Parenting Forums

Posted: 05 April 2008 at 8:20am | IP Logged

Here is an article i had written on my Blog a few months back would love to here what you'll think about it. We still co sleep with our 8 month old daughter and not really sure  when we are going to put her in her own cot. Any ways I hope this is a good read.

From the moment your child is born, you will have to consider two things, the first is how she will feed, and the second is where she will sleep.

If you do decide to share your bed with your baby, you’ll face different challenges from those that face the parents who opt for a cot. Here is a summary of the main advantages of each choice.

Cot sleeping Means:

• There is no decision to be made about when your baby leaves the family bed. A baby who sleeps alone never gets accustomed to the alternatives.
• Your bedroom remains a place where you can be a couple alone. For many partners, it is vital to have literal space for their relationship.
• Everyone has a good night’s sleep not only the baby, and later on a toddler, disrupt the night so that parents can’t have a peaceful rest. This is more likely to be a problem in later months, as the baby gets older.
• You don’t have to worry about rolling over onto or otherwise harming your baby. You can have a night out, have a couple of drinks, and not have to worry about the baby being in the bed with you.

Co-Sleeping Means

• Your baby has easy and immediate access to the breast. If you are breastfeeding, co-sleeping can be very restful, as your baby can feed straight away, and you can doze. This is also a useful method of ensuring a plentiful supply of milk, as she can feed on and off during the night.
• You don’t have to keep getting up at night to check on her. You might find it hard to sleep without checking regularly on your baby, even when she doesn’t cry. Having her close to you gives you security of knowing that she is fine.
• You are doing something you feel is natural. Some parents feel that co-sleeping is in tune with the ways humans have developed over thousands of years, giving their children security, plus the benefits of sensory stimuli which, it I argued, aid the child’s breathing and development.

Safety Factor

Bed-sharing in itself is not a contributory factor in cot death. However, if you share your bed with a baby you should modify your sleeping arrangements, in order to make it as safe as possible for her. If you smoked during pregnancy, or still smoke now, your baby is more at risk when co-sleeping.

You should make sure that.

• Neither of you don’t take sleeping tablets, alcohol or anything else that makes you drowsy.
• Covers or pillows on the bed cannot overheat your baby, or cover her head.
• There is no heating in the bedroom during the night and it is well ventilated.
• She is lying on her back
• The bedroom is smoke free.

Posted: 05 April 2008 at 9:52am | IP Logged

My DD was always born wanting to co-sleep! Even the staff on the materity ward said it was unusal for a few day old to cry purely to be picked up, but my DD did!

I did co-sleep with her when she came home as she just did not seem to settle otherwise. As my DP smoked back then he would sleep in the other room. He's now managed to kick the habit.

My DD is now 3 1/2 years old and spends at least part of the night usually from around 3am when she wakes in my partner and my bed! That said from 4 months she slept through in her cot most nights until we were made "homless" when she was 13 months. But that's another story.

To be honest I feel that her poor sleep is more because she too is a light sleeper and there are cars coming & going at all hours behind her room rather than the fact that I co-sleeped when she was a baby, although we do have nights like last night when she just did not want to be alone.

Posted: 05 April 2008 at 10:26am | IP Logged

With all of my children I let them sleep with us when they wanted to and sleep in their cot when they wanted to.  I didn't make any decision to do either it was just what was best for all of us.  When they were very little they wanted to be close and I breastfed so that was easy.  Ollie is now 3 yrs old and some nights he wakes up and comes in our bed for a cuddle 9 times out of 10 now after 30 mins he will ask to go back to his bed.

The other thing to remember when sleeping in the same bed is not only should the room be smoke free but neither of the parents should have smoked within the last 2 hours as you breath out fumes on your breath for up to 90 mins after having a cigarette.

Posted: 05 April 2008 at 12:27pm | IP Logged

None of mine have ever slept in bed with my dh and i, apart from when i was breastfeeding them, but even then, i put them back into their cot or moses basket once we had finished.

I wouldnt feel at all comfortable with a baby being anywhere in our bed... even if i was a light sleeper, and was confident i wouldnt roll over onto it.. my dh certainly isnt.. so i wouldnt be able to relax knowing the baby possibly wasn't safe.
Having 4 children, i need my own personal space where i can go for a little peace and quiet and 'me' time, which for me, my bedroom is my sanctuary.
I would find it strange if i had to creep around because a baby or toddler was already asleep in there, especially as all of mine are light sleepers too.

I think this a good topic for discussion, as we all have our own personal bedtime routines for ourselves and our little one's.. and each one im sure fits the needs of the individuals.
It is quite interesting finding out the different sleeping habits of other people and their children.
x-x-x

Posted: 05 April 2008 at 1:26pm | IP Logged

I have to say my first slept with me till he was 6mths at least as he too wouldn't be seperated from me (similar to mumofone) the mw's tried and tried and they couldn't do it in the end they told me to put him in my bed. From the age of 1 he had his own room and at 2yrs slept through.

My second wasn't as clingy and slept most of the time in his swining crib then his cot.... the times i had to night feed or my hips where bad i did a lynie and fed him in bed so i could rest and sleep as needed..... something about breast feeding i used to find it relaxing and used to frequently nod off!!

I think it's upto personal preference and your child. It's all about knowing the risks and making a personal informed decision....

Posted: 05 April 2008 at 1:47pm | IP Logged

We did a similar think to Mum Sam andLynie. All our babies went to sleep in there cot but as I was breast feeding, they came into us during the night and we dozed. I have to say even though this was easier for us...we were both aware where the baby was.

I understand it doesn't suit everyone...but it worked for us.

I think it is quite an intimate thing and really helped me to bond. If I had another baby (which I am NOT) I would do it all again!