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rainbow24
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Posted: 02 June 2008 at 6:55pm \| IP Logged

Hi everyone,

I am 14 weeks pregnant, just had my first scan last week. I also have a toddler (17 months). Can anyone tell me, Has anyone managed looking after a toddler and a newborn at the same time? My toddler won't sit on his bum for more than 2 mins, he likes to open doors and run out into the hallway, open cupboards, anything except for playing with toys!!!

I am worried I might not cope with it all. Does having a second child put a strain on the marriage? Apart from running around, my toddler sleeps well and is a good baby so hubby and I dont feel that our marriage is suffering in any way, but I fear things will get worse as the newborn comes. By that time my little one will be 2 years old!! Any advice??? Thankyou so much.

RIN1983
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Posted: 02 June 2008 at 7:05pm \| IP Logged

You'll be suprised how well you do cope, you have no other choice really. Once you settle into a routine, which is crutial you'll be fine.

Millions of people have a baby and a toddler or twins and toddlers and they get through it. I think children put a strain on even the strongest relationship at some point but you get through.

When i was pg with ds2 i had the same worries, some days are hard especially when your tired but i found by letting my eldest 'help' by getting nappies or singing to his brother he felt he was helping which kept him occupied for a little while.

MADMOO
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Posted: 02 June 2008 at 7:33pm \| IP Logged

You will get through it hun, and in a few years will look back at how worried you were and grin!! I had twins when my daughter was 2 and although I did most of it on auto pilot I got there in the end!!

It does help asking the older one to "help" though. My lil girl used to hold a bottle for one baby while i sat with her and held the other one!!! She was great at fetching nappies wet wipes and anything else, and even progressed to talking through the letter box to find out who was at the door (thankfully she couldnt reach to open it!!) if it was important i would manoever myself to answer it, otherwise she would politely say, "mummy is feeding my baby brothers, please come back later" !!! she was a star and a half!!

So dont worry!! enjoy.

Jain xxx

MUM2MAXTOM
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Posted: 02 June 2008 at 9:03pm \| IP Logged

Like the others have said you will cope.

Mine are 17 months apart, Max was just starting to toddle when Tom came along. Admittedly it was hard at first, I'd need eyes at the back of my head. Max went through a stage of regressing as well, which was hard to tackle at first. He'd pretend to be a baby, wanting to be fed, and would only take milk from a bottle when he'd already progressed onto a cup. At first we gave in to keep the peace, I mean it was easier, but after a few weeks we started to stop him by praising him for being a 'big boy'.

One way we'd decided to tackle it was to involve Max as much as possible. Bearing in mind he wasn't even two yo his tasks were limited but we still made a big deal out of it. We'd get him to help bath his brother and fetch nappies. If someone was playing with Tom Max was played with too. He'd even end up pushing his bro in the pushchair around the park - boy, that was scary!

It was tough going at first keeping the balance but now I'm seeing the benefits of such a close age gap. They giggle alot at the same thing, usually at eachother, and they share things. They have a very special bond even though they do fight like cat and dog sometimes, but if something happens to the other they get dreadfully upset.

So although it is tiring with two little ones at a similar age there are lots of benefits too.

Hope this helps a little. Zo x

Lynie
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Posted: 02 June 2008 at 11:47pm \| IP Logged

You'll be fine- and your wee one will be fine too. It'll be lovely for him to have a wee brother or sister. Try not to worry and enjoy your pregnancy.

I've a 5 year old, 3 year old and 6 month old twins and actually I'm really enjoying the mayhem at the moment! I'm just thinking these early years won't last long and am trying to appreciate how wonderful it is to be the mum to wee tiny tots with all the joy they bring. My 3 year old had found it hard to adjust to having not just one baby to steal her limelight but 2- so we're trying to work through this and make her feel just as loved and valued as ever- although this can be hard work!

Welcome to madmums too by the way!

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