just for some extra cash, carl would look after molly then which worked perfect - im currently on maternity leave as ive got a 9 week old but will hopefully go back in september to work evenings, again welcome to the site if you need anythin just give someone a shout someones always on who will be kind enough to help out - keep up the good work you doing a great job, hope to chat soon jue xx
Joined: 29 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 2366 Gender: Female
Posted: 03 April 2008 at 9:39am | IP Logged
hi and welcome to the site,im lauren a sahm to my daughter bronia whos 3. i have to say i have total respect for you being a sahd and totally understand where you are coming from regarding the social views of stay at home parents in general,a lot of my friends are parents and work and at social events etc i often feel people dont apprechiate that just because i do not go to work on a daily basis im actually not just sitting at home being lazy and that i feel im doing the most inportant job in the world by staying home and bringing up my daughter,im currently ttc#2 and fully intend to be a sahm with my next child,my partner has a good job and fully supports us and also feels its just as inportant as i do,if i had a good well paid job and he hadnt id be more than happy to be the earner and he would stay at home with our children although admittedly it does come more naturally to me than him,lol....i think you should be very proud of yourself and your family,different things work for different people and you being the sahd is clearly working for you and your family. hope to see you around the site soon,take care.
Joined: 11 September 2007 United Kingdom Posts: 2932 Gender: Female
Posted: 03 April 2008 at 9:58am | IP Logged
Lol your welcome
I forgot to add a bit about me! lol I'm a sahm to my 2 boys, soon to be 7 and 2yrs and i live with my partner in Cambridgeshire, UK.
I hope you and your family are well, i hate the fact that some peoples views (in the wider world) are stuck in the old fashioned ways.... I think it's great that the children are being put first, after all they are our future and boy the things they come out with are absoulty priceless! lol
Take care hun (sorry i call everyone that, force of habit hope you don't mind!)
Joined: 09 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 2864 Gender: Male
Posted: 03 April 2008 at 10:07am | IP Logged
I'm a full time Stop at Home Dad, my better half Sam aka MumSam now has an excellent job and has worked hard to get where she is now, I have been looking after our Son since he was about 6 months old, his now 3. I don't give a stuff about what anyone else thinks.
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Topic: Are Stay Home Dads Accepted in Society
well said flip, good attitude to have, as long as it works for your family what the hell has it to do with anyone else xx jue xx
