Parenting Forums

Posted: 16 June 2008 at 2:57pm | IP Logged

Hi all, just to update on the situation.....

Well thought that it would all go well this wkend and he would stick to his agreement....WELL I WAS SOOO WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cady's dad came to pick her up and lied his way through it. He told me that he was not going to take her to his house to meet the NEW girlfriend and he did the opposite. He agreed to these terms on an e-mail then argued it was my agreement.!!? Telling Cady it is not fair that he can only see her 8 hours every other wk. (Does not make up for all the years he was not there) He also says its nothing to do with me where he takes her or what he does with her!?

What can I do, can I now stop acsess as he broke an agreement, I have also read that because we were not married there is not really alot he can do as far as fighting goes?

HELP,

Posted: 16 June 2008 at 8:56pm | IP Logged

I feel so sorry for everyone who has trouble with an ex, but i see it from the other side of the coin!  My hubby has 2 boys from a previous marriage and he does anything SHE requests of him, including travelling 120 mile round trip every other weekend to fetch them and then another 120 miles to bring them home, but then the mention of our expected little one sends her into fits of rage that her maintance money will go down and the threats of no contact come rapidly! 

Sorry that wasn't supposed to be a rant, but I do feel better now!

Posted: 17 June 2008 at 12:52pm | IP Logged

Awww bless you both. It's not easy and the kids always (well normally) end up being hurt in it all in one way or another but over time they florish (sp?) with the love and attention that they do get.

I can only suggest to anyone who has problems to seek advice from a solicitor, keep a diary and get it all in writing where you both sign it to agree.

I think it was steph above that said it takes give and take, which is so true, your kids happiness has to come first.

Posted: 17 June 2008 at 1:36pm | IP Logged

Hi all,

  Cady spoke to her dad last night, I had left all day to think about what she wanted and she came up with her own idea of supervised visits with her dad. She wants me to supervise or there is no visits. She even rang him and told him this.    I don't think he beleived her as he then rang me and asked where it came from so I told him the truth. He was not happy at all but as I told him you have to do what she wants or you won't see her at all. Lets see what happens now as I have also sent off the CSA paperwork which he will kick off about.

So thanks for the advice peeps its getting there with that one....

 I also see it from the other side too so in a way get to know about both sides of the coin. My partners ex was playing up recently telling us rules and she would stop him from seeing his daughter, fortunatly he has had her every wkend from birth and been the devoted dad so there are good ones out there.....

 xxx

Posted: 17 June 2008 at 3:48pm | IP Logged

Bex, if the supervised visits dont work out, and he tries to apply for access its important that you have an accurate diary of all the agreements you have made together, and how/when he broke them. All the emails you sent, and he's sent need to be printed off and kept in this diary also. If it does go to court the judge will want to see a valid reason why joint access should not be granted. And just because he's not on the birth certificate doesn't mean he doesnt have rights, it just means he has to fight a little harder to get them. 

Hopefully he'll listen to what Cady wants, and it'll all work out in the end. Good luck with CSA, they are an absolute nightmare lol

Posted: 22 July 2008 at 11:40am | IP Logged

Hi all, well hectic life so not been about much.....

  Well as I thought, Cade told her dad what she wanted and the man is so predictable. He has not phoned or anything. I have now contacted the CSA but that is now turning into a nightmare

I don't think she even checks her phone to see if he calls her. The reaction is just of disbeleif really when I ask if he has called, she has a sigh and then just says he has let her down.

Nice to know what an idelic father he is not.......

Just to let you all know also, I am so proud of Cade, she has has her Exam results back and she has had straight 4's and one 5 in her SATS...

She has also had her Report back for the year and it was all VG and high marks all the way through..............Well Done Cade!!!!!

Posted: 22 July 2008 at 12:44pm | IP Logged

Awww hunny hugs, the csa is a nightmare.... you almost have to ring daily to make sure things are still correct. I had them close my case just because they didn't read the information i'd sent them and because they where dragging their feet.

Good luck with them.

As for Cade.

Well done babes, you sound like a very bright and level headed girl.

As for your dad it's his loss and they just don't realise on what they are missing but at the end of the day it gives you more free time to do things you enjoy doing x