Pregnancy Forums

Posted: 17 May 2008 at 12:02pm | IP Logged

Hi is there anybody in the same situation as me. I broke up at a couple of days ago with my partner of two years. It hasn;t been stable at times, but I love him so much.  I had a miscarriage last yr and I am now 17 weeks pregnant.  He ended it saying he still loved me, but wasn't in love with me anymore. He then went on to tell me he had been seeing a girl (I know briefly) for ten months on and off and that they were going to be together.

I feel like my whole world is upside down, I love my baby but can't seem 2 get over this. I still want him back but know it is wrong. I have good friends and good family support, but I never wanted to go through all this without a partner!

I have a scan today to determine the sex of the baby, which my parents are coming to. It should of been me and him and we were both so looking forward to! I feel so alone and want to enjoy my time being pregnant with my little bump!

Has anyone been through this and how can I overcome this hurt and pain for my unborn baby's sake

Bex

xx

Posted: 17 May 2008 at 12:07pm | IP Logged

Im not pregnant now, and i know im alot younger than you but i was 13 when i got pregnant and me and bf finished and i went through the pregnancy alone.  Hope everything goes well with the scan. If you partner doesnt want to be with you its his loss and im sure he will see the truth. And no matter what you will still have bubs.

Glad you have some support, stay strong and good luck with everything

Posted: 17 May 2008 at 12:19pm | IP Logged

Thanks for the kind words.

Was it hard work alone? does your child see its father now?

I feel so bad because I don't feel like I am bonding with my bump, I am dreading this scan today and feel so guilty and selfish for feeling this way!

x

Posted: 17 May 2008 at 1:27pm | IP Logged

Ypu are bound to feel let down and you may not bond with bump now but you will do. Bubs is almost 5 months old and sees dad yes, eve though when i was preg he wanted nothing to do with her, they often change when thy see bubs for 1st time.

Dont beat yourself up over it it will all turn out ok.

Posted: 17 May 2008 at 6:52pm | IP Logged

Hi all!

Im having a precious  little girl. Seeing her today made me bond with her more, but also sadden me that my ex dosen't want to know.  Not even a phone call or text to see what the baby is. I guess this should make me realise that he is not interested and that we don't need him!

Im scared for the future and hope I can do a good job bringing her up. Am just waiting to feel her moving inside me! to make it more real

Thanks everyone

xx

Posted: 17 May 2008 at 6:54pm | IP Logged

Glad it helped you bond with her. Any ideas on what you will call your little girl?

You will do a prefectly fine job dont worry. Hopefully her dad will come around when he sees her as well

Posted: 17 May 2008 at 8:21pm | IP Logged

you will b fine hun, so far in this pregnancy iv had 5 scans as well as been taken in due to losing water & attendin 2 appts alone, the others mum came with me, & my ex dint bother enquiring either.

You will do an amazing job with your LO, & as already said, everythin she achieves in her precious life will b due to you xx

Posted: 18 May 2008 at 9:41am | IP Logged

Hi Bex, I have been in quite a similar situation, except when I became single he was completely unsupportive. We found out we were pregnant when I was almost 19 weeks, and he became very distant and some nasty things were said both ways and eventually we split when I was 22 weeks, then I found out he had a finace and other girls too. I did the rest of my pregnancy with only my family for support and they were my rock.

After Joshua was born I tried so hard to get my ex to have a relationship with his son, and he saw him twice when he was 3 weeks old. I then took Joshua to see him a couple of times in the first 3 months but my ex showed no interest and so I stopped forcing the visits on him.

My ex came back into our life when Joshua was 15 months. He showed no interest in Joshua and only wanted to see me, so I told him if he didnt want to make an effort with Joshua then I didnt want to see him. Yet again he left our lives.

When Joshua was 3 a few emails bounced back and forth between us, but still he showed no interest in Joshua. Then he asked me if I would bring Joshua to see him. We made all the arrangements, and I asked him if he was bringing his other children, or his new partner. His reply I can not post here but basically he said he didnt want anyone know he was back in touch with me or Joshua. I put a stop to the visit, I said when he can shout from the roof tops that he's going to meet his son then he could see him. I was his dirty little secret for so many years, my son was not about to become one.

Then last year my ex was given one last chance to make a committment to Joshua. He said he didnt have time for his "proper kids" never mind Joshua as well. So I asked him never to try and contact us again and that he'd only ever hear from us if Joshua chose to look for him. Ive heard nothing since.

I went off on a bit of a tangent, but in all that time I was there for Joshua and Joshua is fantastic little boy. We have a strong relationship, and he has never felt unloved. I have enough love for 2 parents. Finding yourself pregnant and single can be a very scary time, but you can cope. You will find the strength to get through it. You will not be alone, you'll have your family. Once your little bundle is in your arms you will realise just how strong you can be.

Glad the sexing scan went well!

We're all here for you babe xxxxxx