Parenting Forums

Posted: 09 July 2008 at 9:25am | IP Logged

Hey All,

DH and I have just added ourselves to the local council register in order to start looking for a bigger house as our tiny 2 bedroomed terrace just isn't big enough for the 4 of us. We're hoping to get one fairly local, however as some of the housing estates round here aren't very nice, we realised that wasn't necessarily going to be possible so have also been looking at houses a little further away.

The thing is DD is now eight and very settled in her current school (now we've finally sorted the bullying thing out) We have theoretically said that if we move further away I could drive her to school, however as I'm currently studying fulltime and then I'll be working full time, it's become obvious that that won't always be possible. We've talked to Jess about how she would feel about changing schools and she is, unsurprisingly, somewhat resistant to the idea. She is a really well balanced kid and makes friends really easily where ever we take her, so I feel sure that as long as we got her in at a decent school she'd settle in fine. The thing is my Mum (whose very close to us all) keeps telling me it would be really unfair of us to unsettle Jess and drag her off to a new school. I'm now left wondering what to do for the best. If we stay here we're all gonna be cramped up and limited to what we can have/do because of space issues (small house, small rooms, small garden) If we move to the first house that becomes available in this area , then we could well end up on some horrible housing estate, with horrible neighbours which could then lead to stress. If we can find a nice house in a nice area, but it's not round here, realistically, Jess is going to need to change schools.

I was just wondering if anyone else has swapped their kids schools at this sort of age and how they coped with it all. Any advice anyone could give me would be great

Posted: 09 July 2008 at 9:47am | IP Logged

We was in quite a similar position.
There was the 6 of us all in a tiny 2 bedroomed so it was very cramped, and we were looking at bigger properties further away which meant changing schools.
In the end we got offered a 3 bed in the next villiage down the road, so although there is a school a little closer, I chose to keep them were they were and just put up with a 25 minute walk to school.. But the reson for that was my eldest ds has special help with his education and is really coming on now, so i didnt want to interupt that mainly.

I think you'd need to do some research into the area's avaliable and check out the local schools and what the area is like, because once you've moved into a 3 bed, there's no valid reason why you should be changed around simply because you just dont like the area.
Personally, if i had the choice to be in a bigger house, in a nicer area, i would go with that as your bound to have a better quality of life for your girls.
Jess will soon settle down and make friends easily, all kids do at that age.
We've only been in our new place about a month, but my kids have made lots of friends in our street no problem.
Good luck.
x-x-x

Posted: 09 July 2008 at 12:23pm | IP Logged

We moved house when Becca was 10 and Ruthie 8 (due to hubby being in RAF). They had been extremely settled in the school they were in, and also had to deal with moving 200 miles away from our friends and family, including their dad. I was quite worried about the upheaval for them, but I have to say they really settled in quickly and made loads of friends. Rebecca had a girl and her dad at the door 10 minutes after coming in from her first day at school, introducing themselves and asking if she could come to play at theirs.

In my experience (having had to shift the kids a couple of times now due to postings) they adapt pretty well to change, and tend to make friends relatively easily at that age.

I agree with Amanda - I'd personally prefer to stay in a bigger house in a nicer area - be better for the girls in the long run.

Good luck!

xxx

Posted: 09 July 2008 at 2:02pm | IP Logged

I think maybe you should cross the bridge when you come to it, like others have said kids adapt alot easier than we do, it is a hard choice but you have to think how much the move would benefit the whole family and as you probably arent going to be moving too far tell your dd that she can still have her friends round to play in her own bedroom and larger garden.

Good luck xxx

Posted: 09 July 2008 at 3:02pm | IP Logged

I was worried about moving my son when he was younger than you dd. He was 5. Turns out after a bit of a chat and bringing him down for a look around he loved it and has never looked back.

I think a better area and house is a plus, more space etc to have friends round is always a bonus..... good luck it's not easy but i agree kids bounce back really well.

Good luck with your application and i hope you find a nice big house soon and not too far away.