Parenting Forums

Posted: 01 May 2008 at 7:30pm | IP Logged

     I am looking for some advice. My dd is 16 and about to sit her highers in the next few weeks . The marks she gets will be the grades she will be putting on her university application forms so a lot rests on these. She did really well in her standard grades so teachers etc are expecting her to do well.

    She is really stressed out at the moment and I don't know what to do for the best. I am doing all the usual things like providing food etc while she is working, keeping her brothers away from her etc. She appears to be suffering from stomach ache constantly which I am sure is the pressure and not sleeping. How can I get her to relax. She knows that she should try her best and we will be happy whatever the outcome. How did you get through important exams. I can never remember this amount of pressure when I was doing my O and A levels years ago.

Posted: 01 May 2008 at 8:58pm | IP Logged

Hugs hun it must be hard being a mum of a teenager with the exams, my son's sats stress him out enough.

All i can suggest is chill out time, make sure she eats a range of foods to give her energy. I know it's hard but long warm baths with her favorite drink (even if it's a j2o or something) and let her unwind and relax..... hope she is sleeping well. (tmi: but is she going no 2 ok? when i get stressed it causes me tum pains and constipation, might be worth seeing doc if it gets bad)

Good luck hun it seems to be all about pressure now days!

Posted: 01 May 2008 at 10:43pm | IP Logged

I remember revising for my GCSEs and am now I currently in the latter stages of my Access Course with a conditional for the University of Manchester if I pass & met certain other criteria.

I remember getting really bad stomach pains before my Music GCSE, they turned out to be constipation due to stress (as my my mum took me to the GP).

Any sleep/stress medication will only impare her as it affects academic ability. I tried studying for A levels on stress medication back in 1995 & just could not manage the work. I needed time to develop my own self confidence & personality. I could rant on for ever on my opinions of the failings of the current education system re stress, etc but I shall leave that.

BTW without trying to boost I passed 2 GCSEs A*, 5 As & 2 Cs. I went down with stress aged 17. However at thirty with a conditional place for University of Manchester next year I'd say believing in yourself, a roof over your head & caring others are so much more important than uni. I was taught at school that you could never be happy without a good job if you were academic. Complete & utter Rubbish, but believe you me it has taken me 13 years to truly believe this.

Here are my tips:

I listened to music first thing in the morning with my breakfast.

Before bed, A warm bath and relaxing drink.

I also found burning aromotherapy oils in a burner such as lavender (to calm down) or jasmine (if I was very stressed). A little warning here though I fell asleep with the burner still lit using jasmine once & awoke to the smell of smoldering cheap MFI table!

Revision wise - 5 mins every 30 mins away from the study desk, even if just to the bathroom was advice I was given. The re-test youself after the break to see if you have learnt it.

Then 30 mins every 4 hours.

If I get "brain- full" I sometimes find it helps to have a music only (no words) cd or similar playing.

Recent recommendations from my access course tutor have been to wear different perfume for each subject and then use that perfume on the exam day to aid recall.

Oh and bed by 10pm on the night before the exam I still swear by this and have yet to fail an Access Exam.