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Posted: 12 October 2008 at 12:56am | IP Logged

I have had the day from hell, Giles took Zak at 6 this morning, he has a key so I was still asleep. That was fine I said he could have him until Monday. He started calling me about 11ish throwing abuse at me, telling me Im a dirty slut and a *, Im ugly, etc. This went on all day, him calling, giving abuse, me hanging up on him. He sent me a text telling me he was on a train to Scotland with Zak,and would only bring him back when he thought it was safe here, so I called the police in a right state. By 6ish we had kinda sorted thing outs, he apologised, I called the police off. Next thing u know Im getting a phone call from Giles crying as the police had turned up at his and had taken Zak off him, he said they were going to put him in care. I spoke to the police officer and he told me that wasnt the case but could I go and get Zak. They didnt want to leave him with Giles. Well it took me and my dad 2 hours to get there. When we did 3 police were outside Giles's place with Zak. Giles had been arrested, he was drunk and the place was a tip, the police had grabbed what they could but my travel cot, bottle, dummy, blankets are all still in his room. They handed Zak to me and told me that the Child Protection Team will be in touch and that I will more than likely get full custody.

Giles was supposed to be paying my virgin bill as he had run it up £177, and he owes me £345(but thats another story). So now I will lose my internet, phone and tv cos no way can I pay it.

We got back at 11 and it has taken me until half an hour ago to settle Zak down to sleep. This has been one of the worst days of my life, I havent cried so much in my life.

Georgina xxx

Posted: 12 October 2008 at 1:13am | IP Logged

aww Georgina, i have nothing but sympathy for you right now...and a huge virtual hug!

What an awful ordeal you have had, and no wonder you feel like the day from hell just happened! I really hope you and Zak are ok, it must have been tough on the poor little man too!

If Giles was drunk and in charge of Zak and the place was a mess, i am not suprised the cops didn't want Zak to be left with him, not a great example to set on such a vulnerable human!

I hope tomorrow is a little better, spend some quality time with Zak, heaven knows what he will be thinking.

We are all here for you if you need to vent! Hugs xxxx

Posted: 12 October 2008 at 8:52am | IP Logged

Hi hun

I'm so sorry to hear you've had a day like this..... i'd contact the CAB pronto and see if they can help out with the bills etc that he's accrued and to make sure your getting all the benefits your entitled to (might have to see the job centre for that).... if not speak to the police and see if they can advise anything... (not sure if  they can help if not they might be able to point you in the right direction. Finally i'd also call virgin themselves and tell them of the situation

I'm relived to hear that little zak seems to be ok.... you must have been worried sick.... at least you now know your not to hang out your hopes on him. Hope you are ok..... are you and your dad close? Could he help out with the bills so you don't loose your life line?

Have you been told of the reasons surrounding giles arrest? I know it's scary to hear the child protection team will be getting involved but it's probably to make sure that giles doesn't see zak till he's matured and if anything further down the line he gets supervised visitation. They hopefully will be able to support you and to check on you too as you need to be strong to bounce back and you will babes. Don't start panicking you will loose zak as they will just want to confirm that you have everything you need and their has been no harm come to zak.

Hugs hunny try to keep incontact if you can but i would call them monday morning.

Posted: 12 October 2008 at 9:12am | IP Logged

Thank you, My dad and I arent very close, but he is always there for me. He recently lent me the money to pay half the bill as it was over £300, which Im having to pay back at £20 a week, as long as Giles paid the rest. He told me then that he couldnt help me out anymore. I have no idea why he was arrested all I know was that the police feared for Zaks safety. Im guessing that the police will be in touch at some point today but Im going to disappear over to my parents for the day.

I really need to be with people but all my good friends are miles away and cant get here, 1 is going to try and get here tomoz. My eldest is now saying she is too upset to go to school tomoz. I feel like a total failure, I trusted Giles to look after his son.

