Joined: 12 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 5857 Gender: Female
Posted: 11 April 2008 at 4:57am | IP Logged
In the past 2 weeks we've been having odd nights with Ella where she wakes up in the middle of the night and it all kicks off. By that I mean, she starts off saying she needs a wee, the starts shouting that she doesn't want to be in her bedroom and that she wants to be a baby, or she wants to go in to the naughty corner etc. The worst so far was on Sunday when she carried on for over an hour. There was no reasoning with her, no toy removal or threat of no television worked so I left her to shout it out. 1 hour later she was still going, and I heard my neighbour get up so ended up getting up to her, giving her one last talking to and she finally went back to sleep.
Its now 430am, I'm sat on my bed writing this on my phone. she's been awake and shouting since 1am. I've moved her duvet onto the landing and shut her bedroom door to try and keep the sound from next door. She has 2 warnings, which she ignored so I'm now trying to leave her to it. We should have been going to music group tomorrow, but I've told her we're not going.
I genuinely do not know what to do. I've tried ignoring her, but its coming up on 2 hours since I last spoke to her and she's still going strong. I'm exhausted. I'm not sleeping well at the moment anyway and am finding the days hard enough as it is. I have to stand firm and not take her to music group tomorrow because she has to learn that I mean business, but then at the same time I'm making things harder for me. Normally we'd go out, have a Coffee whilst she played with her friends and then go and run round the fields at the farm shop on the way home. Now, I'm going to be stuck in with an overtired child feeling like crap myself. I don't want to ask someone to help, because then she gets a treat of a playmate, which after tonight's performance she doesn't deserve.
I don't know if this is a reaction to be being pregnant, or Angus working longer hours than before or what but I seriously don't know what to do. I won't bore you with my list of pregnancy niggles because no matter how bad I feel I'm delighted to be pregnant and so that's all that should matter. I had been feeling that I was coping with the antenatal depression and was beginning to feel like maybe pnd wasn't inevitable, but then the pathological tiredness kicks in and its hard to fight the feelings.
I past the end of my tether about 2 hours ago, I just don't know what to do. I love her to bits but I just can't carry on like this. Ignoring her is 1 thing, but we are semi detached and its been over 3 hours.
I don't know if anyone has any ideas, I'm just exhausted and desperate. I've got 9 weeks until the baby arrives and at this rate, its the nearly 3 year old that's going to keep me up all night.
Sorry, I've just had it and right now don't know how I'm gonna get through tomorrow, yet alone the rest of tonight.
**Edited by Dizie in the cold light of day to correct hidious spelling mistakes...
Joined: 09 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 2914 Gender: Male
Posted: 11 April 2008 at 7:40am | IP Logged
Jeepers I had no idea things were still so bad in the sleep department and reading this I really think you need to seek some professional help and advice.
I guess most of us have had bedtime and night-time issues with our children at sometime and as you know we have had more than our fair share with Oliver, just like yourselves with Ella however from your description, this sounds to be more, I think your hardest task is going to be to convince a health professional the same, so that they take you seriously and start offering the support you so obviously need.
I wonder if there is such a thing as child insomnia and if so what the treatment is.
Joined: 11 September 2007 United Kingdom Posts: 3057 Gender: Female
Posted: 11 April 2008 at 7:50am | IP Logged
I'm sorry flip but i had to laugh child insomnia i think so! Just wish there was something we could give them to help them sleep. My lo doesn't like to sleep full stop never has since birth and letting him cry it out lasts all night and then most of the day.
The only thing that makes me wonder Dizie is that she's worried she's no longer going to be the baby and the thought of being a big sis is scaring her. I know it's hard but try and give her lots of attention in the day and ignore her when she's naughty (which sounds like you are doing) Definatly contact your HV and ask for some help and support.
I hate it knowing my lo doesn't sleep properly. I hope you get some answers and get things cracked with Ella. Good luck and hugs hun x
Joined: 12 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 5857 Gender: Female
Posted: 11 April 2008 at 9:22am | IP Logged
Child insomnia makes perfect sense to me. I'm an insomniac in many ways, which should be a useful character trait in this case, but I need to have at least some uninterrupted sleep - and that's where Ella's and my sleep clocks don't tally.
