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Posted: 15 April 2008 at 4:10pm | IP Logged

Why oh why can't I just be normal. I'm sorry for doing this but I have to get all this out.

I just feel so sad and there is no reason for it at all. I felt this coming on a few weeks ago but thought I'd be ok as I knew it was coming but this morning, it was like being hit by the depression truck at 90 miles an hour. Had a massive panic attack on the way to nursery and felt like going home but I didn't, so by the time we got there, I was feeling really dizzy and sick. I thought having driving lessons would cheer me up but it hasn't, in fact I don't even think I want to continue with them although I need to cos I will have to be able to drive when I want to go to work.

I just don't know what is up with me at all. I feel friendless and all alone in the world. Great, just set myself off in tears again.

Posted: 15 April 2008 at 4:19pm | IP Logged

aww hazy hunny xxxxxxx huge massive hugs for you sweetheart, you are not alone hunny, we're all here for you.  Maybe worth going to the docs and having a discussion about your panic attacks etc.

Good luck hunny and let us know how you get on - and dont forget - you know where we are xxxxxxxx

Posted: 15 April 2008 at 4:25pm | IP Logged

Hazy i really wish there was something i could say to make you feel better, but i'm neither here no there at the mo either!

Please do not let this get any worse. Like Nikki said pop to your gp and have a word with them.

You know where we are any time you need a chat. xxxx

Posted: 15 April 2008 at 4:28pm | IP Logged

aww sorry your feeling this way sweet, its horrible feeling alone and friendless, aswell as depressed. I can totally relate with you. keep up with your driving though and the fact you didn't turn around and go home dispite panicing was really good.

Do you take anything for it, the depression and panic attacks? Came off mine when i fell pg, big mistake.

hope you pick up again soon x

Posted: 15 April 2008 at 4:35pm | IP Logged

I'm not on any meds and haven't been for over a year. I don't really want to rely on meds either. I can sometimes control the panics but this morning, it just swamped me. I have so much in my life to be grateful for but just can't see it. My oomph has oomphed off I think.

My poor hubby too. We haven't had sex in over 2 weeks now, while I still fancy him rotten, I just can't be bothered with all the sex stuff. I feel awful for him and he keeps being so nice about it which makes me feel even worse.

Posted: 15 April 2008 at 4:52pm | IP Logged

Bless you hun - I sympathise completely.

I have been through similar to you recently - but I am hoping and praying its down to my hips problems and meds. If it doesnt calm down soon I am off to the docs. I use (when needed) Sertraline as it is an anti anxiety as well as anti depressent. It really seems to cut out my panic attacks. I havent been on it for a long time but a long time ago I learnt that if I needed it just to take it.

As for the driving - it bought me out in cold sweats for years, still does sometimes - but its something I learnt to grit my teeth and get on with - I should be passing my test within a couple of months.

At the begining of 2008 I was determined to be happy but when my hips went, I slumped into the depression, now I am determined to pull me out of it! I find I am better on bright days so I have a light box I use to boast my seratonin levels.

Sorry this has turned into a post about me - all I want to say is you are not alone - and it will get there!

(oh and my poor hubby regually goes a month (or longer) without due to my SPD or moods - dont worry about that side of it, your hubby is like mine - very understanding)

Posted: 15 April 2008 at 5:36pm | IP Logged

Awww hun

We all love you  and we all are friends on here, your not alone but i know life can also be very lonely and isolating even when your being smoothered in love. I'm sure the hurddles are getting bigger and bigger, the pressures are growing on us our kids etc but at the end of the day it seems their is help out there.

I'm seeing a councellor and it helps a little but i think a doc would be able to discuss your options and take an avenue which you feel is best for you.....

Good luck hun, admitting it's a struggle and it's hard but your taking and doing everything possible.....

take care hun we're all here for you x

Posted: 15 April 2008 at 8:01pm | IP Logged

  Just wanted to send you huge hugs xxxxxxx and let you know we are all here for you xxxxxxxxx.