Parenting Forums

Posted: 06 July 2008 at 12:46pm | IP Logged

I am completely shocked by something I have just read. Another parent was asking who had 5 year old children, and what could they do as she wanted to know if her 5 year old was under/over achieving. There was a few replies like 'my 5 year old is in the top set' 'oh my 5 year old can receite all his times tables', then the OP replied saying her DD can read all 40 words, books up to level 4 I think she said, and then previous posters came back with my child is at such a level. It just seemed like they were all point scoring on what their 5 year old could do. Does it really matter what acedemic level the child is at, so long as they are acheiving to the best of their ability. I know we all have proud mummy moments, of course we do, and sometimes we like to share them. However, I cant believe parents were actually sitting their trying to go one better on their child's ability. Maybe it is because I am lucky, Joshua doesn't have large class sizes like so many other schools (16 in his class) and there is a lot of staff so every child gets taught to their level and there is no need for 'sets'. Does it really matter if your child was in the top or bottom set? So long as they are getting the right support for their level, they are not left bored in the classroom and enjoy learning does it matter where they fall in ability level?

Sorry, it just got me all wound up. For the rest of my days I will always remember an incident I had at school. I couldn't do Math, I was rubbish and my teacher wanted to move me down a set. However, I wanted to go to a specific college, and I needed a B GCSE to get in, so going down a set was not an option, as the best grade I'd then be able to get was a C. I had to fight my corner hard, and the head, my parents everyone was involved. Eventually another teacher said he'd teach me in his class, at the higher level. I worked hard for 2 years, really hard. Math didn't come naturally to me like it did for my friends. When we went to pick up our GCSE results I was scared, if I didnt get the B then I wouldn't get into college. I got an A, and then my best friend turned round to me asked what I got, she said 'oh well Im sorry, I got an A*'. Of course she got an A*, Math to her was easy, answers just spilled from her. I realised it didn't matter that I hadn't got all A*'s like my friends, my A to me was far more valuable, because I had worked hard and deserved that grade. All my years at school I had competed to be like them, most of my friends were so clever. Yet I realised I deserved all my grades, I knew I had worked hard and I didn't need top grades to be better than them, just so long as I had done my best then we were equals!

This is what I try to teach Joshua. It doesn't matter if you are good or bad at something, all that matters is that you tried your best. We cant all be good at everything, and everyone has things they are good at and things they are bad at. I wish some of these parents I was reading from thought about that. I can imagine these parents push their little children, sometimes too hard.

Anyway, rant over lol