I had a letter from the HV yesterday about Ella's 3 year check saying that they won't do one unless I have any concerns so I'm going to ring them today and ask to see them. Its just one thing after another with her, we had a run of a few good weeks earlier this year and thought that things were changing, and now this. I know she didn't get the best start in life with her ear problem, but I'm fairly sure that this isn't whats causing the problem now as she's not making any reference to her ears.
Its heartbreaking as in the daytime, of course she has her moments as all kids do but mostly she is a lovely little girl. But at night time, she turns into Damien. I keep expecting to see a tricycle appear in her bedroom.
Joined: 17 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 3848 Gender: Female
Posted: 11 April 2008 at 9:54am | IP Logged
Arghhghg! What a bloomin literal nightmare. Up here we have "sleep clinics" you can be referred to through the doctor, do you have the same?
Emilie has been getting up and being completely irrational during the night, half sleeping, full on screaming, no talking to her. Alex had night terrors- but not like Emilie. We have to take her downstairs and sometimes leave her on the sofa and shut the door for a while, then one of us goes in a cuddles her. Sometimes the only thing to calm her down is to say she can come upstairs into my bed and have cuddles but only if she's quiet. This (sometimes) calms her down and then she falls asleep cuddling me and then I pop her back to bed.
I think, with Emilie, it's still a bit of wondering where her place is in the family now she's not the youngest. It could be the same with Ella- perhaps she's having vivid dreams. You just need to find a way to survive this and get as much rest as possible. I would call in the help, and you can then get a rest- you'll need to sleep during the day if you can with all that going on at night.
It will pass Diz- they get older and you can reason with them more- and it'll be fine eventually please try not to worry. My mantra at times is "they'll soon be 21"...
Joined: 13 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 8802 Gender: Female
Posted: 11 April 2008 at 10:31am | IP Logged
Flip you are nuts!
Dizie I wish I had all the answers for you - it must be awful for you.
I agree this could have a lot to do with the new baby coming. Have you tried talking to her during the day about why she isnt sleeping and what she's scared about.
Is she napping during the day? Is she keeping busy and getting fresh air to help wear her out?
Does she have a small light in her room?
Maybe try offering a special treat which would really excite her at the end of the week if she can sleep through the night - and remind her during the day when she goes to sleep.
Is she eating or drinking anything different? Any extra chocolate? Caffine? Additives? anything that might be distrupting her sleep?
Ummm I am just jotting random ideas down - I'll come back with any more I have but I think a chat with you HV or maybe even your GP would be a good idea.
Joined: 05 July 2006 United Kingdom Posts: 2389 Gender: Female
Posted: 11 April 2008 at 4:29pm | IP Logged
Dizie, it sounds to me like she could be feeling a bit insecure at the moment, with your baby due soon and is probably just after attention, and trying to go about it in a way she knows will make you take notice of her the most! Personally, instead of ignoring her screaming and tantrums, as that obviously doesnt work, try the opposite.. try to keep things calm and quiet during the night time paddys, and just reasure her that everythings fine, but she and you must get some sleep. Give her a big hug, and try tucking her back into bed.
I would give your hv a ring about her 3 year check, explain her recent behaviour to them and see what they suggest. I hope it is just a short phase she's going through, and that things get better soon. The last thing you need when so far on in pregnancy, is to be loosing much needed sleep. x-x-x
Joined: 30 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 6849 Gender: Female
Posted: 11 April 2008 at 5:35pm | IP Logged
Have you talked to her in the day time about why she doesn't want to be in her room at night time? When she is screaming and acting irrationally she's not going to make much sense, but maybe during the day she'll be able to explain something to you. I remember having the most scariest and vividiest (is that a word?) dreams about my curtains.. that they would grow and grow until they squashed everything in my bedroom.
Maybe you could try a new teddy, or duvet cover. Maybe, 'shall we buy you a *** cover so that you feel all snuggly and safe in your bed and you dont have to get upset at night time' Let her choose a cover with her favourite character on (even if it doesnt match the room theme).
I really hope you are able to find some answers. It can not be easy on any of you right now, big hugz xxxxx
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Topic: What can i do?
I had no idea things were still so bad in the sleep department and reading this I really think you need to seek some professional help and advice. 
