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Posted: 07 October 2008 at 4:39pm | IP Logged

Hi girls I need your advice.

I have tried potty training Eds a handful of times with no success. However over the past month or so he has made a big deal of not wanting nappies and wanting pants like a big boy. I waited til he was settled at school and have started.

I am only doing it in the afternoon as I know at nursery he will end up going through umpteen changes and I dont want the other children picking on him about it. As soon as he gets home he changes into his pants.

I do keep putting him on the potty/toilet and he is so proud when he has a wee. If I leave him he often has accidents and wasnt telling me and trying to hide the fact he'd wee'd.

I told him that I didnt mind the accidents but I would be cross if he lied to me so to tell me straight away and I wouldnt be upset. This worked and he started telling me when he had had an accident.

In the toilet the other day he was having a wee and was able to stop and start the flow (he was talking about whether we could hear the wee or not) so I explained that when he has an accident if he does that and stops the flow of wee he can quickly get to the potty and have his wee. He has managed this quite a few times since.

What he cant crack though is telling me before he starts weeing. I know from previous attempts at potty training months ago that he did crack this once and spent a few days telling me before he went and not having any spills first but this time round - nothing! He is also not progressing with poos. He just does them in his pants.

He hates having accidents and if I mention wearing nappies he gets upset and says he isnt a baby anymore. But I dont know what to do - I cant keep putting him on the potty every 20 mins as that doesnt teach him anything about control - he needs to learn how to tell me he needs to go. I'm scared to go out as he always has a little accident before he manages to tell me the wee wee is coming.

I know if he isnt ready then i should leave it but it would upset him more if I stop now. I have tried rewards, sticker charts etc, he isnt scared of the potty or toilet, but I just dont know what to do next. Once he has cracked telling me before the wee comes then we've done it but at the moment it looks a long way off.

He's 3 and a half by the way.

Posted: 07 October 2008 at 6:17pm | IP Logged

Practise makes perfect!  Keep at it and he'll crack it soon enough.  I would advice you send him to nursery in big boy pants, I'll bet there are other children toilet training at nursery and he will learn from them too.  Speak to the NN's if your worried but at our nursery we would rather have accidents than having the children in pull-ups if they are ready to be toilet trained.

Posted: 07 October 2008 at 11:39pm | IP Logged

Hi Madz, My son is also 3 & a half an was after 3 when i started toilet training, I would agree with everyone else talk to your nursery tell them what your doing an im sure they'll be more than happy to go along with what your doing than confuse your son by being in pants at home an nappies there. When they know you've started they will remind him and take them in groups, going with his friends can be a great help.

Be prepared for lots of changes, i also took my son shopping to choose his pants & stickers an put them on him (even at nursery) rather than a chart and put them in a book at night an told him how clever he was with all the stickers he'd collected during that day  

It's not easy i never thought he'd do it some days, he still has the odd accident but you will get there,  good luck

Posted: 08 October 2008 at 1:11pm | IP Logged

Thanks everyone. I will stick it out and I will also contact the school about sending him in in pants. I will probably wait until Monday and do it as a fresh start next week. Thanks for the support.

Any other tips will be greatly appreciated.

Posted: 15 October 2008 at 12:45am | IP Logged

The best advice I can give is not to worry. Do as I say not as I did! LOL, boy did I worry with DD from being just over 2 through to her being 3 3/4 when WE cracked it.

It really helped DD to realise that there were not just toilets at home and at nursery. We talked about all the places where we visited regularly which had toilets including which trains & main train stations we used to travel on weekly. For her it was a great relief, no pun intended, and suddenly it was a though she stopped worrying about too and not so long after we cracked it.

You and Eds WILL get there and I believe then you'll look back as I do now & think of all the unnecessary stress we bring upon ourselves as parents.