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Posted: 04 June 2008 at 11:23am | IP Logged

A couple of months ago I started potty training. To begin with he was doing really well and was telling me when he needed to go. However I carried on putting him in pull ups when we went out. In hindsight I have no idea why I did it and it didnt work. He treated them like a nappy and somehow managed to lose the whole idea.

In cyprus it got so bad that we put him in pull ups full time as it was spoiling the holiday and his mind just wasnt on it.

As soon as we got back I put him in pants full time during the day and its worked - but only because I have been sitting him on the potty at regular intervals. If I dont then he will have an accident. With wee's he often manages to stop himself once he has started and tell me he needs a wee. With poos often he doesnt even tell me.

The problem is I know he used to be able to tell me in enough time so why cant he now?

I have just been sorting some stuff in the kitchen, walked out to a smell and asked if he'd done a poo. Yes he said, still playing!

Now I have just started anti d's and have bad PMT and Period/SPD pains today - and I'm ashamed to say I lost it. Shouted at him and came close to smacking him. I scared myself and colapsed into a sobbing mess.

So do I stop and wait for more signs of him being ready - or continue and wait until he cracks it again. I feel like I'm losing it and my reaction earlier scared me. I feel like a failure as a parent at the moment.

Posted: 04 June 2008 at 11:54am | IP Logged

Awwww hunny you're not a failure, i personally would stop and start a fresh when (or if might be a better phrase but you might wait a long time) for the warmer weather.

He seems to be more intrested in play and having fun and going to the toilet in his nappy/pull ups etc doesn't seem to bother him so i'm not sure if he's ready 100%.

Give yourself time to get the anti d's in your system and for things to settle when you get home from spain hopefully it'll be warmer and things will be a bit easier.

Hug hun but know this you are not a failure you have a wonderful son, polite, caring and has wonderful manners.  x

Posted: 04 June 2008 at 1:03pm | IP Logged

You are not a failure, my ds is still not going to the toilet for a poo and he is 4, almost 5,  we attend his hospital appointments and try all the new suggestions but still not much improvement, i used to blame myself all the time but now i have potty trained my dd who is only 2 and she can do it, so its just the indivual child and some take longer than others.

Also if you don't mind me saying so, you are going through alot at the moment and frustration is not what you or Ed's need at the moment, maybe as Zany said give things a bit more time and have this hoilday and trying again in the summer months.

Posted: 04 June 2008 at 1:38pm | IP Logged

Madz, I would wait a while.  I tried Louis a few times before it eventually clicked. Sometime's he'd tell me and others times he'd do it and not even tell me he was wet.  You need to wait until the time is right for you both so it can be a relaxed stress free time, also when you know there is going to be no change to his routine, like holidays or unexpected events.

They all progress at different levels, where Louis was pt quite quickly Harry wasn't pt until he was 3 and a half and that was 8 weeks before he was due to start nursery school.

With harry i had no option but to put him in pants and let him wet, he soon realsied he had to go to the toilet as he hated being in wet clothes.  He soon got the hang of it.  I didnt use pull ups as from my experience of them with Harry they were used as a nappy and didnt help the process at all.  I got training pants from mothercare, they are like a terry knicker but with a pvc lining hidden so if your out and he has an accident he wont wet his clothes.

He'll get it and the one thing i used to tell myself with Harrison is that he wont go to school wearing nappies so try not to worry.  Dont force it.

Posted: 04 June 2008 at 2:17pm | IP Logged

Aw hunni,

I think you're giving yourself so much additional stress and to be honest, who needs it? It doesn't sound as if he's 'totally' ready and I'm sure he'll let you know when he is.  Sometimes, if you push it when they're not 'there' it can actually set them back a little and in the long run will actually take so much longer.  I would relax about it, use the pull-ups etc just now and just wait until he tells you.. You'll proably then find that it goes so much quicker coz your all relaxed about it..  (in the meantime, you'll feel better without the extra stress of continuously checking on him).. good luck with it hun.

I hope you start to feel better with the anti-d's and that your spd gives you a break sometime soon (fat chance of that I know hun but I'm thinking of you)..

Take care,

Jen

Posted: 04 June 2008 at 4:43pm | IP Logged

Madz I really think you should wait until you're back from Spain at least. You said he didn't get it in Cyprus and you gave up with it, so its likely the same distraction is going to occur in Spain, so he'll be getting miixed messages.

Once your anti-d's kick in, and your back from your travels you will be less frustrated and distracted, then you can put your time into it. He may not be asking now because he needs his mind jogging on the whole thing. So when you feel a bit more settled and have a week or 2 weeks where you can concentrate on it start then. He'll soon remember he has to ask, and with less distractions he'll probably pick it up quicker.

Posted: 04 June 2008 at 6:15pm | IP Logged

I would wait  and leave it for a while, How old is little Eds, with Milly it took us a few goes before Milly eventually clicked, and it will but you really don't need the extra stress at the moment. It by no means you are a failure at all please don't think like that.

I'd give it about a month and try again, jog his memory every 20 mins or so, look at a book to give him time to do a number 2 if he hasn't got the patience to sit for a while, Milly wouldn't. Leave his pants off for a couple of days, then put his pants on on third day. I wouldn't try pull ups, i did at first and it just seem to confuse milly, I just kept them for night times. after about a week I finally went to town and she was fine, i kept taking her to loo, she fell asleep, and when she woke i did use a bit of bribery, bought her a big balloon, but it worked.

You will get there madz, good luck and hope the travelling goes ok

jackie x

Posted: 04 June 2008 at 6:57pm | IP Logged

  As the others have said I would leave it for now espeicially as you are going away again and you don't need the extra pressure. Just try and relax about it. Harry was 3 last month. In Jan he started to ask for the toilet and for about 2 weeks I thought we were getting somewhere and then he just stopped. He will go when we put him on the toilet but isn't bothered walking around in a wet or dirty nappy.If I ask him if he wants to use the toilet he says no so at the moment I am not pushing it. My problem is that he needs to be out of nappies by August when he starts nursery and the time is ticking by fast.

   He will do it when he is ready. Please don't stress yourself about it and enjoy your holiday. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Posted: 05 June 2008 at 7:48am | IP Logged

Lynie's right, Madz - just leave him a wee bit longer and try again. He'll do it when he's ready - and I definitely found that Cameron took way longer than the girls. It wasn't that he couldn't do it either - it was really frustrating. Eventually we cracked it - helped along with stickers!

Enjoy your holiday and put this to the back of your mind for a wee while.

xxx