Joined: 05 July 2006 United Kingdom Posts: 2294 Gender: Female
Posted: 16 May 2008 at 7:50pm | IP Logged
I just wanted to add, i think which ever way you do tell her.. she needs to be told to leave off! It's obviously annoying you, and she has no place to raise her voice at your Rachel. If she considers your friendship as a worthy one, she will listen to you and take on board what you've said, however you say it... If she does blow up at you, then unfortunately, you and Rachel are better off without her and her mouth lol x-x-x
Joined: 17 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 3706 Gender: Female
Posted: 16 May 2008 at 11:08pm | IP Logged
Why did she snap at her today? Did she deserve a telling off? I'm a terrible person because I can't keep my mouth shut if i see a wee one misbehaving, its the teacher thing in me I think. My mum sometimes steps in and tries to discipline my two big ones sometimes and I used to hate it, but then I thought about it and remembered when I grew up I was kept in line by the adults around me. If I was naughty my gran or aunty or, come to think of it most adults back in the day would have a word with me- it didn't do me any harm and made me respect my elders.
Also it made me think I didn't like what my mum was doing because it reflects in some way that I am incapable of disciplining my own child. Normally if my wee ones are naughty I'm mortified as it seems to reflect how good a parent you are, but now I'm confident that I'm doing the best I possibly can and their behaviour is just a reflection of their stage of development. And that means I don't mind my kids getting the odd remark or telling off from others- I think it's good for them.
It's up to you- you know your friend and what to do really. If it was excessive and happens all the time I'd find a way to speak to her- if it only happens once in a blue moon I'd just shrug it off if it was me.
Joined: 11 January 2008 United Kingdom Posts: 583 Gender: Female
Posted: 18 May 2008 at 12:12pm | IP Logged
Im sorry but I agree with what every1 has said, you need to tell her. Id be absolutely fuming if one of my "friends" shouted at my son or corrected him. He is MY child and I raise him as I see fit, not how anyone else thinks I should. U really do need to sort the situation hun, as I see it your not really being true to your friendship anyway, as how can you have a friend and be scared of her??? Surely a friend is someone you feel comfortable in the presence of?? I really hope you sort it x
Joined: 01 June 2006 Ireland Posts: 1625 Gender: Female
Posted: 19 May 2008 at 12:07am | IP Logged
Lynie, we were at a place called chuckies play house (in-door slides Etc.) all she did was take a play block off a table were another lady was sitting, her child was off doing his own thing on the slides so its not as tho he was playing with it and my buddy just raised he voice at rach (not shouted) "Rachel put that back". my buddy thought it was something else ?????
This has been going on for a while, Tbh I think it bothers me more that Rach, I had a word with my dd today, I asked her does my buddy give out to her and she said NO. I asked her does she like her and she said yes.
I think I might just play it by hear and the next time she over steps the mark I am going to say "let me correct rach my self please"
I will let you know how it goes and if she raises her voice again I am going to tell her straight out go easy.
Joined: 05 July 2006 United Kingdom Posts: 2294 Gender: Female
Posted: 19 May 2008 at 5:32pm | IP Logged
That incident could have just been an honest mistake on your friends part, if she thought Rachel had picked up someone else's property or belongings like a purse ect. I do feel it would be a shame to go off at your friend if her intentions were only good, especially if Rachel isnt noticing it that must, so if it does happen again, then i'd just have a quiet word with her that you are her parent, and if she see's anything that needs mentioning, you will do it. x-x-x
Joined: 17 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 3706 Gender: Female
Posted: 19 May 2008 at 9:59pm | IP Logged
I can't believe they've named an indoor play place after the main character in a horror film!
To be honest Martha I think that that particular incident doesn't sound too bad. And Rachel doesn't seem to be too bothered or affected by it at all. Perhaps there are deeper issues between you and your friend? If this is the only part of your friendship you find annoying i would probably let it go as raising it would perhaps create more bother than it's worth. One thing I wouldn't do is row about the scalding in front of Rachel as she might then get the message that it doesn't matter what she does when you're not there as no one else is "allowed" to say anything to her to keep her in check. I've seen this kind of reaction from some children throughout my teaching career.
I stand by my previous post and what I've said before- you know your friend and how to handle the situation.
Joined: 01 June 2006 Ireland Posts: 1625 Gender: Female
Posted: 19 May 2008 at 11:04pm | IP Logged
Quote: mum of 4!
That incident could have just been an honest mistake on your friends part, if she thought Rachel had picked up someone else's property or belongings like a purse ect.
x-x-x
Thats all it was, she thought it was some thing else, but it's the manner in which she spoke to my dd, tbh.
I think there are ways in which to do things and to correct a child, especially some one else's child. she just snapped at her really, but it really was out of line. I only know this girl a year.
I just wish I had said it to her there and then.....
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Topic: stop correcting my child
