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Forum Start Madmums | Pregnancy and Parenting Forums » Off Topic Forums » Chit Chat

when you think things can only get better Topic: when you think things can only get better

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offline pinkreptile
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Posted: 12 April 2008 at 10:25am | IP Logged Quote pinkreptile

Well im really sorry Ive been neglecting you lately but I really have just been totally having a crappy time. Things were slowly starting to improve, I have had my bedroom totally replastered so as I type this am covered in gloss paint hehe...however, I recently found out despite the fact me n rob have only been split up a cpl of months he is already in another relationship, and to make matters worse, was having sexual relations with this woman b4 we'd even split up. To say im gutted is an understatement....I gave him so many opportunities to tell me there was someone else when things started going wrong and he even took me in his arms and said there never could be. Im really hurt by everything that has happened and have even started having 2-3 nose bleeds a day which doc assures me is due to the stress of everything....

sorry to rant, just really needed to get it off my chest and I love u all so much on here and no you wont judge me xx

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Posted: 12 April 2008 at 10:39am | IP Logged Quote MumSam

Sorry to hear things haven't been so good.  But your life is on the up the other womans life can only surely go downhill.  You have your house that you are obviously decorating and making nice the way you want it.  She is stuck with a man who lies and cheats.  No way to start a relationship if he can do it to you he can do it to her too.  Your best rid of him.
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offline becky84
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Posted: 12 April 2008 at 10:41am | IP Logged Quote becky84

Hi hun im so sorry your having to still go through this nightmare with your ex , ive never been through this situation of any sort so i cant possibily know how your feeling but i did want to say that you should feel abit better by knowing that if he did that to you he'll do it again to her , and also your not the liar or cheat ! This woman may be feeling like the cat thats got the cream but give it time and she'll have that cream on her face and wont be feeling so smug .

I hope this reads as i mean it to and you dont take offence you are going to be a wonderful mum to both your lo's and no doubta better one by doing it without the hassle of this 'man' i hope he still takes an interest in his children .

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offline pinkreptile
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Posted: 12 April 2008 at 10:41am | IP Logged Quote pinkreptile

Quote: MumSam
Sorry to hear things haven't been so good.  But your life is on the up the other womans life can only surely go downhill.  You have your house that you are obviously decorating and making nice the way you want it.  She is stuck with a man who lies and cheats.  No way to start a relationship if he can do it to you he can do it to her too.  Your best rid of him.

I no that, but after an 8 yr relationship it doesnt make it any easier to accept.....especially as he is already not seein brandon very often and its me having to explain why daddy isnt around

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Posted: 12 April 2008 at 10:42am | IP Logged Quote snibbug

I am so sorry you are feeling this way right now, but i second what Sam has said, a leopard can never change its spots, so once a cheater, always a cheater! You are better off without him, and he can't ruin your life anymore! You are taking positive steps to a happy life, decorating your home how you want it to be!

I hope you feel better soon hun xxxxx

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Posted: 12 April 2008 at 12:07pm | IP Logged Quote zanynut

Awwww hunny,

You know how i feel as i know too many of us have been there and brought the t-shirts. My ex see's my son every other weekend but thats only as i had to fight thought the courts for custody.

The point is he fought me all the way and with much reluctance settled for every other weekend over night.... well since the new year kieran has had 2 visits (which involove a sleepover) he cancelled again last weekend and i get the phone call on friday night most nights. I only think he has access to him when he does to keep his parents happy.... a glorified handbag!

Ok i'm waffling....At the end of the day your lo's will understand their dad for who he is...... it's hard when they are young but they unfortunalty learn to live without the heartache but the let downs as they expect it.

Hope this makes sense as i really think i've gone off point, but your a good mum and your doing a fab job..... as for the nosebleeds try to chill out hun he's not worth it..... i know it's hard but you are better off and the years you where together will have good memeories but try not to think of the bad ones..... focus on your kids and yourself hun as you are the important ones!

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offline mamma2bronze
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Posted: 12 April 2008 at 2:19pm | IP Logged Quote mamma2bronze

sorry to hear what yr going through chick,things will get bettermtrust me ive been there,not so long ago either and am now in a new happy loving relationship with a new bloke who is perfect and would never hurt me and loves my daughter as his own and hes a way better daddy to her than sean ever was,you will find happiness,it wont be easy but it will happen give it time...chin up,thinking of you,if you need to talk pls pm me....xxx
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Posted: 12 April 2008 at 3:05pm | IP Logged Quote MumSam

I was married for 13 years and in the end decided to make the decision to leave as I knew our relationship wasn't working and I wasn't happy.  I couldn't put my finger on just one thing being wrong it was just all wrong.  A few weeks after I left my daughters told me they had met Daddys new girlfriend.  Daddy had known his girlfriend for 3 years.  We were a very social couple had loads of friends were always having people around for dinner and I had never heard of this person before.  Yes he had been with her as well as married to me for 3 years.  Now the girls are older and time has moved on I am happy and settled.  I have a good relationship with my daughters, Keith is a wonderful and supportive partner and we have Ollie.  Yes life can still be pants sometimes but I am happy.  Is the ex no I don't think so, he doesn't have a brilliant relationship with his daughters, he argues constantly with his wife, they have trouble with his wifes daughter, he is still not a nice person.  What I was trying to say is what goes around comes around.  Like Sam says a leopard never changes his spots and once the pain is over and time has moved on you will realise how much better off you are, and she will realise what a stupid moo she has been to dump herself with such a man.
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offline MUM2MAXTOM
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Posted: 12 April 2008 at 5:01pm | IP Logged Quote MUM2MAXTOM

Grrrrr - men!!!  Don't get me started...

Normally I would say have a nice chilled glass of wine (when the lo is tucked up in bed), watch a good ole fashioned chick flick like Thelma and Louise while berating men all night with your girlfriends...well it worked wonders with me except I did it with male friends - lololololol


Instead do all the above but substitute the wine for wine gums, and eat loads of chocolate, and billy bonus for you you don't have to feel guilty because you're pregnant.


Wish I could give you a hug.  It does get easier, doll, really it does, but sometimes it feels like you takeone step forward, then something crappy happens and you feel like you've taken half a dozen steps back.

I understand what you mean about having to pick up the pieces with los regarding the questions about the absent father.  My eldest son has started to ask why mummy and daddy don't leave together, and of course it's hard to explain in a non biased way to a child who naturally adores their father, and of course it hurts like hell, but I'm honest.  My ex left us for another woman, he married her 18 months after we split, and sometimes I feel like he got off lightly, but I truly believe in Karma and just desserts and he'll get his.  Meanwhile, I just get on with life (because it's way too short and you only get one shot at it), while busying myself being a mum.  It's only now, 2 years on that I've started to pick up on a social life, I guess now the boys are older and more settled it's easier to have the odd night off now and then.

But you have just had an enormous shock and it'll take time to heal.  While you contemplate all the revenge strategies on him that you'll never implement because you're way too nice enjoy the chocolate and try and stay positive.  Like I say, time is a wonderful healer.

Hugs Zo xxx
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offline pinkreptile
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Posted: 12 April 2008 at 8:06pm | IP Logged Quote pinkreptile

Thanx so much for all your kind words, u really are all such wonderful ppl xx
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