Pregnancy Forums

Posted: 17 July 2008 at 11:11am | IP Logged

This past few weeks have been really tough for me, both physically and mentally.

I have always had a very positive attitude as far as my SPD is concerned - I have always pushed for new treatments, researched everything, tried anything possible, determined to beat this and move on.

When I started my prolotherapy I really felt I had found the treatment which was going to work for me and that the only way was up. I was warned it would take much longer with me than with other people and other conditions but I didnt mind.

However now I have had a set which havent taken at all - and I have never had an improvement in the length of pain free time I have between injections, which makes me wonder how I can possibly move forward. I have started to accept that this might be my life for the foreseeable future.

Its been tough for me, and I havent had much support in it. My family have been great but DH is struggling with the implications and I have had friends who have criticized me for changing my mind as far as deciding to applying for disability allowance is concerned.

I am also considering taking an automatic licence instead of manual if it means I might be able to drive earlier. Its something I need to look into. The disability forms are a nightmare and I'm so scared of filling them out wrong or not putting the information in the right words as I have heard that the wording can make all the difference.

I am seeing my doctor tomorrow about sorting my medication out as I am so tired, I'm not sleeping and I am really struggling to get about. However now I have my head around this a bit better, and my anti depressents are kicking in, I am feeling a lot less emotional. I am very tired and always in pain so I am not perfect but I am moving on and trying to do my best for my son.

Edward has made it so much easier as he is so helpful. He asks me regually how I am feeling, if my hips hurt, am I in pain, etc and gives me lots of cuddles and kisses. He fetches my step and helps me into the bath and shower and he fetches my stick if I need to get up and helps sort my pillows for me.

I felt awful yesterday as he was curled up next to me on the sofa, leaned across me to get something and slipped. His elbow went right into my groin and it hurt so much I cried out and had tears running down my cheeks. He felt so bad and wouldnt leave me alone. He cuddled me for ages and fetched me his cuddly toys to make me feel better. He even offered to tuck me into bed and read to me!

Sorry I have gone on a bit - it just helps so much to get it all down. - Right, now I'm off to get on with my DLA forms.

Posted: 17 July 2008 at 11:33am | IP Logged

Acceptance is the hardest part hunny, once you have got that sussed then hopefully things will get easier.  Remember, think about the things you can do, not whay you can't.  It took me a while to accept my condition, now that I have, I try to concentrate on what I can do, and its tough, its very tough, but wallowing in it is just a waste of time and effort that can be put to good use somewhere else.

Good luck with your DLA forms, put down as much information as you can, and hopefully you will be awarded something.

Big hugs hunny, you are not alone, please don't think you are xxxxxxxxxxx

Posted: 17 July 2008 at 12:57pm | IP Logged

Hun admitting and accepting what lies ahead for the foreseeable future is the hardest part. A lot of taking things day to day is down to the planning.

As for the forms put down anything and everything, even if you are not sure if it’ll help, if in doubt pop it down.

Time how long you can walk for etc Good luck they are a bit depressing in themselves to fill out and I wish you luck in your application.

Posted: 17 July 2008 at 7:07pm | IP Logged

Mate...your still alive...and thats the important bit.  So you cant go skydiving etc.  But you are alive..and you know its not going to kill you.

Acceptance is the toughie to deal with..but once you get your head round it, then you just adapt your life to it.

Posted: 18 July 2008 at 11:52am | IP Logged

Thanks everyone.

Steph - I do regually think that, at the end of the day there is always people worse off than me and at least I will be here to watch my son grow up, even if I cant chase him round! (although the skydiving bit made me chuckle because i have actually got a parachute jump booked for next year that I may have to cancel).

I've just got in from the doctors and I got on OK. I gave him my Oramorph diary and he's put me on 40mg of MST on prolonged release to see how I get on although it may well get put up to 60mg. I am still to use Oramorph for breakthrough pain.

I am so tired at the moment I cant keep my eyes open and I have a busy afternoon so I'm going to lay down on the sofa for a bit whilst Eds watches a dvd (terrible parenting I know but its a once in a blue moon event).

As for the DLA forms, I am going to try and contact CAB for advice as I just want to be sure everything is worded right and I get all the correct information down.

Just wish me luck for the 29th July when I see my consultant and can find out what my long term prospects are.

Posted: 18 July 2008 at 6:33pm | IP Logged

Hunny im so sorry to hear that youve been/are in so much pain with your spd im not sure really what to say purely because im not in your shoes but i really wish i could do or say something to take this pain and hurt away for good .

It was nice to see you today in tescos but honestly i cant get you out of my thoughts if you need anything t all please ask (yes i know your stubborn but please ask ) when is Tony back ? if you want any company this weekend call im out sat night but any other time this weekend is fine even if you just want to cry , scream or natter .

Thinking of you heaps hun xx P.S Eds really is gorgeous hun be proud

Posted: 19 July 2008 at 9:58am | IP Logged

Madz i know this isnt the same situation, but my Dh has just applied for Disability (He did it over the phone, but your right to fill out the forms, as you can get your points across much easier writing it than trying to get words in edgeways between questions) and as he is the main breadwinner in our family, he is finding it hard to deal with and feeling the way you do about accepting it.
I dont see why your friends aren't being supportive, you must have thought long and hard about this decision, and if needs must hun, then so you should put in for it. There's no shame in recieving it, its there for the people who need it!

We all know you've had a postive outlook on your life, but you cant be happy go lucky 100% of the time.. theres bound to be more down times than up, but if something like Disability Allowance will allow you to drive, then surely thats an added bonus.

You know you have good friends around you when you need them, and we are all hear to listen as much as we can.
Take care hunny.
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