Joined: 16 May 2008 United Kingdom Posts: 156 Gender: Female
Posted: 16 May 2008 at 6:59pm | IP Logged
Hiya,
I'm 33, married and found out yesterday that i am pregnant. I don't think i am happy about this news although my husband is over the moon so i'm hoping that some of you may be in the same situation as me.
I've never been maternal at all towards kids but ive got myself into this situation and i have to deal with it.
I'm sure most of you will probably dislike me already but i'm here to see if there is any support.
Joined: 11 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 8520 Gender: Female
Posted: 16 May 2008 at 7:05pm | IP Logged
I will say congratulations, even though I know at this moment you may not appreciate it. I was exactly the same as you when I was expecting my 1st, as far as I was concerned my sisters could give my mom her grandchildren. Not sure I can give you any advice, but it's not that rare not to want to be a mom. You do actually have the time over the next few months to come to terms with it, but I would make sure your hubby doesn't keep going on about it, as that won't help you come round too quickly. Concentrate on the positive side of things, rather than the negative, and you should adjust well, if not, make sure you are honest and open with your midwife (if you get a good one). She should be there to support you. HTH xxx
Joined: 24 April 2007 United Kingdom Posts: 1927 Gender: Female
Posted: 16 May 2008 at 7:13pm | IP Logged
Hi I'm Kim, mum to Rebecca 13, Ruthie 11 and Cameron 4. I'm also pg with No.4.
Welcome to the site. It's a huge thing to find out you're pg, even if it was planned. It can take a wee while to get used to the idea. You'll certainly get support here though.
Joined: 11 September 2007 United Kingdom Posts: 2742 Gender: Female
Posted: 16 May 2008 at 7:20pm | IP Logged
Quote: Sticky
I'm sure most of you will probably dislike me already but i'm here to see if there is any support.
xxx
Hi and welcome to madmums..... i have to say why should we dislike you? You're entitled to your own opinion and finding out your pregnant is one of the biggest culture shocks out there going.
I wasn't prepared or ready to have kids... i thought i'd never cope or want to hold one but towards the end once your feel it kicking etc it seemed to change a little.
I can understand where your coming from hun... and what others may not realise (dh etc) is that it's you thats experiencing all the changes, having all the sickness etc, putting your life and career on hold... it's easy sometimes to see the end result and forget the path that we have to take to get there.
All i can say is just take each day at a time, try to sit your dh down and explain that yes he might be over the moon but you've got all these bits niggling at you, together hopefully you can work though this and reach an outcome that's suitable for you both.
Joined: 16 May 2008 United Kingdom Posts: 156 Gender: Female
Posted: 16 May 2008 at 7:36pm | IP Logged
Thanks for all the replies, much appreciated !
There isnt a question of whether i'll have the baby or not, i would never get rid of it, its just something i wouldnt do.
My husband is being really good about it too because he's concerned about me too but ive told him exactly as you have all told me, that its scary and stuff and its me that has to push it out and all that stuff.
God, its only been 1 day since we found out so im sure that i will be fine. I know my life isnt over but i do have to grow up now and i don't want to do that but i guess i have no choice.
I've yet to have it confirmed how far on i am but i reckon around 7 - 8 weeks, i have no idea about this pregnancy malarky, i am totally blind, none of my friends have babies, im never around babies ............
Joined: 05 July 2006 United Kingdom Posts: 2294 Gender: Female
Posted: 16 May 2008 at 7:44pm | IP Logged
Hi and welcome to Madmums! I'm Amanda, i'm 26 and i have 4 children.
Firstly, nobody here will ever judge you for feeling the way you do. We will listen and try to help and advise best we can hun. It takes time to mentally adjust and prepair for the huge change thats going to happen in your lives. I'm pleased that you husband is being considerate towards the subject.. just take your time getting used to the idea of becoming a mother and im sure you will warm to it soon. I hope things work out well for you both. x-x-x
Joined: 16 May 2008 United Kingdom Posts: 156 Gender: Female
Posted: 16 May 2008 at 7:52pm | IP Logged
Thanks alot Amanda, again, much appreciated !
I just wish i could be as happy as David, he is over the moon, my 2 best friends are over the moon for me but they all understand that its tough for me to accept.
Anyway, i need to start researching stuff about what i can and cant do, and everything really, i am clueless xx
Joined: 12 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 8750 Gender: Not Specified
Posted: 16 May 2008 at 8:56pm | IP Logged
Hello.
Welcome to the site.
I went through the same emotions as you've described. My pregnancies were unplanned and I made no secret of the fact that I cried myself silly when I found out. I felt totally unprepared. Then lonely until I found this site.
Like you I wasn't at all maternal. To be honest I don't go gooey over babies now, although toddlers are cute - lolo. I have two beautiful little boys who I adore, but I'm not pining for anymore. Kids are cool, but there's so much more I want to do.
If you want to pm me, please do, but don't worry no-one will judge you on here.
Joined: 17 June 2005 United Kingdom Posts: 3709 Gender: Female
Posted: 16 May 2008 at 10:32pm | IP Logged
Heheh! Sorry for having a chuckle- but your post reminds me of me when I was pregnant the first time.
I was going along happily with life- having lots of fun, doing brilliantly with my career when, one Thursday evening when I was going to pick up my hubby from work I had a spare hour to spend and decided to wander round the local shopping centre. Something pulled me into Boots. I was a wee bit late with my period and had the thought of buying a pregnancy test. I had never done one before and I thought it would kill a bit of time, because surely I wouldn't be pregnant, I mean, me- the thought of it.
I went into the public toilets and weed on the stick as you do. The two blue lines came up straight away.
I looked at the lines and read the box. And did it again and again. No way. (actually recently I saw this scenario on a trailer for some comedy show and thought- that was me!)
I was so unmaternal. I would cringe if ever anybody even came near me with a baby, nevermind having to hold the things. Especially newborns uggghhhhh.
And I didn't have a clue about pregnancy, I didn't even know how many weeks it went on for, what it developed like.....and OH my God, how does it come out. Of THERE. It was a very crazy time indeed. That night, after meeting hubby and breaking the news of the pregnancy with a crazed "Hello Daddy (cue loads of tears and shaking) we had friends coming round for drinks. The whole night I sat there, in my newly imposed state of soberdom ("sorry folks I cant drink, I'm on errr antibiotics") I just kept thinking, every few seconds.... "I'm pregnant." "I'm pregnant." "I am actually at this moment in time, PREGNANT."
Sorry- probably starting to bore you!
Get the Kaz Cooke book " The rough guide to pregancy", it is brilliant. Don't worry about not liking kids because when yours comes along I can guarantee 1,000000000 percent that you'll not have seen such an amazing wee person in the whole wide world and you'll wonder how you did it. You'll not believe that at the moment but it happens. If you have the capacity to fall in love with your dogs you'll love your wee one like you have never loved before. (But you'll not believe that at this moment in time either.)
Welcome to the site- because you are most welcome- and hope to have the privilege of holding your virtual hand and helping you through the mad journey of pregnancy hood.
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Topic: Hi, just found out i'm pregnant !
Hi I'm Kim, mum to Rebecca 13, Ruthie 11 and Cameron 4. I'm also pg with No.4.
and i don't want to do that but i guess i have no choice.