Posted: 12 October 2008 at 9:27am | IP Logged

Hunny dont' feel like a failure, try not to run from the police as they only want to help you.... you can only trust the other halfs to look after our little ones. What he does with zak etc you can only trust..... after all you hope with him having some parental responsibility that he would be ok. ( i never know what my son does with my ex till after he comes home and then i have to ask what things did you and daddy do this weekend.)

If you eldest is saying she's that upset maybe it might be worth looking into counciling as family for you all and some for you on your own to help you know you're not a faliure. Also contact the school and let them know whats happened and they will keep an eye on her.

Call the phone company babes they might do a deal as you've paid off half of it. They might accept x amount a week if you can afford it and leave you your services but limit your account limit ie £100 per mth so once you reach that you'll not be able to make calls etc. It might be worth ringing them, they can be very helpful sometimes.

Good luck hunny

Posted: 12 October 2008 at 10:06am | IP Logged

That must have been an awful experience for you but please dont blame yourself. You did the right thing in the circumstances, contacting the police and getting Zak back. The police often wont get involved in these cases so the fact that the removed Zak from Giles' care and returned him to you shows that they were not happy to leave him in the enviroment he was in but were happy to return him to you.

Zany is right about contacting CAB - they will be able to let you know your rights. Also call the phone line etc and any companies you owe money too. Be honest about the situation and they will help you out. Some will suspend the account for 28 days, allowing you access but not racking up late payment charges, to allow you to sort out your finances. Others will accept much lower payments. Just be honest, you have nothing to lose.

As for your eldest, it must have been traumatic for her too and I would suggest having a long talk with her. Tell her you will allow her one day off school if she feels she needs it to recover but to use it wisely (catching up on homework/talking things through with you/spending time with her little brother etc) and that on Tuesday she will need to return as we cannot put our lives on hold. That is only my advice, you do what is best.

Stay in touch with the police/child protection services etc - they are there to support you and Zak and make sure he is happy and safe. Good luck.

Posted: 12 October 2008 at 10:19am | IP Logged

The police have both my numbers, I am actually looking forward to the help I will get,its been so hard getting Giles to let go and leave me alone. My parents just dont want me on my own today. Jennifer has just started to have councilling at sch as she saw so much when I was with her dad. She also tries anything to get out of school on certain days so tend to make her go.

I called his parents to let them know that he had been arrested, and of course I was blamed for it all. Yes I had called the police earlier in the day due to the text about him being on a train to Scotland with Zak, but we had sorted it out and I had called them off. A neighbour called them as far as I know. His parents have only heard his side but of course Im in the wrong, I have had to call the police a few times on Giles. He also tried causing trouble with my parents by calling them yesterday and telling them lies, lucky for me Mum didnt believe him she knew he was drunk. I have let him stay here, fed him, done his washing, lent him money as his job was over here and not where his room was. He would watch me to get my passwords to my emails and read them and get hold of my phone to read my texts. I had a new bf but that ended and I believe that it was due to Giles causing trouble.

God I feel like Im going on!

Posted: 12 October 2008 at 10:42am | IP Logged

Don't worry about feeling like your going on hunny it's a case of better out than being bottled up.

You have done all you can hunny and now it's time to step back he made his bed and he has to lie in it now.... he parents are likely to try and place blame but don't listen to them babes, you have been a good parent, done all you can to protect your kids, not with the police on your side hopefully you'll be able to find the much needed help and the sliver lining won't be so far out of reach.

Have a wonderful day at your parents and i hope you're feeling better this evening x

Posted: 12 October 2008 at 12:54pm | IP Logged

I have changed the title of the thread to just read Ex as I dont feel names are nessesary in the titles. I hope you dont mind.

I just wanted to add - If he still has a key to your house and was able to sneak in and take Zak at 6am without waking you then I would suggest changing your lock or using the chain bolt at the very least tonight and until you can have the locks changed. Once he is sober be will be released and I think you really have to put your children first here.